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The Off-Topic Lounge

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OldAle1
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Re: The Off-Topic Lounge

#25441

Post by OldAle1 » December 25th, 2018, 3:02 pm

Well I always had a pretty good relationship with my mom - in some ways it's worse unfortunately since I moved back. But she would NEVER have left my dad had I or my brother not helped her, and my brother was married and had two kids and a decent job; I had nothing. Money hasn't been a problem, at least not a major one - my dad was and is a total miser so they had lots of savings, and this is one of the cheapest parts of the country. But my mom was so passive she just wasn't going to leave - and my dad to give him credit was never physically abusive - never - but he's certainly emotionally abusive and in some ways very Trump-like - unable and unwilling to listen to anyone else, absolutely convinced he's got all the answers, and totally narcissistic and solipsistic, unable to and unwilling to care about any other person except to the extent that that person does something for him. In the 31 years since I left home to go to college, I think I got a phone call from him precisely one time, and when I came home he would totally ignore me except if he had something he wanted me to help him with. I got over his shouting, anger, aggressiveness to a large extent and it hasn't infected me too much I hope but mom just turned inward and dealt with it by reading lowbrow romance novels and crying a lot, and by the summer of 2013 at 79 she was just too weak to go on her own, but my dad was clearly driving her to an earlier death and so my brother and I came out here over a weekend when dad was visiting his older brother in jail (!!! - I've had 3 close relatives in jail over the past 3 decades, one of them for first-degree murder of his own mother - so much for crime being an inner-city minority issue in America huh) and moved her out without telling him. She couldn't have done it with him there, he would have literally been in her face screaming at her the whole time and probably would have given her a heart attack.

Anyway there are some good things and some bad things about the arrangement as you might expect but given that my life wasn't going in a good direction in Vermont over the last several years I was there this is more a lateral move than anything else. I would never say that I recommend such a thing but I don't not recommend it either. In some ways I'll say I'm glad to be back in the midwest and I've definitely gotten more interested in politics since being here - when you live in a state like VT you really have to be intensely political deep down to get involved because - apart from governor - everything has trended solidly blue for decades. Here everything is being fought about every day and I feel like my vote at the least counts for more, and it gets me more interested in what's going on. There was a city council meeting a couple of weeks ago about the fucking casino that's supposed to be built and I would have gone to that if I'd known about it - still not used to checking the local news often enough.

Sounds like your situation with your family is rougher than mine in some ways, I hope you can come to some tolerable resolutions. DON'T FEEL GUILTY in any case, whatever happens.

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#25442

Post by RBG » December 25th, 2018, 3:08 pm

that's a wonderful story about how you saved your mom! i got a lil bit teary reading that. if anything my dad was the passive one but he died some years back. mother misses having someone to pick on as much as anything i think. she's always been angry but is mellowing a little. i'd be in the opposite situation, moving to a solidly blue state lol. i feel like my input is more needed here! anyway thanks for sharing your story and merry christmas :hug:
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#25443

Post by OldAle1 » December 25th, 2018, 3:22 pm

Merry Christmas to you too! And everyone here, even the Grinches and Scrooges.

I've finally gotten over my period of not being willing to say Merry Christmas - it is after all the holiday I grew up with, my family aren't gathering for Winter Solstice or Hannukah or Kwanzaa or anything else, even if none of us are believers.

My dad is a big part of why I - and my mom and my brother - have been even more angry about Trump than maybe most liberals are. When you have someone with such personality traits close to you it makes the idea of seeing it in the WH ever day pure anathema. This is also why I cannot tolerate Laki - but perhaps she's never known anybody like this and I should give her some slack? Just can't though, not these days. Anybody bright enough or curious enough to be serious about film shouldn't be stupid enough to be taken in by this kind of personality disorder, frankly.

Sometimes I have to admit these narcissists can be funny - from a distance. My dad's dealings with his own health are very reminiscent of Drumpf''s "only I can do this" mentality - my dad is always changing his diet or medicine against the advice of his doctor; he reads something or sees something on TV and becomes convinced that this will solve his problems. He was totally off gluten for about 3 years because he decided on his own that he had celiac disease; then he went vegan because he decided animal fat was the problem; then he went off that and instantly started eating beef regularly which put him in the hospital. Now he's decided that sugar is the problem and won't eat anything with any sugar - any kind of sugar - at all. He's also been on Prozac for about 6-7 years and has at times just stopped taking it because he decided to, or doubled his dose, with not surprisingly poor results. He doesn't listen to anyone and if in a group will expound on his own expertise until everybody finally walks away or start talking about something else over him. And like Der Führer he never accepts any responsibility for his own mistakes, always someone else's fault. He blamed my brother and I for my mom leaving him and without ever talking to us cut us out of his will - one reason I won't be at all surprised if DJT throws his whole family under the bus.

