US States (7/49)
01. Alabama
02. Alaska
03. Arizona
04. Arkansas
05. Colorado
06. Connecticut
07. Delaware
08. Florida - Death Curse of Tartu (1966) + Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959) + Terror from the Year 5000 (1958) +Blood Waters of Dr Z (1971) + Vernon Florida (1981)
09. Georgia
10. Hawaii
11. Idaho
12. Illinois
13. Indiana
14. Iowa
15. Kansas
16. Kentucky - Return of the Living Dead (1985) + Naughty Neighbors (1939) + Pilgrim Song (2012) + Our Day (1938)
17. Louisiana
18. Maine
19. Maryland
20. Massachusetts
21. Michigan
22. Minnesota - The Heartbreak Kid (1972) + A Serious Man (2009) + God's Country (1985)
23. Mississippi
24. Missouri
25. Montana
26. Nebraska - Boy's Town (1938) + Boys Don't Cry (1999) + Hex (1973)
27. Nevada
28. New Hampshire
29. New Jersey
30. New Mexico
31. New York - Woodstock (1970) + Oliver & Company (1988) + Manhattan (1979) + The Amityville Horror (1979) + Frankenhooker (1990) + Lonesome (1928) + Dressed to Kill (1980)
32. North Carolina
33. North Dakota
34. Ohio
35. Oklahoma
36. Oregon
37. Pennsylvania
38. Rhode Island
39. South Carolina
40. South Dakota
41. Tennessee
42. Texas
43. Utah
44. Vermont - Pressure Point (1997) + Super Troopers (2001) + Johnny Tsunami (1999)
45. Virginia
46. Washington - Benny and Joon (1993) + St. Helens (1981) + Gold Diggers: the Secret of Bear Mountain (1995) + Harry and the Hendersons (1987) + Century 21 Calling (1962) + Dante's Peak (1997)
47. West Virginia
48. Wisconsin
49. Wyoming - Heaven's Gate (1980) + The Nasty Rabbit (1964) + Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind (1977) + Brokeback Mountain (2005)
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US Territories (1/6)
01. American Samoa
02. District of Columbia - Earth Vs Flying Saucers (1956) + Being There (1979) + The Happy Hooker goes to Washington (1977)
03. Guam
04. Northern Mariana Islands
05. Puerto Rico
06. U.S. Virgin Islands
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Canada (0/13)
01. Alberta
02. British Columbia
03. Manitoba
04. New Brunswick
05. Newfoundland and Labrador
06. Northwest Territories
07. Nova Scotia
08. Nunavut
09. Ontario
10. Prince Edward Island
11. Quebec
12. Saskatchewan - Tideland (2005) + Space Milkshake (2012) + Why Shoot the Teacher? (1977) + Wolfcop (2014) + Alien Thunder (1974)
13. Yukon
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California Counties (1/58)
01. Alameda
02. Alpine
03. Amador
04. Butte
05. Calaveras
06. Colusa
07. Contra Costa
08. Del Norte
09. El Dorado
10. Fresno
11. Glenn
12. Humboldt
13. Imperial
14. Inyo
15. Kern
16. Kings
17. Lake
18. Lassen
19. Los Angeles
20. Madera
21. Marin
22. Mariposa
23. Mendocino
24. Merced
25. Modoc
26. Mono
27. Monterey
28. Napa
29. Nevada
30. Orange
31. Placer
32. Plumas
33. Riverside
34. Sacramento
35. San Benito
36. San Bernardino
37. San Diego
38. San Francisco
39. San Joaquin
40. San Luis Obispo
41. San Mateo - Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010) + San Francisco International Airport (1970) + Harold and Maude (1971)
42. Santa Barbara
43. Santa Clara
44. Santa Cruz
45. Shasta
46. Sierra
47. Siskiyou
48. Solano
49. Sonoma
50. Stanislaus
51. Sutter
52. Tehama
53. Trinity
54. Tulare
55. Tuolumne
56. Ventura - Char Man (2019)
57. Yolo
58. Yuba
Move over The Room, this is the best of the 21st century terrible movies. There’s just too much to love here: the way everyone says “solah panels”; the cringe inducing romance; the heavy use of gunfire on public roads with cars gleefully passing by in the background; the decisions to constantly go outside despite the onslaught of Birdemic. Of course the effects are unparalleled and really steal the show. You also can’t forget the endless scenes of parking! There’s also this weird overriding message of climate change and environmentalism in the film – that’s so pervasively thrown in – from signs on a wall, to “give peace a chance” shirts, to the characters actually seeing An Inconvenient Truth during this film. You can’t convince me that this was meant to be funny – its far too earnest and is in the same category as the director’s other film
Julie and Jack. It just remains a masterpiece of bad filmmaking.
San Francisco International Airport (1970)
Yes, the airport is actually located in San Mateo county. This was a sort of movie pilot for a television show – which eventually starred Lloyd Bridges as the omnipotent god of the airport. Seriously, the job of airport manager must require a lengthy resume of different talents – from hostage negotiator to emergency pilot. Of course the show was meant to be in the likes of other 70s public service career shows (such as Emergency!). For what it is, this is rather entertaining and makes me at least curious to check out the follow-up tv show. Im not sure what more could go wrong at an airport though – as though a hostage crisis, kid stealing a plane, and a hippy vs businessman encounter weren’t enough).
