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Remake it this way, OR ELSE!

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xianjiro
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Remake it this way, OR ELSE!

#1

Post by xianjiro » November 16th, 2017, 8:52 pm

In the spirit of Change 1 Letter and Combine Two films, I bring you the chance to offer a way to remake a film (or several) in a fun new way.

Yes, we know most people hate remakes, but what fun way could a movie be redone?

For example, The Revenge of Frankenstein should be remade with Arnold Schwarzenegger starring as Baron vF. As he's standing on the gallows, imagine what his last words would be!
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Listen, Daddy. Teacher says, 'every time a car alarm bleeps, into heaven a demon sneaks.'
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3eyes
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#2

Post by 3eyes » November 17th, 2017, 2:25 am

Can we do it backwards?

Kind Hearts and Coronets - remake of a silent movie with Boris Karloff as the murderer, Greta Garbo as Sybilla and Lon Chaney as the 8 relatives.
:run: STILL the Gaffer!

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#3

Post by maxwelldeux » November 17th, 2017, 3:24 am

I've love to see Titanic remade in Lars von Trier's style from Dogville (2003). Mostly because I would really dig seeing that scene near the end with Rose inside of a chalk rectangle on the floor, and Jack laying outside of it.

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#4

Post by xianjiro » November 17th, 2017, 6:15 am

could someone drop something on Jack - say, a ton of bricks? - to simulate him going under water?

btw, first time I saw that scene I lmao

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#5

Post by maxwelldeux » November 17th, 2017, 8:36 am

xianjiro on Nov 16 2017, 11:15:15 PM wrote:could someone drop something on Jack - say, a ton of bricks? - to simulate him going under water?

btw, first time I saw that scene I lmao
Bricks would work. Could also just have von Trier walk out in frame and use a squirt gun to spray water on Jack. :mw_confused:

One of my favorites in this vein (can't take credit for it - read on the interwebs a while back) is to remake Twilight, but cast Kanye West as Edward Cullen, and refuse to give him a script, so he just walks around on set trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

Or remake Air Bud, but cast Shaquille Oneal as the dog. Shaq talks and behaves as himself, but no one acknowledges that he's not a dog. Even when he dominates basketball, no one expects it, prompting Shaq to begin an epic profanity-laced tirade that had the censors taking out their bottles of whiskey...

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#6

Post by xianjiro » November 18th, 2017, 12:13 am

What about a Rocky remake with Jerry Lewis (or Adam Sandler) starring?

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#7

Post by 3eyes » April 20th, 2018, 11:14 pm

I'm not sufficiently clueful about present-day Hollywood to do this, but how about Hollywood remakes of things like

Det sjunde inseglet
Jeux interdits
Ladri di biciclette
La strada
Ugetsu monogatari
Ningen no jôken
Hiroshima mon amour
Andrey Rublev
Die Blechtrommel
Aguirre, der Zorn Gottes
Le fantôme de la liberté
:run: STILL the Gaffer!

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#8

Post by xianjiro » April 21st, 2018, 12:04 am

3eyes on Apr 20 2018, 05:14:56 PM wrote:I'm not sufficiently clueful about present-day Hollywood to do this, but how about Hollywood remakes of things like

Det sjunde inseglet
Jeux interdits
Ladri di biciclette
La strada
Ugetsu monogatari
Ningen no jôken
Hiroshima mon amour
Andrey Rublev
Die Blechtrommel
Aguirre, der Zorn Gottes
Le fantôme de la liberté
only if they include superheroes! ^_^

Listen, Daddy. Teacher says, 'every time a car alarm bleeps, into heaven a demon sneaks.'
sol can find me here

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#9

Post by xianjiro » April 10th, 2020, 7:51 pm

Yesterday I was thinking about Godard doing a French remake of The Godfather (probably all three parts mixed together in his inimitable way). I see Gérard Depardieu as Don Coeur de Lion and maybe Catherine Deneuve as his wife (think she's Mama Corleone in IMDb's credits). How about Christoph Waltz as Tom Hagen (consigliere)?

And other casting ideas? Most should be French though...

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#10

Post by PGonzalez » April 10th, 2020, 8:57 pm

xianjiro wrote:
April 10th, 2020, 7:51 pm
Yesterday I was thinking about Godard doing a French remake of The Godfather (probably all three parts mixed together in his inimitable way). I see Gérard Depardieu as Don Coeur de Lion and maybe Catherine Deneuve as his wife (think she's Mama Corleone in IMDb's credits). How about Christoph Waltz as Tom Hagen (consigliere)?

And other casting ideas? Most should be French though...
Sonny would be played by James Caan himself, but only via stills of his performance in the original movie. His lines would be accompanied by Schumann's Dichterliebe, and his death scene would have the camera slowly zoom out from small details of a behind-the-scenes photo of his bullet-ridden body. The gunshot sounds would be made/spoken by Godard himself.

On a more serious note, I'd love to see Costa attempt an updated version of Ulmer's The Black Cat.

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#11

Post by St. Gloede » April 10th, 2020, 9:08 pm

After I saw Godard's King Lear, I always wanted him to take on another cultural phenomenon, and while his hate is usually aimed at Spielberg I cannot think of anything better for him to remake than Star Wars.

Jean-Luc Godard presents Star Wars (he probably hasn't even seen the films, and he would likely not watch them in preparation either (l) )

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#12

Post by xianjiro » April 10th, 2020, 11:59 pm

PGonzalez wrote:
April 10th, 2020, 8:57 pm
xianjiro wrote:
April 10th, 2020, 7:51 pm
Yesterday I was thinking about Godard doing a French remake of The Godfather (probably all three parts mixed together in his inimitable way). I see Gérard Depardieu as Don Coeur de Lion and maybe Catherine Deneuve as his wife (think she's Mama Corleone in IMDb's credits). How about Christoph Waltz as Tom Hagen (consigliere)?

And other casting ideas? Most should be French though...
Sonny would be played by James Caan himself, but only via stills of his performance in the original movie. His lines would be accompanied by Schumann's Dichterliebe, and his death scene would have the camera slowly zoom out from small details of a behind-the-scenes photo of his bullet-ridden body. The gunshot sounds would be made/spoken by Godard himself.

On a more serious note, I'd love to see Costa attempt an updated version of Ulmer's The Black Cat.
I love it! :thumbsup:

Listen, Daddy. Teacher says, 'every time a car alarm bleeps, into heaven a demon sneaks.'
sol can find me here

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#13

Post by xianjiro » April 11th, 2020, 12:01 am

St. Gloede wrote:
April 10th, 2020, 9:08 pm
After I saw Godard's King Lear, I always wanted him to take on another cultural phenomenon, and while his hate is usually aimed at Spielberg I cannot think of anything better for him to remake than Star Wars.

Jean-Luc Godard presents Star Wars (he probably hasn't even seen the films, and he would likely not watch them in preparation either (l) )
Now that's a fantastic suggestion - wonder what stills or video clips he'd use to represent The Evil Galactic Empire :woot:

Listen, Daddy. Teacher says, 'every time a car alarm bleeps, into heaven a demon sneaks.'
sol can find me here

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