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#25444

Post by maxwelldeux » December 28th, 2018, 8:19 am

Weird fuckin' world...

Just got an Emergency Alert text on my phone. Paraphrasing, but the message was:

"911 doesn't work right now. If you have an emergency, call your local police/fire department. We have zero idea when this will be fixed."

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#25445

Post by funkybusiness » December 28th, 2018, 8:32 am

how do you break 911?

not you, but, ya know, "one".

how does one break 911

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#25446

Post by maxwelldeux » December 28th, 2018, 7:24 pm

funkybusiness wrote:
December 28th, 2018, 8:32 am
how do you break 911?

not you, but, ya know, "one".

how does one break 911
By being CenturyLink and forgetting how to keep emergency systems online.

https://www.engadget.com/2018/12/28/911 ... nturylink/

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#25447

Post by Knaldskalle » December 29th, 2018, 6:47 pm

We had no Internet Friday. Thanks CenturyLink. They charge a fortune for 1.5Mbps that they then can't deliver. And it started earlier than "around noon EST", it started around 7.30 am MST (9.30 EST).
Personal film goals for 2019.
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#25448

Post by RBG » December 30th, 2018, 2:22 am

so one day after centurylink is crippled nationwide, a cyberattack caused major printing and delivery disruptions at newspapers across the US?? i don't like where this is headed :/
The source identified the attacker only as a “foreign entity.”
https://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la- ... story.html
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#25449

Post by weirdboy » January 1st, 2019, 4:37 am

Knaldskalle wrote:
December 29th, 2018, 6:47 pm
We had no Internet Friday. Thanks CenturyLink. They charge a fortune for 1.5Mbps that they then can't deliver. And it started earlier than "around noon EST", it started around 7.30 am MST (9.30 EST).
Call up and get a discount on your bill. You shouldn't pay for service you did not receive.

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#25450

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » January 1st, 2019, 4:42 am

The last 3 months of this year were the best of my life. Gave a 10/10 for a film for the first time in 2 years, have a new all time favourite music album, got a job, and got into my first relationship.

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#25451

Post by funkybusiness » January 1st, 2019, 4:55 am

XxXApathy420XxX wrote:
January 1st, 2019, 4:42 am
The last 3 months of this year were the best of my life. Gave a 10/10 for a film for the first time in 2 years, have a new all time favourite music album, got a job, and got into my first relationship.
:circle:
way to go! keep it goin' into the new year!

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#25452

Post by Lilarcor » January 1st, 2019, 6:19 am

:party: :cheers: That is damn impressive, congrats!

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#25453

Post by Gershwin » January 1st, 2019, 6:39 am

It certainly is. Cheers! :cheers:

And happy 2019 to all of you!
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#25454