Harold and Maude (1971)
Its difficult to not love this movie or Ruth Gordon’s character. The advice given is no different than what I’ve heard from several therapists: its ok to make an ass out of yourself and to enjoy life to the fullest. So I’ll instead point out a fault. I don’t think the suicide humor is funny as it hits too close to home for me + it feels too mean spirited of an approach. It reminds me of the folks who jokingly say “goodbye cruel world.” But I did super enjoy the film – from its message to the great humor (such as all the interactions with authority figures). I just wish I could follow Maude’s advice better. Perhaps if I had someone like that in my life helping me daily then I’d be on a better trajectory. Otherwise you lose the message after a day or two and fall back into despair once again. But at least for a moment, there’s joy, and that’s about the best one can hope for.
Travelogue
Roadtrip with Huell Howser – Half Moon Bay
Host Huell makes the most of his layover by filming an episode before rushing back to the airport. Its a small farming town that’s now having to deal with the onslaught of tech assholes moving in. But there’s still a farm or two left in the community (though they force the migrant workers to use 1800s tools for some fucked up reason). There’s a memorable visit to a feed store – which is home to Duck-Duck the local duck. There’s an old fashioned grocery store; a place that sells pies; and a very plain church with two entrances (sex-segregated). Huell’s Roadtrip episodes are always entertaining and this is no exception.
Food
Pumpkin pancakes (in honor of the Half Moon Bay Art and Pumpkin Festival)
Activity
Our plush dog went surfing in the pool (in honor of the San Mateo County dog surfing contest)
Music
Powder
Keith Carradine
Phrase
According to Menlo-Atherton High School students, the term “woofin” is used as a verb to replace “joking” or “joshing.”
Map finds
Arroyo de los frijoles
Treadmill Outlet
Filoli Historic house & Garden
Odyssea outdoor activities and adventures
buncha reverends buried next to each other in Colma
Brochure Finds
Applebees – free appetizer
[ESC] – restaurant
Hula Hoops tiki bar
Colma Cemetery
computer history museum
surfing mohawk dog
list of convention facilities
Teambuilding unlimited
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08. New York
Woodstock (1970)
This wasn't a very good concert film, for one major issue: we didn't enjoy any of the performances! They're all mostly the sort of acoustic guitar folksy vocal-centric songs that make me hope the next tune will go better. On the other hand, the behind-the-scenes stuff is fascinating. It makes for incredible people watching - seeing all the hippies who showed up; who’s on what drugs, how they got along, etc. There was a fuckton of children there, which was surprising - given the prevalence of drug use. I'm also glad they got interviews with pissed locals - who were tired of all these youths coming to their town. Other highlights were: a windstorm which temporarily delays the concert; the announcer telling the crowd to be wary of bad acid going around; and an interview with the porta-potty cleaner guy. The best moment of Woodstock was during one of the performances - there was this triptych editing to it and, being high myself at the time, I rather escaped into the moment. This was interesting for the notoriety, but too bad the performances were so lackluster.
Oliver & Company (1988)
I get it, it's supposed to be Oliver Twist for a hip new audience. Dodger (the main dog) is Poochie from the Simpsons. Look how cool and relevant he is - as he effortlessly steals while singing about how great he is. Then to top it off - the setting is depressing - as they're all homeless and scrounging for things to steal - or the mob is going to break their owner's kneecaps. Plus it's oddly violent - with even a gun and hostage sequence. The worst part of all of this - is that it feels like Disney is simply trying to appeal to late 80s youth - with this corporate sanitized version of urban existence. There's a reason why we both couldn't remember a single thing about this movie.
Manhattan (1979)
This is simply Woody Allen's persona wrapped into a single film, even with the issues of dating someone underage... It's impressive to get to the very core of hating yourself, knowing all of your flaws, and then publishing them for all to see. But it's also a story of infatuations and fickleness - as the characters are constantly unsure of what they want in a spouse. I enjoyed the deeper conversations people had - about art or love or topics without any definite answer. There's part of me that wants to sit in a cafe with friends and have incredible and thoughtful conversations - so this film satisfied that inclination. There's also the way the film handles art culture / criticism - by turning it into a thesaurus battle of wits. The real highlight here though is seeing New York look look its most stunning.
The Amityville Horror (1979)
My parents left the movie theaters halfway through this film because they were too terrified. My partner insisted we be surrounded by our stuffed friends during this watch (as she grew up in an old house which was somewhat reminiscent). This haunted house story is unfortunately not quite as interesting / scary as the actual events that happened to the family (several incidents involved pigs). The events feel believable and their slow effect on making the family feel uneasy translates well to the audience. It's just disappointing that the film doesn't deliver in the final act. Instead it feels more like a religious family jumped to conclusions too quickly. But I still think this film is rather effective. It feels like a normal house and family - being terrorized by something beyond them. So the scares feel genuine and easy to take home with you.
