While I remember the post so damn well, I had no idea it was this thread. So I've no remorse this has come up after some time. Especially now after we've had some sort of reckoning about something or another and the fact that people drift away. Even after my impassioned plea in another thread for others to not feel like they aren't good enough to post here, I've been struggling for at least a week trying to decide just how I feel about this forum right now. I've said I feel more connected to regular forum contributors than I do to my neighbors, but that doesn't mean at times it doesn't feel a bit co-dependent and I question what I want out of this "relationship."
Divorce is always an option.
For me the first post that took things to the negative was made by one of the forum's owners. I have to state, if we are concerned about tone, like everything in this world, the tone is set by those at the top of the pyramid. While I've tried my damnedest to be supportive over the intervening period, rereading that one message has filled me with a quiet, white-hot rage. I know no one wants to revisit the discussion that got so ugly, so I have one question to ask. (besides the question posed by Joachimt: "Do you really think such a user would be scared off by some "discussion" about TSZDT?" Hard to say, he may have had no interest other than getting an answer to his own question and at that time this was the only place he could get any answer? Or yeah, maybe 20 other possible explanations. It's probably way too late to find out now.)
I've decided I don't know exactly what I want to ask other than is there an understanding that we don't want this to happen again? If we don't, then how do we prevent it? And if Owners/Mods don't have enough time to keep up with the threads and users don't trust reporting posts, because certainly then and maybe now, why would I think reporting an owner's post would do anything but cause even more trouble?
IDK, I get why people drift away. It's hard work to communicate and no matter how hard you work at it, it's never going to be good enough. It's a movie forum. Why would anyone want to work this hard?
I know I've worked way too hard on this post and that's probably not good but I don't know what else to say or do when feeling so despondent after this accidental reminder of the forum's potential toxicity.
Again, if this is how people feel, is it any wonder ...
UGH!
