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#321

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » September 30th, 2016, 1:48 am

Out of curiousity, what tends to be the usual reaction that you guys get when people find out that you're lgbt? Every time I tell someone, it's either complete shock or denial. The last reaction I got, she still says that she doesn't me. I guess that's what happens when you're not falling under the lgbt stereotype? It can get quite annoying.
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#322

Post by Cocoa » September 30th, 2016, 2:05 am

Ettinauer226XL on Sep 29 2016, 07:48:32 PM wrote:Out of curiousity, what tends to be the usual reaction that you guys get when people find out that you're lgbt? Every time I tell someone, it's either complete shock or denial. The last reaction I got, she still says that she doesn't me. I guess that's what happens when you're not falling under the lgbt stereotype? It can get quite annoying.
People usually don't produce a huge reaction when they learn about me. They simply accept it... and sometimes I get asked sexual questions immediately afterwards :lol: I assume it's a cultural thing.

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#323

Post by xianjiro » September 30th, 2016, 3:22 am

Ettinauer226XL on Sep 29 2016, 07:48:32 PM wrote:Out of curiousity, what tends to be the usual reaction that you guys get when people find out that you're lgbt? Every time I tell someone, it's either complete shock or denial. The last reaction I got, she still says that she doesn't me. I guess that's what happens when you're not falling under the lgbt stereotype? It can get quite annoying.
Can't say anyone's reacted much one way or the other in years. But then again, I don't exactly broadcast and I think people are too polite to ask here.

More often is the assumption that I'm straight - straight privilege. Since I'm actually pretty private, I have to have a good reason to tell other people and most are people I might talk to once or twice, or more, like when walking the dog; these people I don't tell anything and they don't ask.

And for the people I've had reason to tell, there just is an acceptance and the conversation moves on.

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#324

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » September 30th, 2016, 3:29 am

Oh yea I'm not exactly completely open about it, but if they ask me stuff like if I have a girlfriend or what type of women I'm into, I just tell them I'm gay.

But then again the last woman that I've mentioned it to not only refuses to believe me, but also says that I should try being with a woman "just to give it a chance and see how it is". Now I'm definitely not the best person for stuff like this but I feel like those are one of the few subtle signs of interest or something like that.
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#325

Post by RBG » September 30th, 2016, 3:39 am

Ettinauer226XL on Sep 29 2016, 09:29:48 PM wrote:Oh yea I'm not exactly completely open about it, but if they ask me stuff like if I have a girlfriend or what type of women I'm into, I just tell them I'm gay.

But then again the last woman that I've mentioned it to not only refuses to believe me, but also says that I should try being with a woman "just to give it a chance and see how it is". Now I'm definitely not the best person for stuff like this but I feel like those are one of the few subtle signs of interest or something like that.
LOL

oh sry i prolly shouldn't be reading this thread i shall butt out :whistling: altho i had a gay boyfriend once. but i didn't find out til years later :teehee:

stay strong arthur! :thumbsup: at least women, unlike some men, can usually take no for an answer
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#326

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » September 30th, 2016, 3:48 am

I think the A in the thread's acronym means allies so you're probably ok being here :P

It's just, it is quite frustrating. I am slowly trying to improve myself, and I guess it's working? It just looks like it's towards the wrong target audience. I still become a fucking mess if there's a really cute gay guy that I have to talk to, like when I was buying something in a cosmetics store today. Way too nervous so I'll be quiet and even stuttering, it's pretty shitty.

Tbh sometimes I have that feeling that I should give a woman a chance, cause I do get the odd girl crush once in a while (and my most intense celeb crush is probably a woman) but I know that that's gonna be a disaster.
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#327

Post by xianjiro » September 30th, 2016, 3:52 am

Ettinauer226XL on Sep 29 2016, 09:29:48 PM wrote:Oh yea I'm not exactly completely open about it, but if they ask me stuff like if I have a girlfriend or what type of women I'm into, I just tell them I'm gay.

