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The Off-Topic Lounge

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Re: The Off-Topic Lounge

#25121

Post by sebby » August 9th, 2018, 4:06 am

XxXApathy420XxX wrote:
August 8th, 2018, 8:17 pm
Lol the therapy I've been going to pretty much ditched me. I must have really creeped them out or something.
Aiiiii this is better than having a 28 year old therapist who doesn't know what the fuck she's doing and just repeats the same garbage with a terrified look on her face no matter what you speak about. Took me 5 months to find this one. Guess I need to start looking for a new one again. Maybe by January I'll have found someone competent.

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#25122

Post by xianjiro » August 9th, 2018, 3:17 pm

how do you mean 'ditched you'?

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#25123

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » August 9th, 2018, 4:11 pm

xianjiro wrote:
August 9th, 2018, 3:17 pm
how do you mean 'ditched you'?
Back in May I went in for an appointment. Someone else came and said that my therapist was not available and they forgot to call me to cancel it. Whatever, shit like this happens sometimes. The next week I decided to email her the day before to see if the appointment was still happening. There was no response.

Eventually I reached the supervisor. He said that she needed some time off work and will be available again mid-June and that she'll contact me by then. It was August and still no response, so I emailed both her and the supervisor asking if there was any progress. It's been a week and no response from either person.

Makes me wonder how terrible of a patient I was for them to practically tell me to fuck off.

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#25124

Post by PeacefulAnarchy » August 9th, 2018, 4:35 pm

Might not be you, she could have just had a breakdown because of another patient, or just a heavy workload. That kind of runaraound is fucked up and unacceptable though.

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#25125

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » August 9th, 2018, 4:59 pm

PeacefulAnarchy wrote:
August 9th, 2018, 4:35 pm
Might not be you, she could have just had a breakdown because of another patient, or just a heavy workload. That kind of runaraound is fucked up and unacceptable though.
I have considered that possibility. However, if that was the case, the supervisor would have said something.

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#25126

Post by PeacefulAnarchy » August 9th, 2018, 5:11 pm

I don't know, they might feel that showing that their counselors have notable weaknesses might make their patients uneasy. Of course this isn't much better.

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#25127

Post by xianjiro » August 9th, 2018, 6:20 pm

This is about them not being the best at all parts of their jobs and there are many variables at play which we can only speculate at. While it doesn't make it right, good, or acceptable to treat patients this way; it's not uncommon and probably more a function of things like understaffing. I'm pretty confident this doesn't have anything to do with you in the sense you describe. Certainly here, if a patient is 'bad', they are told that point blank, how it is they are failing (usually in not keeping reasonable goals in their treatment plan), and offered a route to show improvement in meeting the treatment goals. Most clinics also have those line in the sand scenarios which result in automatic discharge, but again, they need to inform the patient of that. Failure to do so would result in serious consequences with medical review boards, but also with insurance companies or possible legal action.

I won't tell you to be a patient patient. Start investigating other options and what you need to do to transfer care to another clinic. I know my insurance company also says they appreciate feedback which includes reporting rudeness - they also conduct an investigation into the complaint in an effort to find resolution. Maybe there is a patient advocate who can help?

But while I understand why you feel the way you do about this, I don't believe it is meant the way you describe.

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#25128

Post by serri » August 9th, 2018, 6:36 pm

there's a subset of therapists who exclusively treat therapists coping with the stress of their work, and the majority of therapists see them. obfuscation on this subject goes along with our culture's toxic ideas of professionalism. individuals labor and save to pay well-resourced experts to make them healthy and well. the fact that these experts are being made just as sick by their work as their patients undermines the validity of this model of care.

i was fortunate to attend group therapy led by someone who was willing to talk about it openly, and she was assisted by someone who talked about what being in-training was like. eventually i was in a step-down group with the same therapist who ended the group to go onto other things because of the negative impact the clinic was having on her, and her transparency was helpful to me in handling losing the group. unfortunately healthcare workers aren't in a good position to disregard what we have, but multiple people dropping communication is pretty dire. sorry you are dealing with this arthur.