Post by Lakigigar » January 1st, 2019, 4:43 pm

My depression since my suicide attempt in 2014 only has worsened. I'm not sure if it will ever get better. I'm trying to make sure i'm doing more with my life, but i feel like i even get more depressed than before, despite trying to work on some things finally in my life. I know i'm suicidal, although i haven't done any new attempts since may 2014, but that one was a serious attempt. I'm not sure how i survived it. I did it with an original attempt. I've bought a very dangerous toxic on the internet for only 5 euros as a 16-year old, as i learned about it. I actually bought them already in january, and had them at home for five months, before taking them in / ingesting after thoroughly breaking each shell and chewing them. At first i thought it didn't work, until the heavy vomiting started... and i panicked actually because the vomiting was so severe that i couldn't breathe anymore or had no time to take breath. I think it was close or i could have choked in my own vomit, or at least i was terrified to do so. Since that day, i'm also afraid of vomiting (emetophobia) and can't eat nuts or beans anymore, because they remind me of those vomiting episodes. I can't really chew on nuts anymore. I decided to go to a hospital because i didn't want to choke in my own vomit, and there they gave me active charcoal... They didn't know how to treat me because they've never heard about what i've done, so they had to call with toxicology experts in Brussels - in the capital for a decent treatment. And i know they thought i wouldn't make it... alive. I'm shocked i did... There were heart-related issues, esp. my heart rhythm which was very irregular was worrying... They've kept me on IC (intensive care) for like five days, even though i felt better after one day but my heart rhythm was worrying apparently, because they kept monitoring it. But anyways, i apparently got better because i'm still alive, which is weird. I don't know how i've done it. And was it worth it, probably not... I wouldn't have missed anything in the last four - five years.
Just be sure not to eat the beans from which the oil came. If castor beans are chewed and swallowed, they can release ricin, one of the most toxic poisons known to man. Eating just one or two castor beans can easily cause the demise of the eater.
The toxicity of raw castor beans is due to the presence of ricin. Although the lethal dose in adults is considered to be four to eight seeds, reports of actual poisoning are relatively rare.[22] According to the Guinness World Records, this is the world's most poisonous common plant.[23] Symptoms of overdosing on ricin, which can include nausea, diarrhea, tachycardia, hypotension and seizures, persist for up to a week. However, the poison can be extracted from castor by concentrating it with a fairly complicated process similar to that used for extracting cyanide from almonds.

If ricin is ingested, symptoms may be delayed by up to 36 hours but commonly begin within 2–4 hours. These include a burning sensation in mouth and throat, abdominal pain, purging and bloody diarrhea. Within several days there is severe dehydration, a drop in blood pressure and a decrease in urine. Unless treated, death can be expected to occur within 3–5 days; however, in most cases a full recovery can be made.[24][25]

Poisoning occurs when animals, including humans, ingest broken seeds or break the seed by chewing: intact seeds may pass through the digestive tract without releasing the toxin.[24] The toxin provides the castor oil plant with some degree of natural protection from insect pests such as aphids. Ricin has been investigated for its potential use as an insecticide.[26] The castor oil plant is also the source for undecylenic acid, a natural fungicide.

Most acute poisoning episodes in humans are the result of oral ingestion of castor beans, 5–20 of which could prove fatal to an adult. However, swallowing castor beans rarely proves to be fatal unless the bean is thoroughly chewed. The survival rate of castor bean ingestion is 98%.[10] In 2013 a 37-year-old female in the United States survived after ingesting 30 beans.[41] Victims often manifest nausea, diarrhea, fast heart rate, low blood pressure, and seizures persisting for up to a week.[29] Blood, plasma, or urine ricin or ricinine concentrations may be measured to confirm diagnosis. The laboratory testing usually involves immunoassay or liquid chromatography-mass spectrometry.[42]
I've eaten over 30 myself... It's actually a miracle that i'm alive, especially because i did so much research on how to do it properly.

I must say... sometimes i think about ordering like 200 of them, and if i ever get them, removing the outer shell properly... and than taking everything in but chewing very well, together with anti-vomit medication and sleep medication, which isn't that hard to get because of my sleep disorders (that i don't even need to fake). And to have anti-vomit pills at home, i just need to have the flu once, and go to a doctor and tell them i need to vomit often.

I don't think it's done a lot though, because it's an unknown method and could be a painful death too, and because failure rates are high if you didn't prepare properly for it.

A Case of Castor Bean Poisoning
Castor beans, sometimes used in traditional therapies, contain ricin one of the most toxic substances known. It may cause an acute and potentially fatal gastroenteritis in addition to neurological and ophthalmological lesions. Poisoning may also lead to delayed visceral damages; however, the latter is quite rare. The toxicity is dose related and depends on the amount of castor beans ingested. There is no specific treatment and symptomatic management to reduce the load of the toxin needs to be initiated quickly and early when a case of poisoning is suspected so that serious complications will be avoided. Increasing the awareness of the population to the dangers of ricin would be a way to avoid the utilisation of castor seeds in traditional therapies. Here we are reporting a case of mild poisoning after ingestion of a single castor bean. The patient, who presented at Nizwa Hospital, Oman, fortunately recovered completely as the ingested dose was quite small.
All clinical reports with regard to poisoning refer to castor bean ingestion. Documented mild to lethal clinical symptoms may result from ingesting one half to 30 beans.11 Two castor oil beans were the minimum number found to be associated with death.12 Symptom onset after ingestion is usually within 4 to 6 hours but may be as late as 10 hours.13 Initial symptoms are nonspecific and may include colicky abdominal pain, vomiting, diarrhoea, heartburn, and oropharyngeal pain. Haematemesis and melena are reported less commonly.14 Fluid losses may lead to electrolyte imbalances, dehydration, hypotension, and circulatory collapse.15 Laboratory abnormalities may include leukocytosis, elevated transaminases and creatinine kinase, hyperbilirubinemia, renal insufficiency, and anaemia
I'm also surprised you can just buy it online so cheaply, especially since you can prepare ricin from it (which is used to send ricin letters like they've done to some politicians of the Democratic Party recently), or is a way to kill someone without "it" being noticed afterwards. I mean I was underage, but it's treated as some seeds for gardening stuff... not as a toxic. It's also used in Breaking Bad but i haven't seen it, so some of you will know better in what way it is used.