But then again the last woman that I've mentioned it to not only refuses to believe me, but also says that I should try being with a woman "just to give it a chance and see how it is". Now I'm definitely not the best person for stuff like this but I feel like those are one of the few subtle signs of interest or something like that.
yeah, I'd say it sounds like a bit of a crush - or this chick is one who has a personal mission to convert gay guys - knew of a woman like that back in my college days, lucky for me, I wasn't on her radar

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#328

Post by xianjiro » September 30th, 2016, 3:57 am

Ettinauer226XL on Sep 29 2016, 09:48:09 PM wrote:I think the A in the thread's acronym means allies so you're probably ok being here :P

It's just, it is quite frustrating. I am slowly trying to improve myself, and I guess it's working? It just looks like it's towards the wrong target audience. I still become a fucking mess if there's a really cute gay guy that I have to talk to, like when I was buying something in a cosmetics store today. Way too nervous so I'll be quiet and even stuttering, it's pretty shitty.

Tbh sometimes I have that feeling that I should give a woman a chance, cause I do get the odd girl crush once in a while (and my most intense celeb crush is probably a woman) but I know that that's gonna be a disaster.
it's not like orientation is set in stone - if you enjoy someone's company, spend time together, but try not to worry about it.

wish being around a cute gay guy didn't make you feel so nervous though

last, sure, a can stand for allies, but also autosexuals, asexuals, and abstinents - wha'dI forget?

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#329

Post by RBG » September 30th, 2016, 3:59 am

ambisexuals ^_^

i had to look up autosexuals, i thought it might be like in that movie crash. it wasn't
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#330

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » September 30th, 2016, 4:04 am

xianjiro on Sep 29 2016, 09:57:05 PM wrote:
Ettinauer226XL on Sep 29 2016, 09:48:09 PM wrote:I think the A in the thread's acronym means allies so you're probably ok being here :P

It's just, it is quite frustrating. I am slowly trying to improve myself, and I guess it's working? It just looks like it's towards the wrong target audience. I still become a fucking mess if there's a really cute gay guy that I have to talk to, like when I was buying something in a cosmetics store today. Way too nervous so I'll be quiet and even stuttering, it's pretty shitty.

Tbh sometimes I have that feeling that I should give a woman a chance, cause I do get the odd girl crush once in a while (and my most intense celeb crush is probably a woman) but I know that that's gonna be a disaster.
it's not like orientation is set in stone - if you enjoy someone's company, spend time together, but try not to worry about it.

wish being around a cute gay guy didn't make you feel so nervous though

last, sure, a can stand for allies, but also autosexuals, asexuals, and abstinents - wha'dI forget?
Dating is ok. I would be nervous to the point of shaking before it, but the second the date starts all the nerves are gone. Probably cause the first date is usually so awkward that it actually feels more like a job interview or something like that. I haven't been on a date in quite a few months though, online dating activity screeched to a halt when I realized that the dating pools are not that large here.

And yea, if you wanna go all technical, I guess I would call myself a bi-romantic homosexual, but calling myself gay makes things easier.

And man oh man that film Crash :satstunned: although it is a masterpiece.
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#331

Post by albajos » September 30th, 2016, 5:26 am

In Norway, they call it LGBTI and doesn't focus on any other group, so the problem isn't to be recognized by my friends, but by the society. (I'm A)

As soon as we are actually discussed in sex ed. and newspapers doesn't talk like it's a sensation every time, then it will also be easier to come forward to people which aren't my friends.

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#332

Post by mightysparks » September 30th, 2016, 6:09 am

This is like the opposite thing, but people are actually shocked when they find out I'm straight :lol: Everyone assumes I'm asexual or a lesbian since I wear daggy male/unisex clothes and don't visibly show interest in people or flirt. My friends thought I was asexual and didn't believe me when I said I was straight up until a few months ago.
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#333

Post by xianjiro » September 30th, 2016, 7:48 am

well, our goal here is to welcome anyone who doesn't feel sexually normative, so it's all good