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#25129

Post by Lammetje » August 12th, 2018, 7:55 pm

Gersh, why do you hate me and J-Dog? What have we ever done to you? :'(

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#25130

Post by Gershwin » August 12th, 2018, 9:17 pm

Hehe. On it!
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#25131

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » August 14th, 2018, 11:10 pm

Finally gonna take my first mood stabilizer medication tonight. Hopefully my mental health problems will finally be over.

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#25132

Post by xianjiro » August 15th, 2018, 2:07 am

:hug:

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#25133

Post by mightysparks » August 15th, 2018, 5:50 am

I got this in an email from uni today. Didn't even know this was a thing and I was a bit confused at first lol

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#25134

Post by maxwelldeux » August 15th, 2018, 5:53 am

mightysparks wrote:
August 15th, 2018, 5:50 am
I got this in an email from uni today. Didn't even know this was a thing and I was a bit confused at first lol
Awesome! Congrats! :cheers:

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#25135

Post by funkybusiness » August 15th, 2018, 6:39 am

:poshclap:

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#25136

Post by xianjiro » August 15th, 2018, 6:56 am

:thumbsup:

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#25137

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » August 18th, 2018, 10:47 pm

XxXApathy420XxX wrote:
August 14th, 2018, 11:10 pm
Finally gonna take my first mood stabilizer medication tonight. Hopefully my mental health problems will finally be over.
Just wrapped a cord around my neck and attached it to a pull-up bar. Couldn't do it though. Yea I don't think this medication is working out lol

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#25138

Post by RBG » August 18th, 2018, 10:49 pm

ARTHUR PLEASE CALL SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#25139

Post by RBG » August 18th, 2018, 10:55 pm

ARTHUR I'M FUCKING SERIOUS. DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE

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#25140

Post by funkybusiness » August 18th, 2018, 11:04 pm

SERIOUSLY CALL SOMEONE PLEASE

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#25141

Post by RBG » August 18th, 2018, 11:27 pm

he's ok i'm chatting him on discord

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#25142

Post by Knaldskalle » August 18th, 2018, 11:29 pm

RBG wrote:
August 18th, 2018, 11:27 pm
he's ok i'm chatting him on discord
Can you get hold of Zuma or Leopardi? They live in Ottawa as well and Zuma raced to his house last time Art was having a tough time.
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#25143

Post by Knaldskalle » August 18th, 2018, 11:35 pm

Art, please don't do anything stupid.

I just lost my dad yesterday, don't really need to lose someone I care about today.
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#25144

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » August 18th, 2018, 11:36 pm

Sorry guys. No one to call. Best I could do is see my family doctor Friday which I booked. This is a potential severe side effect of the new meds so I'm just gonna stop taking it.

Sorry to hear that knalds.

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#25145

Post by Knaldskalle » August 18th, 2018, 11:49 pm

XxXApathy420XxX wrote:
August 18th, 2018, 11:36 pm
Sorry guys. No one to call. Best I could do is see my family doctor Friday which I booked. This is a potential severe side effect of the new meds so I'm just gonna stop taking it.

Sorry to hear that knalds.
Don't worry about me, worry about yourself. You need to be really careful in the next few days and you need to stop yourself before you find yourself with a noose around your neck or similar dangerous situations.
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#25146

Post by 1859 » August 19th, 2018, 12:47 am

XxXApathy420XxX wrote:
August 14th, 2018, 11:10 pm
Hopefully my mental health problems will finally be over.
Isn't it like setting yourself to fail?

Meds are one thing, but you gotta learn to navigate through times like these anyways... It takes a loooooooooooot of practice, but it really gets easier to survive.

Try to develop an emergency plan if you haven't already. With therapist preferably I guess, but there's plenty of, often, quality advice out there as well.

/my condolences!