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#25455

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » January 1st, 2019, 4:54 pm

I attempted at March 2016, and I guess the attempt a few months ago can count too. I was always told the same thing when I first attempted: that this is the bottom of my life and it will only get better from there. Honestly, that was total bullshit, as 2017 and most of 2018 was somehow even worse. But, looking at what I just posted, it is possible that stuff can get better eventually.

Therapy is honestly bullshit. Setting goals and achieving them did a lot more than therapy has ever done. That was from me getting a job. It also finally gave me confidence in myself. I'm not sure if that's why I got into a relationship, but I assume it certainly helped. I heard the same bullshit on reddit about confidence too. That you should love yourself despite everything, which is clearly delusional, or faking it until you get it. Goals seem to be the logical way of gaining confidence in yourself. I guess that'll be my advice to you. Set a goal that you have the drive to achieve, and work your ass off until you get it. It may take years though, but keep pushing for it.

I am slowly realizing how clouded my worldview was too, at least in regards to myself. For example, I always thought I was unattractive, and was called ugly by incels and have bad taste in clothing. When I told my SO that I and others find myself unattractive, the look on their face was priceless. They were just in complete shock that I could think of myself this way.

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#25456

Post by OldAle1 » January 1st, 2019, 4:56 pm

RBG wrote:
December 30th, 2018, 2:22 am
so one day after centurylink is crippled nationwide, a cyberattack caused major printing and delivery disruptions at newspapers across the US?? i don't like where this is headed :/
The source identified the attacker only as a “foreign entity.”
https://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la- ... story.html
Putie, the LA Times hasn't been very nice to me lately, think you can do something about it for me? There's a floor on a Trump Tower that has your name on it...

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#25457

Post by Lakigigar » January 1st, 2019, 4:59 pm

XxXApathy420XxX wrote:
January 1st, 2019, 4:54 pm
I attempted at March 2016, and I guess the attempt a few months ago can count too. I was always told the same thing when I first attempted: that this is the bottom of my life and it will only get better from there. Honestly, that was total bullshit, as 2017 and most of 2018 was somehow even worse. But, looking at what I just posted, it is possible that stuff can get better eventually.

Therapy is honestly bullshit. Setting goals and achieving them did a lot more than therapy has ever done. That was from me getting a job. It also finally gave me confidence in myself. I'm not sure if that's why I got into a relationship, but I assume it certainly helped. I heard the same bullshit on reddit about confidence too. That you should love yourself despite everything, which is clearly delusional, or faking it until you get it. Goals seem to be the logical way of gaining confidence in yourself. I guess that'll be my advice to you. Set a goal that you have the drive to achieve, and work your ass off until you get it. It may take years though, but keep pushing for it.

I am slowly realizing how clouded my worldview was too, at least in regards to myself. For example, I always thought I was unattractive, and was called ugly by incels and have bad taste in clothing. When I told my SO that I and others find myself unattractive, the look on their face was priceless. They were just in complete shock that I could think of myself this way.
Yes sorry :(

I felt so much better in 2014 while attempting it, than i've done now.

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#25458

Post by Knaldskalle » January 1st, 2019, 7:59 pm

XxXApathy420XxX wrote:
January 1st, 2019, 4:42 am
The last 3 months of this year were the best of my life. Gave a 10/10 for a film for the first time in 2 years, have a new all time favourite music album, got a job, and got into my first relationship.
Having just written my condolences to Adam I feel really weird about replying to you now. I guess that's just life?