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#334

Post by nimimerkillinen » October 1st, 2016, 12:13 pm

Ettinauer226XL on Sep 29 2016, 07:48:32 PM wrote:Out of curiousity, what tends to be the usual reaction that you guys get when people find out that you're lgbt? Every time I tell someone, it's either complete shock or denial. The last reaction I got, she still says that she doesn't me. I guess that's what happens when you're not falling under the lgbt stereotype? It can get quite annoying.
i don't tell i'm bi but if someone would ask then ye, but no one asks

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#335

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » November 24th, 2016, 7:12 pm

Yea... I'm questioning again, all thanks to weed. I guess drugs are bad for you after all.
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#336

Post by Gershwin » November 24th, 2016, 9:28 pm

So weed heals homosexuality? Mike Pence will have to make some devilish choices during his administration then!

More serious: like, you've been wondering for weeks now? Or just had thoughts about it for a few hours? I'm only an ally without any experience, but my gut feeling would be: just wait how you feel after a few months, don't bother too much about your feelings, and don't rationalize too much. Sexuality isn't completely rational. :)
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#337

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » November 24th, 2016, 9:58 pm

No it's been years. Always was into guys, just dunno if it's exclusive or not. I also always had a romantic attraction for women, but never sexual. Not gonna go into detail cause fuck long and personal rants, but I had these thoughts when I was high, and a few days ago something happened (not in real life, just saw something) and it made me realize that maybe I do have a sexual attraction for women as well.
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#338

Post by Gershwin » November 24th, 2016, 11:01 pm

Well, last time I mixed up weed and sexuality I woke up the next morning next to a girl who I didn't by any means find attractive when I was sober. Not sure whether that's representative, but keep in mind you're not very objective, also emotionally, whenever you've just been smoking weed.
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#339

Post by xianjiro » November 24th, 2016, 11:02 pm

Ettinauer226XL on Nov 24 2016, 02:58:41 PM wrote:No it's been years. Always was into guys, just dunno if it's exclusive or not. I also always had a romantic attraction for women, but never sexual. Not gonna go into detail cause fuck long and personal rants, but I had these thoughts when I was high, and a few days ago something happened (not in real life, just saw something) and it made me realize that maybe I do have a sexual attraction for women as well.
being bi is cool too! :) It's not like you have to commit to one tribe or another. Enjoy!

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#340

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » November 24th, 2016, 11:16 pm

After my uhh most recent illegal, introspective, and psychedelic journey, it helped me decide that if I do enter into the casual sex/hookup culture, that I would try it with a woman to see if I do have a sexual attraction. I didn't wanna go into a relationship first or have my first time with a woman, cause if it backfires (especially if it's a relationship) and I realize that there's no sexual attraction, that's going to be extremely depressing and heartbreaking for both parties.

But after that incident, I really dunno... seems like I already might have that attraction to women. Looking at it in sober eyes, I still dunno. Not really turned on, but it seems like, fun in a way? It's confusing. My thirst for men is still real and dehydrating as fuck though.

It's just, if I am bi, this is gonna piss me off so much. It reached the point where my inexperience has more red flags than a communist parade, and I have rejected a handful of women in the past by telling them I'm gay.
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#341

Post by Jay Mars » December 15th, 2016, 5:46 am

Arthur, you're thinking about it too much. Just do what you want and you'll figure it out along the way. Trust me, you've got plenty of time and there's no schedule you need to be on.

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#342

Post by XxXApathy420XxX » December 15th, 2016, 6:12 am

Don't worry Jay Mars I figured it out! :) pursuing anything related to this is not worth the stress. I've chosen to stay single indefinitely. Better to just not try/not care/give up and focus on other aspects in life.
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#343

Post by xianjiro » March 5th, 2017, 10:38 am

so, now that we are nominating films for Doubling the Canon, I'm wondering what people think would be the ten PAAIQQTBGL (decided to let the pan community go first this time) movies should be included.

Ideas? Suggestions?

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#344

Post by albajos » March 5th, 2017, 10:52 am

Well, speaking of Pan. There are really many of those letters that dont have any movies at all, expect for maybe a few documentaries.

I only added Transamerica, which is in no official lists. Can't really think of others that isn't in a list already.