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#25147

Post by RBG » August 19th, 2018, 12:52 am

it's frustrating it's taking so long to get a good diagnosis. :/

we love you arthur :wub:

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#25148

Post by Gershwin » August 19th, 2018, 9:45 am

My condolences, Knalds. Must be especially hard losing a parent when you've been living so far apart.

Also, Art, please take care ...
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#25149

Post by bal3x » August 19th, 2018, 11:37 am

Sorry to hear about your loss, Knalds.

And, Art, please don't pull any of that shit, this forum really needs you! You have friends here, you should always remember that. Back to the bandwagon thread :)

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#25150

Post by xianjiro » August 20th, 2018, 6:28 pm

Art, Knalds - how you guys doing with your recent personal difficulties? :hug: Thinking of you both.

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#25151

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » August 20th, 2018, 6:40 pm

xianjiro wrote:
August 20th, 2018, 6:28 pm
Art, Knalds - how you guys doing with your recent personal difficulties? :hug: Thinking of you both.
Was ok yesterday but suicidal thoughts are back again today. Am also slowly becoming convinced that I may be Borderline. I don't wanna be that guy, but I'll mention it to my doctor and psychiatrist next time I see them.

I do at least know my purpose in life now. If I can't get a good social, romantic, and even working life, especially working life despite my education and experience, it's because I'm one of the rejects. If I was a more lower-tiered animal I would have been the baby that died. It's the only explanation for my failure in all areas. I'm sure people can sense that about me in dating, job interviews, etc. Staying alive is just a waste of time and resources at this point.

Sorry, but I think like this 24/7. Only reason why I almost never mention it is that it's never fun to talk about. Don't wanna make this forum a depressing place.

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#25152

Post by Lammetje » August 20th, 2018, 7:12 pm

But the thing is that failing in the areas you mentioned is not uncommon. As a result, the majority of people don't regard those who are less lucky/successful than themselves as losers or rejects or anything like that. I'm quite certain that most people prefer to be around nice and unsuccessful people over successful douchebags. I know I do.
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PeacefulAnarchy wrote:Active topics is the devil. Please use the forums and subforums as intended and peruse all the topics nicely sorted by topic, not just the currently popular ones displayed in a jumbled mess.
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#25153

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » August 20th, 2018, 7:24 pm

Lammetje wrote:
August 20th, 2018, 7:12 pm
But the thing is that failing in the areas you mentioned is not uncommon. As a result, the majority of people don't regard those who are less lucky/successful than themselves as losers or rejects or anything like that. I'm quite certain that most people prefer to be around nice and unsuccessful people over successful douchebags. I know I do.
At my age and the amount I'm in, yes... it is uncommon. The most I made is $16,000 when the median is $27,000. 4.7% of men my age are virgins. 18.5% still live at home. According to the guardian 10% of people in the UK do not have a close friend.

It's not the worst to be like that in one area, but in so many, that's a sure sign of failure.

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#25154

Post by xianjiro » August 20th, 2018, 7:25 pm

XxXApathy420XxX wrote:
August 20th, 2018, 6:40 pm
xianjiro wrote:
August 20th, 2018, 6:28 pm
Art, Knalds - how you guys doing with your recent personal difficulties? :hug: Thinking of you both.
Was ok yesterday but suicidal thoughts are back again today. Am also slowly becoming convinced that I may be Borderline. I don't wanna be that guy, but I'll mention it to my doctor and psychiatrist next time I see them.

I do at least know my purpose in life now. If I can't get a good social, romantic, and even working life, especially working life despite my education and experience, it's because I'm one of the rejects. If I was a more lower-tiered animal I would have been the baby that died. It's the only explanation for my failure in all areas. I'm sure people can sense that about me in dating, job interviews, etc. Staying alive is just a waste of time and resources at this point.

Sorry, but I think like this 24/7. Only reason why I almost never mention it is that it's never fun to talk about. Don't wanna make this forum a depressing place.
It's okay, Art. A number of us really do get it and have either dealt with it first or second hand. We want to be supportive and help if we can.

So does this mean you got past the scheduling difficulties with the clinic or got a new provider?