I'm proud of you, man! You have been through some really tough times. You kept doing "the right thing" and others around you kept dropping the ball - and yet you kept going. I have to admit that I was afraid that we'd lose you this last time around because you'd been so unrelentingly negative for months prior, so seeing that you seem to be heading in the right direction is incredibly gratifying, somehow. Now, don't get me wrong, there will be ups and downs in your future (as there will for all of us), but at least now you know that things can get better, it doesn't have to be a neverending shitshow even if it does seem like that at times. Don't let go, hang in there! :thumbsup:
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#25459

Post by Lammetje » January 2nd, 2019, 8:32 pm

:hug: Laki :hug:

And good job, Ettie!
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#25460

Post by Lakigigar » January 8th, 2019, 6:21 pm

How can you make sure you add a signature to all of your posts... I've just checked the box of attach a signature, but do you always have to check that box. It doesn't automatically post my signature?

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#25461

Post by maxwelldeux » January 8th, 2019, 6:31 pm

Lakigigar wrote:
January 8th, 2019, 6:21 pm
How can you make sure you add a signature to all of your posts... I've just checked the box of attach a signature, but do you always have to check that box. It doesn't automatically post my signature?
Go to your User Control Panel, Board Preferences tab, click on Edit Posting Defaults, then choose "Attach my signature by default" = yes. :cheers:

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#25462

Post by Lakigigar » January 8th, 2019, 6:31 pm

maxwelldeux wrote:
January 8th, 2019, 6:31 pm
Lakigigar wrote:
January 8th, 2019, 6:21 pm
How can you make sure you add a signature to all of your posts... I've just checked the box of attach a signature, but do you always have to check that box. It doesn't automatically post my signature?
Go to your User Control Panel, Board Preferences tab, click on Edit Posting Defaults, then choose "Attach my signature by default" = yes. :cheers:
Yes, i just found it. Thank you :) :cheers:

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#25463

Post by mightysparks » January 11th, 2019, 7:23 am

Uber Eats is one of the greatest, and one of the worst, things to ever happen to the world. When I’m having severe social anxiety it is a serious lifesaver though.
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#25464

Post by mightysparks » January 13th, 2019, 4:28 pm

We only have about 10 days left living in this place. I’m really nervous about leaving because as much as this place has terrible memories attached to it and a horrible housemate, the house itself and the location are pretty great and I know no other place is going to be quite the same. My bf and I are moving to my dad’s old apartment at a beach resort as he needs to do some repairs while trying to sell it. It’s not in a great state. As it’s upstairs and furnished we’re going to have to put some stuff in storage which makes me anxious. It’s further away from the city and uni and a lot of things which sucks. I won’t be able to have my tv with my bed and will have to use a lounge room like a normal person which I’m sad about. I haven’t started packing yet and I’m dreading it. I’m also excited about living on our own and having a kind of holiday living by the beach but I’m so nervous about it too argh
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#25465

Post by Lakigigar » January 13th, 2019, 11:17 pm

Tomorrow i have my second exam from the twelve exams i'll have to finish. Tomorrow i have an oral exam of english. I'm really nervous about it for some reason, like it's just an oral exam of english. I'm not really sure about how good i have to be in english. I type really fast in english, but i'm just not so good in speaking english i guess, or i'm nervous that my vocabulary isn't good enough, or that i'll feel the stress and just completely freeze. It would be embarassing if i fail an english test, because my skills should be good enough. I'm active on several english-speaking forum, but i'm not sure if it's sufficient enough. I feel not comfortable enough. I don't know anything about grammar. I just do everything based on how i feel like what fits best. I barely speak english against other people. I've been able to follow speeches from politicians or was able to follow It Follows without subtitles, but i feel uncomfortable following a lot of movies without subtitles. I check a lot of video's on YouTube and i don't use subtitles for it. The irony of it is that i might use my english more in daily life than my dutch, because i don't do much in my daily life, and almost everything i do on the internet is in english. The settings of my playstation, computer and tv are all in english because i'm used to that. I'm most active on english-speaking forums. I chat more with english-speaking people, and i follow more tv-shows and movies in english and listen to more music in english. Despite all of this, i was terrible in english on secondary school. Aside of maths, my english was my weakest subject. Well yes. I think i've failed even a lot of tests of english.

