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New plots for old titles

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New plots for old titles

#41

Post by maxwelldeux » December 17th, 2017, 10:19 am

Saturday night brain got to wandering and started thinking of a couplenew plots for the docuseries I've been hearing about:

Blue Planet: This docuseries explores the origins of depression and how it manifests itself differently around the globe. Produced by the Blue Man Group.

The Story of Film: An Odyssey: This 'movie about a movie about a movie' documents the failed History Channel pilot "Film: An Odyssey" which in turn explores why a young Greek man filmed himself answering the same question every day for 10 years and edited the answers together.

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#42

Post by 3eyes » December 17th, 2017, 3:42 pm

I especially like the second one. Speculating on what was the question....
:run: STILL the Gaffer!

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#43

Post by 3eyes » December 17th, 2017, 10:41 pm

Superfood of the week franchise:

Taste of Cherry
The scent of green papaya
Fried green tomatoes
Wild strawberries
Flavor of green tea over rice
Garlic is as good as ten mothers
I eats my spinach
Paprika
Carrot top
The Color of Pomegranates
Tangerines
Follow the Broccoli
Wild oats
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#44

Post by xianjiro » December 18th, 2017, 1:51 pm

The Scent of Carrot Top? (oh wait, wrong thread)

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#45

Post by nimimerkillinen » December 18th, 2017, 2:18 pm

Ah-ga-ssi
erotic asian movie about farts

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#46

Post by maxwelldeux » December 22nd, 2017, 10:25 am

Browsing the interwebz, I think I found some alternate versions of the Up Series...

Seven Up!: This 1960s company film discusses the founding of the soft drink company and how it began to grow.
7 Plus Seven: This early technical film discusses various approaches to mathematical pedagogy in early grade school according to the new generation of teachers. Three people consider this to be a lost film; no one else has cared to weigh in.
21 Up: Chronicles the phenomenon of people in the US who attempt to drink 21 shots of liquor on their 21st birthday.
28 Up: January 4, 2014. The Kansas City Chiefs are up by 28 points over the Indianapolis Colts in the 3rd quarter. What happens has only happened one other time in NFL history.
35 Up: This documentary covers the devastating collapse of I-35W in Minneapolis in 2007, and the efforts to rebuild the bridge and help the victims of the collapse.
42 Up: A documentary-style comedy about adults turning age 42 who are finally allowed to know the ultimate question to life, the universe, and everything.
49 Up: Who were the profiteers of the 1849 California gold rush? How much influence do they have on society today?
56 Up: The Story of Las Vegas' most controversial bet - What is the over/under for how many former Academy Award Nominees will be accused of sexual misconduct in 2017?

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#47

Post by xianjiro » December 22nd, 2017, 12:31 pm

The Boss Baby = I, Trump - bet you can figure out who it's all about

Listen, Daddy. Teacher says, 'every time a car alarm bleeps, into heaven a demon sneaks.'
sol can find me here

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#48

Post by 3eyes » December 22nd, 2017, 4:33 pm

maxwelldeux on Dec 22 2017, 03:25:30 AM wrote:Browsing the interwebz, I think I found some alternate versions of the Up Series...

Seven Up!: This 1960s company film discusses the founding of the soft drink company and how it began to grow.
7 Plus Seven: This early technical film discusses various approaches to mathematical pedagogy in early grade school according to the new generation of teachers. Three people consider this to be a lost film; no one else has cared to weigh in.
21 Up: Chronicles the phenomenon of people in the US who attempt to drink 21 shots of liquor on their 21st birthday.
28 Up: January 4, 2014. The Kansas City Chiefs are up by 28 points over the Indianapolis Colts in the 3rd quarter. What happens has only happened one other time in NFL history.
35 Up: This documentary covers the devastating collapse of I-35W in Minneapolis in 2007, and the efforts to rebuild the bridge and help the victims of the collapse.
42 Up: A documentary-style comedy about adults turning age 42 who are finally allowed to know the ultimate question to life, the universe, and everything.
49 Up: Who were the profiteers of the 1849 California gold rush? How much influence do they have on society today?
56 Up: The Story of Las Vegas' most controversial bet - What is the over/under for how many former Academy Award Nominees will be accused of sexual misconduct in 2017?
Bravo!
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#49

Post by allisoncm » December 22nd, 2017, 7:47 pm

cinephage on Oct 11 2017, 09:00:49 AM wrote:Full Metal Jacket - Yves Saint Laurent builds a special jacket made of gold for his lover Jacques de Bascher, in order not to lose him.
:lol:

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#50

Post by xianjiro » January 17th, 2018, 4:38 am

OUT, for Justice - Steven Seagal stars as a middle-aged American who moves to Russia to campaign for LGBT... rights