I think it's good that you discuss your concerns with your provider. Not sure how long your appointments are, but it certainly is worth talking about why you might or might not be this or that (borderline) AFTER you talk about the current issues with meds/suicidal ideation. But I caution you against self diagnosis given your current mental health issues. You really don't need to put anything else on yourself right now. Instead concentrate on getting one thing right each day - something that makes you feel good, happy, successful, positive, or the like. And allow yourself room to fail - it's okay, we all do. The key is to reevaluate and try again tomorrow in a way that will make success more likely.

It's also important to stop measuring yourself against the success of others and society at large. I have been single for about 25 years and that weighed very heavily on me for at least the first five - until my health got so bad and the opiods clouded my mind so much; I felt pretty much like you describe. I too find it hard to make new friends and struggled with that when I had to move about 15 years ago - the one person I felt comfortable with and felt like I was actually becoming good friends with (the only one in those 15 years) died in January. It was very unexpected and that's been painful, but I still try to get out now and then. Sometimes I come home and just feel horrible after hanging out with the guys since I just don't feel like I fit in very well. Other times, I enjoy myself. Somehow I just keep trying. But my good friends are limited to one and even that friendship has ups and downs.

I don't try to 'date' any more. I don't come across well on dating apps and frankly, I'd rather be on my own than in another bad relationship. One good thing is I have the dog - a very, very old dog - but it's not the same as a significant other. It just gives a rhythm to my life and we do go for very slow walks around the block together. She's also terribly interested in anything I'm eating. I'm not suggesting a pet is the right move for you, but something is. People are difficult, so is there something easier that you could try?

The other thing that strikes me is your feeling that you're not successful at work. I really wonder about that given all you've said. It might be hard to do the day-long grind right now, but that doesn't mean you won't be able to do it in the future. Again, this is something to work with your provider on and given where you're at right now, disability makes sense but it can be very hard to get in the US without the right help. (No idea about Canada.)

Hang in there and try smaller steps. For some people, just making it to their medical appointments is work enough for a given week. You don't have to live up to anyone else's expectations and your own seem pretty heavily dependant on social 'norms'. Step back and work out what's right for you, right now. Does that make any sense? Is it something that you think you could try? :huh:

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#25155

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » August 20th, 2018, 7:43 pm

I have a very old dog as well.

The problem with success at work is that I can't even find a job. I am applying for disability, but my psychiatrist doesn't think I should be on it, and she's the one that has to sign the paperwork. I had to quit my job due to my illness, but she said that just because I can't work at this job, doesn't mean I can't work at any job. Honestly, I don't think I can work until I'm fully medicated and possibly therapy which may not be an option for me anymore. In around 2.5 months I won't be able to afford my medication anymore too.

The thing about borderline is that apparently an effect it has is that it causes suicidal thoughts when you take mood stabilizers, so I would have to adjust my medication accordingly. This is the same problem that caused my bipolar diagnoses. It was because of a reaction to anti-depressants. The registered nurse practically yelled at me before, calling me an idiot for self-diagnosing but it turned out I was right all along.

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#25156

Post by RedHawk10 » August 20th, 2018, 7:51 pm

XxXApathy420XxX wrote:
August 20th, 2018, 6:40 pm
If I was a more lower-tiered animal I would have been the baby that died. It's the only explanation for my failure in all areas. I'm sure people can sense that about me in dating, job interviews, etc. Staying alive is just a waste of time and resources at this point.
Sounds like you're actively reinforcing an extremely negative mindset here. Have you tried CBT? My cousin used to suffer from extremely bad anxiety (he'd always be 100% convinced of these negative thoughts, despite them being completely irrational) and that genuinely worked wonders for him.