I've did my first one on 4 january and it was history. The level of it was very high, and i thought i'd easily pass it without studying it, even though i was still nervous about that one... but i've started on it and it really didn't go that well in the beginning. I had to study from the 1789 revolution until 2018. I just did read everything once, from a summary of 120 pages. 40 pages in the evening before i had my exam, 40 pages in the morning, and 40 pages on the 1h30 train drive to Brussels, and it went about the industrial revolution, both the world wars, the political ideologies, political environment, rise of communism, soviet union, conflicts in israel, colonialism, congolese genocide, imperalism, cold war, belgian political history, the belgian and european political institutions, the eu, un and nato and the modern history of china, and some other minor things. But on the exam itself, it was just kind of hard with very detailed questions that were very irrelevant. If i'd pass it, it's because of the many questions about communism (like almost none of the war, and 10 from the 38 about communims, lol?). Everyone said: "you have to learn about the world wars, they'll ask a lot of questions about that", and just one part of the question went about the world war (or 2, in which you got statements of dictators and had to link it with the dictator: two of stalin, one of lenin and one of hitler). I must say sometimes i had to answer things i actually really didn't believe in, but because i think the people would appreciate more, like i had to argumentate in one open question why nationalism is good or why it is bad (and give two arguments for it). I decided to play it on balance, and give one positive argument and one negative argument, because it seemed like a trick question to me. Well yes, i don't have the results of yet. Other people who had to redo their exam said this exam was much more difficult than the past one they had made. Well, i'm glad i wasn't the only one who thinked that (but it was my first exam, i didn't had to redo it, they probably failed to pass on their first exam also).

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#25466

Post by fori » January 13th, 2019, 11:50 pm

Yeah I really feel you, my wife is in the same predicament with regard to English, it’s her primary method of communication day to day, and during conversation she can always communicate the concept she is trying to convey without fail, but in a test she would not perform as well as she should due to the kind of minor syntax and grammar errors in your post.

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#25467

Post by Lakigigar » January 14th, 2019, 5:47 pm

I have passed it, and i got my result: 80/100. I even didn't had a good feeling after i've done it, but apparently it was a lot better than i've thought. I thought the exam went terrible.

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#25468

Post by Lammetje » January 14th, 2019, 7:13 pm

Lakigigar wrote:
January 14th, 2019, 5:47 pm
I have passed it, and i got my result: 80/100. I even didn't had a good feeling after i've done it, but apparently it was a lot better than i've thought. I thought the exam went terrible.
:party:

A couple of things: good at English (not 'in'), speak English to other people (not 'against'), and you need to write names with a capital letter. :geek: Especially the names of Comrade Lenin and Comrade Stalin! :angry:
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#25469

Post by Lakigigar » January 15th, 2019, 12:26 am

Lammetje wrote:
January 14th, 2019, 7:13 pm
Lakigigar wrote:
January 14th, 2019, 5:47 pm
I have passed it, and i got my result: 80/100. I even didn't had a good feeling after i've done it, but apparently it was a lot better than i've thought. I thought the exam went terrible.
:party:

A couple of things: good at English (not 'in'), speak English to other people (not 'against'), and you need to write names with a capital letter. :geek: Especially the names of Comrade Lenin and Comrade Stalin! :angry:
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Yes, but i was surprised.

The assignments were hard. The one vs one conversations really didn't went that well because i didn't understand what she did argue (i mean it didn't make sense, not her english, but what she argued, and i got confused). I had no time enough to prepare for my tasks. I was really nervous. There was an awkard silence of 30 seconds in it. I had trouble speaking fluently, even in dutch, so it's like i was stammering a lot. Some things i said didn't make sense (or what i did argue). I thought i could've failed for the test, and i had 80. It was really weird. I still have a bad feeling over it. I just want to forget it. And despite all of this, it might be my best exam result. Really huge discrepantion between how i felt like it was going and what my result was. I was thinking about the humiliation: having that many posts on english internet forums, and still failing such a test. It would have been humiliating. I still don't understand how i got 80. I was thinking it could have been a mistake or that i somehow misinterprete it, and it is 80 / 200 or something like that. Yes, it was really weird and i just want to forget about it.

You had three tasks you had to prepare for:
In the first assignment, you had to speak for four minutes, and my assignment was that we were supposedly at a european youth forum where we argued about innovative measures our educational system should take. There were a few ideas you could choose from, you could argue in favour or against them and give advantages or disadvantages about such a system. I argued in favour of the state deciding to what school you should go, and against an entrance exam for students for certain study directions.

