New plots for old titles

[3eyes]

Well, not necessarily plots, but gists anyhow.

Batman - Orderly so heroic that British officers kill each other to get his services.

Song of the sea - Moby Dick from the whale's (or whales') point of view.

The 4th man - son of Harry Lime.

[nimimerkillinen]

Satantango - Satan gets bored and starts a fiesta in all layers of hell

[nimimerkillinen]

The Seventh Continent - Atlantis rises from water in modern time with atlantians

[albajos]

Batman - Rich playboy Bruce Wayne's parents are killed so he turns his life around and joins the Major League.

Dead Snow - Avant-garde 3 hour documentary about snow melting.

The Mummy - https://youtu.be/IdjfpriATv4
(In other words David Tennant walking around for 90 minutes in a gas mask, asking if people are his mummy)

[cinephage]

Full Metal Jacket - Yves Saint Laurent builds a special jacket made of gold for his lover Jacques de Bascher, in order not to lose him.

The Host - A documentary on the lost art of korean hospitality.

City Lights - The heroic story of the chief electrician of New York during the night of the 1977 blackout.

The Grapes of Wrath - Bela Lugosi creates a lotion which turns its drinker into a furious warrior... In order to test it, he injects grapes with his creation. Soon chaos ensues...

[3eyes]

A tree grows in Brooklyn - Docudrama about momentous environmentalist victory

The lives of a Bengal lancer - Traces reincarnations of Bangladeshi surgeon

A taste of honey - yet another addition to Disney's Pooh series

Sully - Donald of Orange tweets again

[Cynical Cinephile]

Die Hard - short erotic film in which protagonist dies during sex

Blade Runner - a man wants to break a Guinness World Record by becoming the first man to run a mile standing on blades instead of shoes

Notorious - biographical film about Biggie Smalls

[joachimt]

Dead Snow - Avant-garde 3 hour documentary about snow melting.

Hasn't this already been made? Sound like a James Benning movie to me.

[GruesomeTwosome]

Notorious - biographical film about Biggie Smalls

That one was already a thing. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0472198/

[Cynical Cinephile]

Notorious - biographical film about Biggie Smalls

That one was already a thing. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0472198/

The worst part about it is the fact that I have actually seen that film and completely forgotten about it.

Let's change it to biography film about Conor McGregor.

[GruesomeTwosome]

Twelve Monkeys - a jury of twelve Capuchins from various walks of monkey life are sequestered to decide a case on a particularly hot day.

Cat People - devoted cat-lovers face off against equally devoted "dog people".

Minority Report - President Trump orders a report from staff detailing how he can piss off each and every minority group.

[mathiasa]

Dead Snow - Avant-garde 3 hour documentary about snow melting.

Hasn't this already been made? Sound like a James Benning movie to me.

Not sure, I thought it was Michael Snow.

[cinephage]

The Maltese Falcon - A group of adventurers goes to Malta to try and hunt the last member of an extinct species of birds...

The Lost weekend - Woody Allen and Larry David can't seem to agree on what they did on a week-end they spent together one year ago...

The Asphalt Jungle - After a zombie invasion, the city is becoming a jungle once again... Will Smith is in total denial, and has decided to walk his dog to the park, just as he did before.

[weirdboy]

Vertigo - 8 hour Andy Warhol experimental film shot from the top of the Empire State Building

[albajos]

Dead Snow - Avant-garde 3 hour documentary about snow melting.

Hasn't this already been made? Sound like a James Benning movie to me.

Not sure, I thought it was Michael Snow.

ok. if it's already a thing:

Dead Snow - Spin off og Game of Thrones that follows Jon Snow between season 5 and 6

[Knaldskalle]

A Fistful of Dollars: Boy learns how much $5 will buy you these days.
For a Few Dollars More: The sequel teaches him how much $10 gets you.
The Good, The Bad and the Ugly: Boy learns he was scammed in the first two movies and takes revenge.

[funkybusiness]

Stagecoach — A filmed version of the theatrical adaptation of the television series starring Craig T. Nelson.
The Thing — Set in an alternate universe where specific referents don't exist. Very confusing.
A Hard Day's Night — Interquel set between Die Hard 1 and 2.

[3eyes]

Grease - The Yes Men pose as corporate lobbyists

[albajos]

Red Snow - Santa gets surgery removing kidney stones

The Seventh Seal. As the smallest sibling in a group of 7 a seal get overlooked in most situations. It's the origin story of the dance "The Worm". (Basically Happy Feet but on the other side of the world. )

[3eyes]

Anthony Adverse - He don't care what it is, he's agin it!

Dead end - the street appears to go nowhere, but two children find a path to another world.

A star is born - Neil deGrasse Tyson narrates a PBS documentary about novae.

[cinephage]

Toy Story - In this avant-garde feminist film, we see the secret life of a woman's sex toys... They discuss and have fun, until the day a new toy comes in town. Recommended for mature audiences.

The Big Sleep - This socially conscious films describes us the fate of Sleeping Beauty's household after she wakes up. A maid finds she has great-grandchildren who need help, a valet discovers his home have been detroyed and replaced by a parking lot... A nostalgic piece on the passing of time.

Dirty Harry - Harry needs to take a bath, but this troublesome and mischievious child always finds excuses and plays tricks to other kids and even to adults...

[funkybusiness]

Billy Liar — The true story, the one they don't want you to hear, of how William Shakespeare, the phony thieving fraud, took credit for other peoples' work!