Listen, Daddy. Teacher says, 'every time a car alarm bleeps, into heaven a demon sneaks.'
sol can find me here

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#51

Post by maxwelldeux » January 30th, 2018, 12:04 am

McCabe and Mrs. Miller: In this riveting investigative documentary, journalists pursue the theory that FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe was fired for having an affair with Trump's senior policy advisor for immigration.
Last edited by maxwelldeux on January 30th, 2018, 12:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

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#52

Post by maxwelldeux » February 8th, 2018, 10:12 am

2018 Oscars Edition!

Call Me by Your Name: This NSFW documentary explores the crazy things people yell out while masturbating.
Darkest Hour: The power goes out nationwide. It's after midnight. And it just so happens that today is the Purge. This 18th sequel in the franchise is notable for setting a record for spending the least amount of money on lighting.
Dunkirk: It's a little known fact that early scripts of Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) had a lackey for the Captain that would do all the grunt work, inevitably screwing it up. Known for his catchphrase, this lackey is now immortalized in the film "Dun, Kirk!"
Get Out: In this ripped-from-the-news political thriller, the first lady, warned about multiple affairs and the increasing paranoid delusions of her husband, seeks to escape her high-profile position...
Lady Bird: This romantic comedy, set on Sesame Street, follows Big Bird as he falls in love with the new avian woman who has moved to the neighborhood.
Phantom Thread: In this psychological thriller, we follow an obsessive seamstress who is seeking to create her masterpiece to gift to the King of England. As she grows increasingly concerned about the quality of the threads in her sewing, we see her descend into madness...
The Post: Game 7 of the NBA finals. Giant McTallerson, center for the Orlando Magic, has been phenomenal throughout the series, but has fallen ill with a terrible case of the flu. He is seeking to deliver the Magic's first NBA championship. It's the fourth quarter, and his team is down by two. 10 seconds left. To give them a chance, he has to make this basket - but can he deliver when he receives the ball in... The Post?
The Shape of the Water: This loose sequel to Forrest Gump follows several shrimp boat captains as they look to the seas to keep themselves safe from the latest hurricane season.
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri: The first billboard said "Snap." The second billboard said "Crackle." The third billboard said "Soda." Thus begins the great soda vs. pop debate in Missouri, which eventually landed in the state supreme court.

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#53

Post by 3eyes » February 8th, 2018, 7:20 pm

Obviously Darkest Hour is an Oscar contender.

Hidden figures - serial thriller in which numerous parties try to get access to Jello’s tax returns

Escape from New York - New Yorkers desperate to move to North Dakota to avoid property taxes find the housing market has tanked

A short film about killing - Abortive attempt by passer-by to capture police shooting on smart phone
:run: STILL the Gaffer!

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#54

Post by maxwelldeux » March 30th, 2018, 7:20 am

Animation Edition

The Emoji Movie: A teenage boy sends a text. A group girls attempt to decode it - What does it mean? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!? Thus begins tonight's murder mystery...

Angry Birds: This little-known sequel to Hitchcock's classic features flocks of birds attacking the townspeople, this time with more vigor. Some film scholars also consider this to be a prequel to Birdemic, suggesting that all three films exist in the same universe...

Fantastic Planet: This latest David Attenborough documentary series features the most breathtaking scenery from around the globe.

Sing: On probation from Sing Sing prison, a young man pursues his dream of being a professional singer by entering a reality TV singing competition...

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#55

Post by maxwelldeux » September 19th, 2018, 5:58 am

The "What if the Comedy Movies I Watched This Month Were Documentaries?" Edition

Playtime (1967): This educational documentary teaches new mothers how to appropriately spend reacreational time with their newborns and teaches new father how to appropriately raise their whiskey glasses, nod, and smile at their kids.

The Young Girls of Rochefort: A hotbed for underage human trafficking, Rochefort has become ground zero for the battle to save young women from being sold as objects. This film explores all sides of the issue, including the buyer, the seller, and the girls being sold.

To Have and Have Not: Roughly half of the illiterate population do not believe in even splits. This documentary compares those who are able to divide by two to the odd ones...

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#56

Post by 3eyes » September 19th, 2018, 1:47 pm

OK, German edition:

Ich möchte kein Mann sein - exiled Nobel laureate wishes he’d been born into a different family

Diary of a lost girl - Emil and his friends use diary clues to find her before the police do.

The tin drum - 1934 film about the Teutonic origins of Calypso. Screenplay by Thea von Harbou.
:run: STILL the Gaffer!

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#57

Post by albajos » September 19th, 2018, 3:05 pm

Game of Thrones

All the royal families in Europe meet up for some musical chair charades. The winner takes over the Commonwealth.