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#345

Post by jvv » March 5th, 2017, 11:13 am

albajos on Mar 5 2017, 03:52:23 AM wrote:Well, speaking of Pan. There are really many of those letters that dont have any movies at all, expect for maybe a few documentaries.

I only added Transamerica, which is in no official lists. Can't really think of others that isn't in a list already.
Doubt enough people have seen it to get in, but:

https://www.icheckmovies.com/movies/i+am+a+woman+now/

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#346

Post by xianjiro » March 5th, 2017, 1:21 pm

jvv on Mar 5 2017, 04:13:20 AM wrote:
albajos on Mar 5 2017, 03:52:23 AM wrote:Well, speaking of Pan. There are really many of those letters that dont have any movies at all, expect for maybe a few documentaries.

I only added Transamerica, which is in no official lists. Can't really think of others that isn't in a list already.
Doubt enough people have seen it to get in, but:

https://www.icheckmovies.com/movies/i+am+a+woman+now/
have had that on my watchlist so went ahead and placed an interlibrary loan for it - not sure if I'll be able to get it, but - we need a fingers crossed emoji!

thanks for the reminder!

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#347

Post by Coco LaBerge » March 5th, 2017, 7:30 pm

How about The Way He Looks/Hoje Eu Quero Voltar Sozinho (2014)? https://www.icheckmovies.com/movies/hoj ... r+sozinho/

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#348

Post by jvv » March 5th, 2017, 8:47 pm

Another one that isn't on any lists:

https://www.icheckmovies.com/movies/no+ ... s+a+nadie/

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#349

Post by Local Hero -- aka MestnyiGeroi » March 5th, 2017, 9:27 pm

I'm sure I'm mentioning a film that has already been discussed on here, but a couple of weeks ago I saw Lan Yu and I was pleasantly surprised. First, I was impressed by the film's restraint and subtlety. It's a film about homosexuality and it isn't. It treats gayness as the elephant in the room that no one mentions, but also as something that does not need mentioning in many ways. Second, it's a shockingly subversive film -- don't know how it got made in China! As if the topic weren't taboo enough in China already, the film slyly links open gayness with resistance to the government -- even alluding to Tiananmen Square!! -- making an interesting parallel between living a sexually closted life and blindly acquiescing to a system of corruption and oppression. And all of this is done, as I say, subtly. I didn't care for the very ending of the film, but in general this was a nice surprise!

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#350

Post by AdamH » March 6th, 2017, 1:37 am

Local Hero -- aka MestnyiGeroi on Mar 5 2017, 02:27:10 PM wrote:I'm sure I'm mentioning a film that has already been discussed on here, but a couple of weeks ago I saw Lan Yu and I was pleasantly surprised. First, I was impressed by the film's restraint and subtlety. It's a film about homosexuality and it isn't. It treats gayness as the elephant in the room that no one mentions, but also as something that does not need mentioning in many ways. Second, it's a shockingly subversive film -- don't know how it got made in China! As if the topic weren't taboo enough in China already, the film slyly links open gayness with resistance to the government -- even alluding to Tiananmen Square!! -- making an interesting parallel between living a sexually closted life and blindly acquiescing to a system of corruption and oppression. And all of this is done, as I say, subtly. I didn't care for the very ending of the film, but in general this was a nice surprise!
Sounds good. Nice to see you back posting again. :thumbsup:

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#351

Post by xianjiro » March 6th, 2017, 2:39 am

so glad I asked the question - have seen Lan Yu and gave it an 8 but alas, don't recall it so have ordered it to watch it again. Also have requested The Way He Looks/Hoje Eu Quero Voltar Sozinho. No se lo digas a nadie isn't available locally, so will consider it when my next interlibrary loan slot opens.