In the second assignment, i had to talk to a lady about three articles i had read (which i had to prepare for). The first article was about women and children using more & more mobile phones and how that interfered with our communication (i must say i didn't had the time to properly read that article, so i didn't went in detail about that one). The second article was about how we eat way too much eat and livestock and how the article proposed we should eat more vegetables & fruits (something i know more about... but i didn't do well on that one, partly because the lady argued in a weird way against me in favour of eating meat, and it confused me a lot, and i couldn't argue very well about it, because when i tried to explain she interrupted me lol). The third article went about how musicians with a bagpipe in Dorset (where cipp lives LOL) scare away homeless people, and how it's ethically not right.

At the third assignment, i had to recommend in what kickstarter project where the person i spoke against should invest in: a mmorpg game, an air cleaner (that reduces dirty air particles... i didn't read that one very well) and the 3D printer (which i haven't read how it was cheap and i argued it was too expensive LOL). I just didn't had the time to properly prepare for everything, but i argued for the mmorpg game, because it was accessible, because gaming is popular among younger generations, improves general knowledge of the english language among gamers, and said that the 3D printer was too risky and argued that we need to take positive measures in order to reduce air waste instead of investing in something that prevents, which doesn't solve the problem.

But neither of those assignments went really well, and i couldn't explain everything lol.

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#25470

Post by fori » January 15th, 2019, 5:55 am

What test was it? An IELTS?

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#25471

Post by Lakigigar » January 15th, 2019, 3:21 pm

I just don't know, it's just secondary school, but self-study and i have to do my exams.
History
English - oral exam (40%) - i have 80/100 for this part / writing (60%), so in fact i have already 32/100 with 60 points more to earn possibly
French - oral exam (40%) - writing (60%)
Dutch - oral exam (40%) - writing (60%)
Geography
Nature sciences
maths (ugh)
sociology (how people behave
culture sciences (politics, ...)

My next one is nature sciences, but i absolutely hate science.

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#25472

Post by Lakigigar » January 16th, 2019, 12:16 am

I have like abdominal pain at times for already 7 days. It was especially painful on the night of 8 to 9 january, but i have had almost it every day, although to a lesser extent. I don't know why it is, but stress and not having a healthy diet might be two main factors of it. Lack of sunlight (vitamine D deficiency), not a good biological clock are other possible reasons, but the abdominal pain was really painful 7 days ago, and it is recurrent (but less painful than seven days ago fortunately). It's like i feel i need to go to the bathroom all the time, but am constipated. At other times, it's the opposite. I have even seen spots of blood in stool. Because of this, i've become more scared to eat enough, because i think i would worsen the symptoms, and i've pretty eaten over 2000 kcalories every day. Maybe my body isn't used to it (i haven't eat very healthy at times). Today i've eaten healthy, but three meals and some snacks as well. Still, i don't get why i'm so underweight and keep losing weight. It's quite annoying. It's not like i feel sick because of it, but i have skipped meals because of it. That's why i did my exam without eating food that day on monday. I've had in the past, but never seven days in a row, usually once in three months (but the painful ones). They don't last long (15 to 30 minutes, although last wednesday it took almost 1 to 2 hours, i know it passes because of experience, but i've never had it seven days in a row).

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#25473

Post by funkybusiness » January 16th, 2019, 12:24 am

if you've got blood in your stool and it's not hemorrhoids, you need to go to the doctor.

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#25474

Post by Knaldskalle » January 16th, 2019, 4:51 am

funkybusiness wrote:
January 16th, 2019, 12:24 am
if you've got blood in your stool and it's not hemorrhoids, you need to go to the doctor.
Yes. Blood in your urine or in your stool = doctor.
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#25475

Post by Lakigigar » January 16th, 2019, 11:41 am

funkybusiness wrote:
January 16th, 2019, 12:24 am
if you've got blood in your stool and it's not hemorrhoids, you need to go to the doctor.
It wasn't that bad.