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#58

Post by cinephage » September 19th, 2018, 3:31 pm

Little Big Man : The unexpected story of Big Tom Thumb, a unique giant midget who works in a circus.

The Day the Earth stood still : in this science-fiction movie, the only way to save the world is to send a nice photograph of the population of Earth to the world-eating aliens. Scientists work hard to develop a giant camera that will photograph everybody on Earth at the same time, provided they can all stand still and smile at the same half second...

Some like it hot : a cooking documentary on hot dogs. It turns out that a few gourmets consider hot dogs taste better when served hot, while many others disagree and enjoy a tepid hot dog...

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#59

Post by 3eyes » September 19th, 2018, 5:21 pm

cinephage wrote:
September 19th, 2018, 3:31 pm
The Day the Earth stood still : in this science-fiction movie, the only way to save the world is to send a nice photograph of the population of Earth to the world-eating aliens. Scientists work hard to develop a giant camera that will photograph everybody on Earth at the same time, provided they can all stand still and smile at the same half second...

Arghh, those old photos of us all scowling into the sun while Grandpa fiddles with his box camera....
:run: STILL the Gaffer!

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#60

Post by maxwelldeux » October 31st, 2018, 8:36 am

Horror Edition!

V/H/S: Four teenagers break into several houses looking for a device to play this mysterious "tape" they found in the back of their parents closet. What they see on the tape terrifies them beyond belief.
White Zombie: He's racist. He's white. He's dead. But Jeff Sessions won't eat just any brains - he insists on the ultimate delicacy, children's brains. Is there any way he can combine his two passions, eating the brains of children and hatin' on them brown people?
Jennifer's Body: In this musical sequel to Rocky Horror Picture Show, Dr. Frank N. Furter's daughter, Jennifer, is continuing her father's life work and improving on his methods. Culminating in the song "In Just 30 Minutes I Can Make You a Man," Jennifer promises to reveal her methods, including how she warps time to meet this deadline.
Let the Right One In: In this dystopian future, the most popular game show puts a randomly selected audience member in front of three doors. Three celebrities pitch each door and the contestant then chooses. Choose right? You let the right one in and get a cart full of cash. Choose wrong? Vampires.

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#61

Post by 3eyes » October 31st, 2018, 12:35 pm

Theatre of blood - just another ho-hum day in the good old U. S. of A.
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#62

Post by maxwelldeux » January 10th, 2019, 7:29 am

"The 100 Greatest Sci-Fi Movies" edition:

Blade Runner: An inspiring documentary about a young hockey player who insists on competing in track competitions while wearing hockey skates.
2001: A Space Odyssey: The most beautiful woman in the world is kidnapped and taken to Mars - the whole of earth unites to attack Mars, including a covert war to infiltrate the Martians with a Human-Operated Remote Security Excursion (H.O.R.S.E).
Star Wars: A New Hope: Celebrity feuds are nothing new, but this innovative social media platform is - can this new platform transform the nature of celebrity beefs?
Alien: This tear-jerker drama is about a young man brought illegally to the US - only to be deported 20 years later to his home country, despite not speaking the language or having any family there.

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#63

Post by 3eyes » January 10th, 2019, 2:10 pm

I look forward to the sequel of 2001 redux -- A bot called H.O.R.S.E.
Hey, Max -Show
Didja see my Canadian documentaries? viewtopic.php?p=552440#p552440
:run: STILL the Gaffer!

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#64

Post by maxwelldeux » January 10th, 2019, 5:10 pm

3eyes wrote:
January 10th, 2019, 2:10 pm
I look forward to the sequel of 2001 redux -- A bot called H.O.R.S.E.
Hey, Max -Show
Didja see my Canadian documentaries? viewtopic.php?p=552440#p552440
I did and enjoyed them - just forgot to respond. :pinch:

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#65

Post by maxwelldeux » January 16th, 2019, 5:50 am

The "What if films we watched for the Sci-Fi challenge were episode titles for 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia'" edition:

Bird Box: Sweet Dee lets herself go. When she shows up at the bar, the Gang takes once glance at her and begins vomiting uncontrollably. They all don blindfolds and force Dee to hide her ugliness in a large box.
Ready Player One: The Gang gets an arcade game for the bar. Charlie wants to test it and quickly gets obsessed playing it. After repeatedly failing to get Charlie away from the arcade game, they try to convince the Waitress to sleep with him to break his addiction.
The First Purge: In this "Memento"-style episode, everyone in the bar is vomiting. It's disgusting. Puke everywhere. People have slipped and fell in the puke. Several are unconscious. So they begin to work backwards until they figure out who puked first...
Rampage: The Eagles just won the Superbowl. There are riots in the streets. And the Gang wants to seize an opportunity and get some of their favorite stuff from the local electronics store, using the looting as cover.