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#352

Post by Local Hero -- aka MestnyiGeroi » March 6th, 2017, 4:01 am

AdamH on Mar 5 2017, 06:37:10 PM wrote:
Local Hero -- aka MestnyiGeroi on Mar 5 2017, 02:27:10 PM wrote:I'm sure I'm mentioning a film that has already been discussed on here, but a couple of weeks ago I saw Lan Yu and I was pleasantly surprised. First, I was impressed by the film's restraint and subtlety. It's a film about homosexuality and it isn't. It treats gayness as the elephant in the room that no one mentions, but also as something that does not need mentioning in many ways. Second, it's a shockingly subversive film -- don't know how it got made in China! As if the topic weren't taboo enough in China already, the film slyly links open gayness with resistance to the government -- even alluding to Tiananmen Square!! -- making an interesting parallel between living a sexually closted life and blindly acquiescing to a system of corruption and oppression. And all of this is done, as I say, subtly. I didn't care for the very ending of the film, but in general this was a nice surprise!
Sounds good. Nice to see you back posting again. :thumbsup:
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#353

Post by HVM » March 6th, 2017, 12:35 pm

xianjiro on Mar 5 2017, 07:39:43 PM wrote:so glad I asked the question - have seen Lan Yu and gave it an 8 but alas, don't recall it so have ordered it to watch it again. Also have requested The Way He Looks/Hoje Eu Quero Voltar Sozinho. No se lo digas a nadie isn't available locally, so will consider it when my next interlibrary loan slot opens.
I can put it on WT if you want.
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#354

Post by xianjiro » March 6th, 2017, 12:40 pm

HVM on Mar 6 2017, 05:35:36 AM wrote:
xianjiro on Mar 5 2017, 07:39:43 PM wrote:so glad I asked the question - have seen Lan Yu and gave it an 8 but alas, don't recall it so have ordered it to watch it again. Also have requested The Way He Looks/Hoje Eu Quero Voltar Sozinho. No se lo digas a nadie isn't available locally, so will consider it when my next interlibrary loan slot opens.
I can put it on WT if you want.
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#355

Post by HVM » March 6th, 2017, 2:23 pm

It's in the usual location.

Cheers to jvv who shared it originally.
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#356

Post by xianjiro » March 8th, 2017, 7:59 pm

Well, "I am a woman now" isn't available through the libraries, so no luck there. :(

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#357

Post by jvv » March 8th, 2017, 8:57 pm

xianjiro on Mar 8 2017, 12:59:59 PM wrote:Well, "I am a woman now" isn't available through the libraries, so no luck there. :(
Try looking in a certain place. ;)

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#358

Post by albajos » March 31st, 2017, 10:37 am

Today is the International Transgender Day of Visibility.

Some movies (that focuses on medical/surgical change) that may fit the official challenges
Breasts: A Documentary (1996) - Female director
The Christine Jorgensen Story (1970) - Cult/Grindhouse/Drive-in
The Dog (2013) - Female director
Dog Day Afternoon (1975) - Cult/Grindhouse/Drive-in
Glen or Glenda (1953) - Cult/Grindhouse/Drive-in
Let Me Die a Woman (1977) - Cult/Grindhouse/Drive-in and - Female director
Orlando (1992) ...sort of - Female director
Private Dicks: Men Exposed (1999) - Female director

Only in the OUT challenge:
Beautiful Boxer (2004)
The Danish Girl (2015)
Laurence Anyways (2012)
Transamerica (2005)

There is a lot more movies/documentaries about transexuality, but maybe not too many that fit the challenges:
Ed Wood (1994) - Cult/Grindhouse/Drive-in
Pink Flamingos (1972) - Cult/Grindhouse/Drive-in


Suggestions?
Last edited by albajos on March 31st, 2017, 11:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Cynical Cinephile
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#359

Post by Cynical Cinephile » March 31st, 2017, 10:58 am

Laurence Anyways is very good. I don't know if it fits any challenge.

There's also Boys Don't Cry, but I didn't like that one nearly as much.
The truth is you're Donny, and I'm Walter. But I'm tryin', Ringo, I'm tryin' real hard to be The Dude.

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monty
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#360

Post by monty » March 31st, 2017, 10:59 am

If you're doing Dog Day Afternoon, you're going to have to watch the documentary The Dog (2013), too.
Last edited by monty on March 31st, 2017, 11:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

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