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The Breakup Parlour

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cinephage
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#41

Post by cinephage »

I think ghosting is a terrible behaviour, and I wouldn't want to have anything to do with someone who can behave in this manner.

Breaking up is a difficult thing, but I feel you owe it to yourself to behave in an honorable fashion. Things don't work between you and the other one, well, that's not someone's fault, these things are not something you control, and not really something you decide either. You didn't feel the alchemy, that's too bad, just let the other know and both can move on to look for someone else.

In that light, however awful ghosting feels to me, when that happens to me I feel grateful : finding out right away about the other person's being an asshole saves me the pain of finding that out later on, at a bigger cost.

I didn't date for long, really, mostly when I broke up with my wife. I needed to find out whether someone else could find an interest in me, as I felt so down I thought I couldn't interest anyone anymore... Too old, too fat, too ugly, too involved in movie watching, you name it... But as xianjiro said, "people are so different, emotional reactions are so unpredictable, so just about anything can happen given the infinite number of pairings possible". I found that out to be true, I found people that I liked, others that liked me, this really boosted me up.
I didn't take dating game as a job interview, rather as a game, you sometimes play games with total strangers, some you dislike, some you appreciate, and sometimes even befriend. I tried to make it fun for me at least as much as for the other person. It didn't always work out, but it was always interesting, sometimes a little awkward, funny or scary, I surprised myself.

Still, I really prefer building relationships, and I am now in one. As for dogs, my breed is the PBGV (Petit Basset Griffon Vendéen), a breed from the place I always go to for vacation. I had 2 of those before, loved both deeply, and am picking a cub in a few days, called Saruman (Saru for friends). I am really impatient to meet the little guy in person.
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Lammetje
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#42

Post by Lammetje »

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xianjiro
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#43

Post by xianjiro »

:thumbsup: cool, @cinephage!
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peeptoad
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#44

Post by peeptoad »

cinephage wrote: June 16th, 2021, 11:04 pm In that light, however awful ghosting feels to me, when that happens to me I feel grateful : finding out right away about the other person's being an asshole saves me the pain of finding that out later on, at a bigger cost.
This. I thought of this directly after the 2nd guy ghosted me... if there are communication problems before you even meet the other person, then who knows how that might negatively impact things in the future. And I'm a stickler for good communication skills because poor or lack thereof is the root cause of so many problems, both dating and etc. WORK I'm looking at you! :angry:
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