The Horror of Dingo Studios
Imagine a German Asylum doing only shameless rip-offs of Disney's greatest hits of the 90s - of course simultaneously as the originals are released on VHS - but with the WORST drawing technique and even worse dubbing imaginable. Like, 1992 point-and-click adventure cutscenes animations. If you still remember the plots of their corresponding "inspirations" .. forget them, because Dingo Pictures likes to twist them around when they feel like it to incorporate more of their often recycled, completely unrelated trademark characters. All of the films are on YouTube in various dubs, memed and riffed mercilessly, and rarely show more than 5 checks on ICM. In fact, I didn't know of this phenomenon until recently and it seems like the world had forgotten Dingo until the mid-to-late-2010s.
Thanks to ICM user Nopros
for raising my attention, because this is just what I needed to kick off the challenge!
1. Aladin (Roswitha Haas, 1993)
The third movie named Aladin I have seen, after both of the Disney versions and, surprisingly, the absolutely worst. But compared to the other Dingo pictures I watched, it's pretty watchable. I mean, it's still bottom of the barrel stuff to keep pre-school kids entertained while they're waiting in a shoe shop for you; but the plot is straight-forward and comprehensible(!), the oriental atmosphere can be smelled and the flying carpet track is an actual sick tune. Also, people get called a Hundesohn
twice in this movie, a word that can be translated to a rustic son of a bitch
, which is an amazing choice for the target audience.
2. Dinosaur Adventure (Roswitha Haas, 2000)
Here's some Torgo trivia you probably haven't heard before: I spent most of my childhood with drawing. Between the age of 6 to 12 years, I managed to produce around 2000 pages of comics for a series which was
* obviously inspired by Disney's DuckTales comics that were a hit in Europe. (*Come on, I was a kid!) Since dinosaurs also were RAD during the early 90s, I chose to do my comic universe with dino figures instead of ducks (or mice).
Why is that relevant? Because I know how to draw a dinosaur. And Dingo obviously doesn't. It's ludicrous to see what they do to these majestic creatures, the tallest to ever walk the earth. Look at their noses. What the f? Since when did gorillas, ravens or antelopes live during that age? Ah, they were still available from other Dingo pictures, gotcha.
Apart from that, the story deals with the heavy topic of extinction in a sometimes shockingly brutal way. There's a plot development towards the end that had me more disturbed than anything from the October challenge. To rounds things off, Dingo incorporated a narrator bird who's sitting in an extremely awkward sexy way and who was used in another movie FOR NO REASON. Yee.
3. Pocahontas (Roswitha Haas, 1995)
Speaking of sexy: why did they make Poca (as she's called) that busty? Jesus! We also have a character, a native American, shot and bleeding to death (with visible blood!), sailors drinking themselves silly and some stereotype clown chars that are so racist that they make you check if the movie wasn't 60 years old. Additionally, sexy Poca isn't
the protagonist with the most screentime, but a highly annoying raccoonish schmuck. The whole thing must be the most disjointed so far, giving numerous Dingo stars of other movies a chance to shine - hyenas, an aristocat, a lion, whatever floats your boat, man! Pan flutes on the soundtrack? Check. What will leave any experienced viewer the most baffled is that they forgot to add the dubbing for a couple of situations in the film. They're already having maybe 5 active voice actors here and they just kind of forgot
. That's a new low among lows!
KIDDIE CORNERAND Was the Actual Disney [Pixar] Movie Better?
##. Toys: Das Geburtstagsgeschenk (Roswitha Haas, 1996)
(0,5/10) [29 minutes] 2.1
Ok, as you realized, everything so far actually had been from the kiddie corner, except no child (or other human of any age) should watch the aforementioned garbage. This piece of trash here lowers the bar by a margin. While many of the other pictures already appeared to be voiced in a style that makes them also passable as radio plays - I bet they sold audio cassettes of these - the studio probably was in a hurry with the release of the CGI Toy Story; so they decided to ditch all of their voicing regulars and just made one woman speak every
character. Feels a bit Russian/Eastern European, eh. (Shoutout to every lektor
who's doing this more honorably).
My brain wasn't available to process this beforehand, but somehow, Toys
is drawn even lazier than the notorious rest. Good thing, I almost was thinking it's Pixar! jk. The biggest difference would be how traumatizing this dark, short movie is, how annoying and terribly boring at the same time. Enough of them Dingos for tonight.
1. Aladin (1993)
2. Dinosaur Adventure (2000)
3. Pocahontas (1995)
##. Toys: Das Geburtstagsgeschenk (1996)
(0,5/10) [29 minutes] 2.1