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#66

Post by funkybusiness » January 16th, 2019, 5:54 am

The First Purge sounds like the best episode of IASIP that I'll never get to see D; why you do this to me, maxwell

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#67

Post by maxwelldeux » March 12th, 2019, 4:07 am

The "War Movies as the World's Worst Children's Movies" edition:
Fair Warning: I have a dark sense of humorShow
After Fire
What happens with matches
After you play?
Burn a few down
And find out today!

The Hurt Locker
Shoved in a locker
And bullied at school?
Hurt them with guns
And you will be cool!

Apocalypse Now
Everyone's mad and I'm feeling sad.
What's a young boy to do?
I'll take out this town when I burn it down
Charred flesh is my favorite hue

Paths of Glory
There's a hole in the wall
And I sure hear its call
Please tell me now - what is its story?
So when I hear a zip
Why's there sweat on my lip?
And why can't I help but think "Glory"?

The Great Escape
Mommy's being mean, daddy can't be seen,
And it's no longer fun to play
I'll make them see that they won't miss me
When I go and run away

The Longest Day
My parish priest took me to get greased
And said he just wants to play
Now my stomach's feeling sour and he said it's been an hour
But it feels like the longest day

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#68

Post by 3eyes » March 12th, 2019, 12:30 pm

Oh I've been missing the wordplay we used to have on this site. And now there is not only wordplay but good light verse, at that. The last one was a zinger. (My humor can be pretty dark as well.)

Thanks, Max!
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#69

Post by maxwelldeux » May 24th, 2019, 7:37 am

It's a weird night... I'm drunk, so why not discuss some of IMDB's top Westerns, as interpreted by a drunk Jesus Christ? :shrug:
SpoilerShow
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: "Oh, you mean, Peter, Judas, and Thoms? Those dicks..."
Once Upon a Time in the West: "I walk on water ONE FUCKING TIME and I have to hear about it forever!"
Django Unchained: "Wait - who the fuck it doing what the fuck in my name?!?"
For a Few Dollars More: "Hey temple owners - $20 says I can make you seem like real assholes for this."
The Wind: "A cool documentary about what I felt on my cheek WHILE I WAS CRUCIFIED"
Unforgiven: "Hey Pontius Pilate - fuck you."
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre: "I found some treasure inside YOUR madre..."
The General: "Nail me to a fucking cross if I have to talk to someone this high ranking!"
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid: "Oh cool - a movie about two guys who shouted "Barabbas""
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance: "Dunno, but I'm sure I'ma be blamed for it..."

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#70

Post by 3eyes » May 24th, 2019, 3:43 pm

OK, being relatively sober (35 years and counting), I'll tackle the Iranian list:

Tranquillity in the presence of others - except money changers, Pharisees, Sadducees, etc.
Still life - she is not dead but sleepeth
Alchemy - water into wine
Croesus' Treasure - where his heart is
Hemlock - no, that was Socrates
The Immigrant - can any good come out of Nazareth?
More miracles: Turtles can fly, Night of the hunchback
:run: STILL the Gaffer!

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#71

Post by maxwelldeux » May 24th, 2019, 5:50 pm

3eyes wrote:
May 24th, 2019, 3:43 pm
The Immigrant - can any good come out of Nazareth?
This is my favorite one... :lol:

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#72

Post by maxwelldeux » June 12th, 2019, 5:24 am

Since I'm currently slogging my way through The Ten Commandments, let's do the "What if those 'Video Nasties' were actually religious films?" edition:

Dawn of the Dead: Sunday morning - Time to go check on that "Jesus Christ" character we nailed this past Friday...
The Thing: This is a "documentary" by a hyper-conservative Christian group about Eastern religions. Notable because the title imparts all the respect the filmmakers have for those religions.
I Spit on Your Grave: A Jewish grandmother has some VERY specific opinions about her deceased daughter-in-law.
Cannibal Holocaust: Nazis vow to eliminate all those who consume the body and/or blood of Christ. Catholics begin to flee...
Escape from Hell: Hitler has seen the error of his ways, and has secretly returned to earth to help redeem himself by making romantic films. Unfortunately for him, these get labeled as the genre "Nazi rape films", and he's quickly returned to the underworld.
Blood Feast: Taking place only one night after the Last Supper, The Twelve Disciples decide to get shitfaced on some wine to celebrate the life of their dearly-departed friend.

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#73

Post by 3eyes » June 12th, 2019, 2:54 pm

I see you're really getting that old time religion, Max. Cannibal Holocaust is nothing new - you'd better slog your way through Quo Vadis next (haven't seen the Hollywood version, only the Polish - I read the book, tho).
:run: STILL the Gaffer!

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