[maxwelldeux]

In preparation for Noirvember, I'm setting up my watchlist, which includes:

Sunset Boulevard - On the day of the fall equinox, two burglars take advantage of the bright lights of the Chicagohenge phenomenon to make their escape. But they left something behind - can they wait until the spring equinox to retrieve it?
The Third Man - A young bride discovers that neither of the two father figures in her life are her biological father - he's actually the executioner working at the local gallows. She sets out to find him before she ties the knot. A gritty sequel to the classic Mamma Mia!
Double Indemnity - In a rare noir comedy, a bungling detective with terminal cancer tries to die in the line of duty and set his family up for life by cashing in on his life insurance policy. Unfortunately for him, despite going after the most dangerous criminals, he keeps solving more and more high-profile cases...
Dial M for Murder - An intense neo-noir film about a terrorist planting a bomb and the moments leading up to his decision of whether or not to dial 6 on his cell phone...
White Heat - A low-budget and extremely racist remake of Michael Mann's 1995 classic, featuring a "racially pure" cast. Financed by the KKK.

[3eyes]

Odd man out - after decades of trying to seem neurotypical, protagonist admits to being autistic

[weirdboy]

The Butterfly Effect - biopic of world-renown lepidopterist Vladimir Nabokov

[3eyes]

The Butterfly Effect - biopic of world-renown lepidopterist Vladimir Nabokov

"I was the shadow of the waxwing slain
by my reflection in the windowpane..."

Still waiting for the movie version of Pale Fire.

[Lilarcor]

The Elephant Man Werner Herzog follows a man living with elephants. Part two of a trilogy.
Dances with Wolves Part three of Herzog's trilogy.

[maxwelldeux]

On the downhill slide of the Noirvember challenge, I thought I'd reveal some of the most seen films:

When Strangers Marry - In this behind the scenes documentary about the short-lived reality show "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?", producers begin to understand the unintended consequences of having some rapey dude marry a woman who's not into him...
The Woman in the Window - An obscure sequel to Rear Window, some creepy chain-smoking lady in a wheelchair calls up maxwelldeux's mother to gossip about everything going on in the neighborhood, including such scandals as "the neighbors are going to be late to church again" and "did you know a red truck was parked on the street yesterday?" Based on a true story.
The Sound of Fury - Tragedy strikes when a natural disaster hits the midwestern US, upstaging the president's policy announcement. Emanating from the White House residence is...
Nightmare Alley - What happens when haunted houses no longer excite people? The adventurous seek out running down a Nightmare Alley. They win a handsome prize... if they survive.

[xianjiro]

Citizen Kane - Carol Kane biopic

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? - Who's not afraid of Virginia Woolf (now recently undead) because Who's a zombie. What's afraid of Virginia Woolf because she's human. Why's worried that Costello is a werewolf ...

Titanic - the Klumps haven't stopped eating on their ocean cruise

[xianjiro]

Bride of Frankenstein - The baron is tired of single life in this light, airy romcom. He dates a number of women before meeting the right one, but the catch is, she won't marry unless he forgets about science once and for all. Will he?

It's a Wonderful Life - Filmed in the run up to his last parole hearing, Charles Manson tells incoming lifers how to make the most of their time behind bars.

Life's a Bitch - Manson filmed during and just after parole hearing.

Debbie Does Dallas - we watch Debbie watch all episodes of the 70s TV series Dallas.

Reservoir Dogs - animated story about a pack of talking canines that lives by a manmade lake.

[3eyes]

I laughed out loud several times. It's a Wonderful Life especially.

Abbott, of course, is a waswolf.

And Max's The Woman in the Wndow is obviously based on experience -- creepy, yes, but heartfelt.

[xianjiro]

Nightmare on Elm Street - Roy Moore moves to Freddy's street. Now the girls aren't only afraid of falling asleep.

[Gershwin]

12 Angry Men - in his latest documentary, Michael Moore talks with twelve white collar workers from Flint (Michigan) who voted for Trump and now repent their ways. Of course he doesn't shy away from tears and some personal drama.

[joachimt]

12 Angry Man

This is not the "change 1 letter in a title" game.

[Gershwin]

12 Angry Man

This is not the "change 1 letter in a title" game.

I knew there was something wrong with my post, but I just didn't see it.

[xianjiro]

12 Angry Man

This is not the "change 1 letter in a title" game.

I knew there was something wrong with my post, but I just didn't see it.

well, at least joachimt has captured and immortalized it for you and the board

[3eyes]

Norwegian wood -- Lonely girl raps on pine tree in forest to summon the resident great spotted woodpecker, to whom she pours out her troubles.

[xianjiro]

I thought Norwegian Wood was Monty's bootleg sextape ...

[xianjiro]

So, just checked Loving (1970). Fell asleep at the start of the big party/reality TV scene and

and dreamed an alternate ending

An amalgam of the cuckholds finds Brooks (Segal) alone in the the kitchen (mixing a drink most likely). Unbeknownst to Brooks, Mr Cuckhold is carrying and axe and viola, a la Tarantino's favorite samurai film,
Brooks loses it! (his head that is) and we get a lovely blood fountain.

Additionally, for the closing credits I'd have used

this song

. I know it doesn't quite fit the rest of the film, but ... maybe the remake could be set in Atlanta and they could have a son. ;)

[3eyes]

Hm, viola is (or was) my axe.