Frankenhooker (1990)
A bargain basement scientist decides to rebuild his dead girlfriend by blowing up sex workers (with super-crack no-less) - to scavenge body parts and create some sort of ultimate babe. Once the Frankenhooker is created, she mostly just mugs at the camera and goes on a light rampage. It's all just an excuse to get gratuitous nudity and watch things explode. I get what this was trying to do, but it just doesn’t work. It's essentially the self-aware feel of a Troma movie, only without the excess weirdness. I never felt engaged with it + I never felt it deserved the humor it was trying to make. I'll give it some credit for the practical effects - but even those felt gross at times (with body parts fused together). It's just an unfunny mess.
Lonesome (1928)
Two folks meet at Coney Island and then proceed to go on every ride together, as they're apparently in love. I’ve been excited to see this for years, and upon finally watching it - it's a big disappointment! It's just this super shallow romance, as Jim follows Mary around like a fucking creep, and she just totally goes for it. We see her fend off several other men, so why is this one any different? The sound segments are few and far inbetween. They slow the whole film to a creak as they croak out some bad lines. And don't get me started on the ending - it's one of the worst I've seen in awhile (unless you really like the world's biggest coincidence). As annoyed as I was by most of the film, I still love seeing old timey amusement parks. So this film certainly delivers on that promise. There's just so little substance here, other than seeing people having fun at Coney Island. It also doesn’t help that the music “I’ll be in love with you AL-Ways” get tiring quick.
Dressed to Kill (1980)
There’s a lot to offend me here. There's even some bad portrayals of mental health thrown in. This movie has some serious transphobic issues going on – to its very core of existence. I wouldn't expect a graphically sexual, 80s exploitation American giallo to be praiseworthy for trans representation, but this is far too mean spirited. From treating the entire thing as a joke to including television segments with actual trans people - this film goes out of its way to be transphobic. I get it, De Palma wanted to ape Hitchcock - but he didn't have to put down an entire marginalized group to do so. I owned this twice on blu-ray - without having watched it first / known what was coming (I'm now promptly selling them). This is the worst praise I can give a film: it made me feel suicidal. So fuck this film.
Food
Nathan's Hot Dogs - had on Memorial Day with my parents. They tasted like your typical hot dog, perhaps with more fat content than I'm used to
Parma Pizza - One of of favorite pizza joints in town - has a New York slice - which is perfectly foldable, greasy, and delicious. We're most impressed by the quality of the pizza - as all the ingredients and the flavor tastes several notches above other pizzas. Parma has different styles of pizza - including the Detroiter (more on that when we do Michigan!) - and the sauce tastes different for each of the different styles. So while there may be more authentic New York slices out there (there's places that import their water from New York), Parma definitely satisfies one's pizza craving.
Travelogues
Mighty Manhattan, New York’s Wonder City (1949)
A rather exhausting tour of New York. It even includes the bowery for some reason. Things learned: most of the attractions are free to the public; the Central Park zoo's keepers carried guns to protect themselves from polar bears; there's an Egyptian obelisk in New York; Wall Street is where the northern terminus of a wall around town was; Ann Miller likes to visit the Starlight lounge.
RV Lifestyle - Adirondacks
Two retired travel writers vlog about their camping and visits to state parks. I felt like I was related to these two - as it was similar to my parent's stories about their travels.
Most Haunted - Conference House
House where Ben Franklin +John Adams tried to make a peace treaty. The crew encounter a mysterious swinging chandelier + hear the usual tapping sounds. Most notably is their encounter with a ball - which moves to different locations in the house + is seen rolling and bouncing on its own. Its quite the spooky episode! And yes, I have a penchant for ghost shows, its my guilty pleasure.
Amazon finds
New York Texas Toast Zesty Southwest Crunch chipotle Cheddar Tortilla Strips. WTF?!
I Cookie Heart cookies gallon bucket of cookies
Music
Listened to showtunes (as much as we could handle for 15 minutes). Also learned that
the state song of New York is disco!
Activity
Made a broadway musical about donuts with all of our stuffed friends
Phrases
Schmear - A lot of cream cheese, for example, “One bagel with schmear, please”
Thirstbucket - A really, really desperate person
Schlep: carry or drag. “I schlepped this package around all day, and now I’m exhausted.”
Agita - Heartburn from eating something.
Bodega - A small shop / grocery store where you go to get all your essential items, snacks and morning coffee.
Maps finds
The Egg theater in Albany
Beach with a bunch of washed up tires
Brochure
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz Museum
Corning Museum of Glass
Jell-o Gallery Museum, Leroy
Dolan DNA Learning Center
Cold Spring Harbor Whaling Museum
Museum of Sex, NYC
Boldt Castle, Alexandria Bay
Fun Fact
As allies of the British, the Iroquois were forced out of New York, although they had not been part of treaty negotiations. They resettled in Canada after the war and were given land grants by the Crown. In the treaty settlement, the British ceded most Indian lands to the new United States. Because New York made treaty with the Iroquois without getting Congressional approval, some of the land purchases have been subject to land claim suits since the late 20th century by the federally recognized tribes.
; which led to most Floridanos moving to Cuba.