Hope things get better for you.
Last edited by RedHawk10 on August 20th, 2018, 8:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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#25157

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » August 20th, 2018, 7:54 pm

RedHawk10 wrote:
August 20th, 2018, 7:51 pm
XxXApathy420XxX wrote:
August 20th, 2018, 6:40 pm
If I was a more lower-tiered animal I would have been the baby that died. It's the only explanation for my failure in all areas. I'm sure people can sense that about me in dating, job interviews, etc. Staying alive is just a waste of time and resources at this point.
Sounds like you're actively reinforcing an extremely negative mindset here. Have you tried CBT? My cousin used to suffer from extremely bad anxiety (he'd always be 100% convinced of these negative thoughts, despite them being completely irrational) and that genuinely worked wonders for him.

Hope things get better for you.
I was doing it but it was the therapy that stopped appointments abruptly and stopped responding to my emails.

Bad timing too, I used their method to prove that I'm objectively undateable and they never got the chance to say why it was wrong (if it was).

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#25158

Post by RedHawk10 » August 20th, 2018, 8:05 pm

XxXApathy420XxX wrote:
August 20th, 2018, 7:54 pm
I was doing it but it was the therapy that stopped appointments abruptly and stopped responding to my emails.

Bad timing too, I used their method to prove that I'm objectively undateable and they never got the chance to say why it was wrong (if it was).
Trying to self-administer it might help in some way (just a suggestion, I'm not a doctor). From my cousin's experience, he'd see a therapist once a week and then use the techniques they taught him on his own. Basically stuff like identifying if the thought you are having is overly negative, if there is any usefulness to the negativity of the thought, if you would lose anything valuable by turning that negative thought into a positive one, and so on.

I'm not sure if it would help in your situation but I think from everything you've said recently...I mean, I think it's worth trying. There's lots of stuff online that talks about it and gives you examples of CBT techniques you could try.

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#25159

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » August 20th, 2018, 8:15 pm

RedHawk10 wrote:
August 20th, 2018, 8:05 pm
XxXApathy420XxX wrote:
August 20th, 2018, 7:54 pm
I was doing it but it was the therapy that stopped appointments abruptly and stopped responding to my emails.

Bad timing too, I used their method to prove that I'm objectively undateable and they never got the chance to say why it was wrong (if it was).
Trying to self-administer it might help in some way (just a suggestion, I'm not a doctor). From my cousin's experience, he'd see a therapist once a week and then use the techniques they taught him on his own. Basically stuff like identifying if the thought you are having is overly negative, if there is any usefulness to the negativity of the thought, if you would lose anything valuable by turning that negative thought into a positive one, and so on.

I'm not sure if it would help in your situation but I think from everything you've said recently...I mean, I think it's worth trying. There's lots of stuff online that talks about it and gives you examples of CBT techniques you could try.
The problem is that my failure in dating, having a social life, and work is my evidence as to why I'm a shitty person. CBT in my case would sound like being delusional. Being more positive despite everything.

I will admit that it did help in some areas, like me being convinced that everyone, especially women, find my very unattractive and creepy. The worst was when I thought two women coworkers and a boss were conspiring to get me fired because I was that unattractive and creepy.

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#25160

Post by xianjiro » August 20th, 2018, 8:25 pm

XxXApathy420XxX wrote:
August 20th, 2018, 7:43 pm

The problem with success at work is that I can't even find a job. I am applying for disability, but my psychiatrist doesn't think I should be on it, and she's the one that has to sign the paperwork. I had to quit my job due to my illness, but she said that just because I can't work at this job, doesn't mean I can't work at any job. Honestly, I don't think I can work until I'm fully medicated and possibly therapy which may not be an option for me anymore. In around 2.5 months I won't be able to afford my medication anymore too.
Sounds similar. Technically, if there is any job anywhere in the economy that the disabled person could do, then they are to be disqualified from disability. Luckily lawyers are able to argue rings around that. But it's still tough to qualify.

I wonder if your provider is thinking that medical intervention needs sufficient time to work. Again, my understanding is, an application made too early on is denied as is one if only one form of treatment was tried. I know, it sucks, but as you say, the psychiatrist is the one who has to sign the paperwork and I know here the doctor's signature is really key to everything disability related.

Listen, Daddy. Teacher says, 'every time a car alarm bleeps, into heaven a demon sneaks.'
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