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#25476

Post by PeacefulAnarchy » January 16th, 2019, 4:53 pm

Lakigigar wrote:
January 16th, 2019, 11:41 am
funkybusiness wrote:
January 16th, 2019, 12:24 am
if you've got blood in your stool and it's not hemorrhoids, you need to go to the doctor.
It wasn't that bad.
It's not about the amount of blood. The concern isn't internal bleeding it's that these things:
Lakigigar wrote:
January 16th, 2019, 12:16 am
I have like abdominal pain at times for already 7 days.
It's like i feel i need to go to the bathroom all the time, but am constipated. At other times, it's the opposite. I have even seen spots of blood in stool.
i've pretty eaten over 2000 kcalories every day. Maybe my body isn't used to it (i haven't eat very healthy at times). Today i've eaten healthy, but three meals and some snacks as well. Still, i don't get why i'm so underweight and keep losing weight.
I've had in the past, but never seven days in a row, usually once in three months (but the painful ones). They don't last long (15 to 30 minutes, although last wednesday it took almost 1 to 2 hours, i know it passes because of experience, but i've never had it seven days in a row)
All together are some red flags. It could be that you're just not eating right/enough, our self perception of how much we eat isn't always accurate, but it could also be that you are having digestive problems, or some disease somewhere along the way is causing you to not properly absorb nutrients or something else along those lines. I'm not a doctor so I don't know what it could be, but if this stuff has been going on for over a week then it's probably the right move to go to a doctor and have them figure it out.

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#25477

Post by Lakigigar » January 16th, 2019, 5:08 pm

PeacefulAnarchy wrote:
January 16th, 2019, 4:53 pm
Lakigigar wrote:
January 16th, 2019, 11:41 am
funkybusiness wrote:
January 16th, 2019, 12:24 am
if you've got blood in your stool and it's not hemorrhoids, you need to go to the doctor.
It wasn't that bad.
It's not about the amount of blood. The concern isn't internal bleeding it's that these things:
Lakigigar wrote:
January 16th, 2019, 12:16 am
I have like abdominal pain at times for already 7 days.
It's like i feel i need to go to the bathroom all the time, but am constipated. At other times, it's the opposite. I have even seen spots of blood in stool.
i've pretty eaten over 2000 kcalories every day. Maybe my body isn't used to it (i haven't eat very healthy at times). Today i've eaten healthy, but three meals and some snacks as well. Still, i don't get why i'm so underweight and keep losing weight.
I've had in the past, but never seven days in a row, usually once in three months (but the painful ones). They don't last long (15 to 30 minutes, although last wednesday it took almost 1 to 2 hours, i know it passes because of experience, but i've never had it seven days in a row)
All together are some red flags. It could be that you're just not eating right/enough, our self perception of how much we eat isn't always accurate, but it could also be that you are having digestive problems, or some disease somewhere along the way is causing you to not properly absorb nutrients or something else along those lines. I'm not a doctor so I don't know what it could be, but if this stuff has been going on for over a week then it's probably the right move to go to a doctor and have them figure it out.
Okay, if those symptoms continue, i'll make an appointment.

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#25478

Post by Lakigigar » January 16th, 2019, 11:28 pm

I don't know what haemorrhoids are.

I have the pain again (abdominal cramps). It just doesn't seem to stop. I mean it's episodic, but it just doesn't stop. I tried to eat enough, but that doesn't seem to be the problem. I think that i eat a bit too much. It's definitely some digestive problems, which i didn't had before last week. For some reason, my body doesn't process the food i eat anymore properly. Since last wednesday, i have it almost at least once a day, especially a few hours after i've eaten. It makes me honestly afraid to eat even more.

The pain at times reminds me of my appendicitis (which i had 15 years ago). It's a bit different, but it was also kind of episodic, maybe a bit more severe at it's worst, but it was also some kind of pain that came and went, although much more frequently, a bit more severe, a bit longer-lasting (so more acute), and also less feeling full and more stabbing pain.

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#25479

Post by funkybusiness » January 17th, 2019, 12:11 am

hemorrhoids are little pouches on the immediate inside of your rectum. everyone has them but they become an issue when they become infected or inflamed, and they can move outside of the rectum and cause discomfort when sitting and/or defecating and they usually bleed. but it's not an abdominal issue, it's a rectum/anus issue.

like Peaceful, I am also not a doctor, so I wouldn't dare to diagnose you over the internet, but also like Peaceful, I think all of your symptoms together sound troubling. Definitely go to the doctor.

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#25480

Post by Lakigigar » January 17th, 2019, 12:24 am

yes, it's again over. it lasted for 30 minutes. And it's always over when i defecate (so it's probably digestive problems).

It's not hemorrhoids as far as i know, or actually i'm 100% certain about that.

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