The Off-Topic Lounge

[Knaldskalle]

I have still never bought a smartphone. I got one for work five years ago and was allowed to keep it after I left the job.

I got you beat. Still never had a smartphone one way or the other and haven't had any kind of cell phone in over a decade. I am thinking about getting one, though, since the kids are getting to the age where they're all over the place and need to be picked up and dropped of and plans change while you're en route.

I bought a smartphone for my oldest daughter last year and put LineageOS on it and she's been quite happy with it.

[blocho]

I remember being reluctant to let my flip phone go and get a smart phone, but I disagree that they’re the downfall of civilization. I’d say it’s the opposite. It makes life so much easier and has nothing to do with social media, which I don’t even use aside from the forum and Reddit. The only thing I dislike is when I’m doing social stuff and everyone is at the table on their phones. I’m always telling my parents off for doing this lol. Otherwise everything else about them is a bonus.

Yeah, that part right there. I'm exaggerating, of course, when I say the downfall of civilization, but I think the smartphone has done a lot of harm to positive human sociality (talking to people face to face) and helped increase negative human sociality (social media -- which actually is immensely harmful).

And then there are all the negatives from the apps. I can't speak for other cities, but uber and its ilk has destroyed the taxi industry in New York and led to a spate of taxi driver suicides. Meanwhile, the food delivery apps are doing immense harm to restaurants, which are the sorts of small businesses that are vital to the economic health of a city. Now those apps are available beyond mobile devices, but realistically they wouldn't have much power without widespread smartphone use.

[mightysparks]

Idk the economics of things but I’ve only taken a handful of taxis (and two Ubers in my life) and I don’t eat out much so the only places that really get my money are the ones with delivery or I just cook at home. I’d say a lot of people with anxiety like me are probably spending more money at these places than they would’ve before the apps existed so it seems like some places are benefitting from it. But I haven’t looked into the impact of this at all so idk.

And things like socializing face to face.. I couldn’t talk to people before I was 22 and it was the forum and social media that helped me learn how to do it. The forum is pretty much my only social life now though and my anxiety is so bad that I barely post here anymore but without the internet I would be a complete shut in and would never interact with people. For people like me, which seems to be an increasing amount, these things make life much more bearable and easier.

[blocho]

Lauren, I hope you understand I wasn't writing about you specifically. I appreciate that our current digital age is helpful for many people such as yourself. I just think from an overall perspective that it's been negative.

[sebby]

The butting into the social aspects of real life is the biggest gripe for me. I have been on dates and had it happen and that's an automatic dealbreaker. I've also been in a situation talking to a friend about something pretty serious and had them check their phones and go "uh-huh, uh-huh" as I'm speaking. I got angry af and flipped my lid but I think for many it's simply a pavlovian reaction to hearing that ding from your phone. It's more important to get the dopamine hit from an instagram comment to your shitty picture of an old snow-covered tree than to be a decent friend or date or whatever. it's fucking heroin.

that said, i am very appreciative of my iphone and how it has in some ways drastically improved my QOL

[mightysparks]

Lauren, I hope you understand I wasn't writing about you specifically. I appreciate that our current digital age is helpful for many people such as yourself. I just think from an overall perspective that it's been negative.

Yeah I know, not taking anything personally at all just having a discussion I was just explaining how it's been positive for me and people like me. From what I've seen, it's been mostly positive to me. There are negative aspects, but I just don't think the negatives outweigh the good things.

[mightysparks]

The butting into the social aspects of real life is the biggest gripe for me. I have been on dates and had it happen and that's an automatic dealbreaker. I've also been in a situation talking to a friend about something pretty serious and had them check their phones and go "uh-huh, uh-huh" as I'm speaking. I got angry af and flipped my lid but I think for many it's simply a pavlovian reaction to hearing that ding from your phone. It's more important to get the dopamine hit from an instagram comment to your shitty picture of an old snow-covered tree than to be a decent friend or date or whatever. it's fucking heroin.

that said, i am very appreciative of my iphone and how it has in some ways drastically improved my QOL

Yeah I've had the 'serious discussion with someone as they turn away to look at their screen' and I really hate it. Every time I go for lunch with my mum she's checking Facebook marketplace coz she sells stuff on there and it's like c'mon put it down for 5 minutes. I do take my phone out occasionally during non-serious discussions, but I always say what I'm doing to let them know I'm not ignoring them because usually I'm googling something we've been discussing or bookmarking something they've recommended me.

[cinephage]

I think the issue is less the technology than people's attitude, as is often the case. The possibility these smartphones offer are just incredible. But some people just forget how to behave in the real world, ignoring real life conversations for trivial inputs in a social medium, or proving unable to ignore them for a while.

But you had already such issues before, homes where the TV would run no matter what, noisily flooding everyone daily activities, or people who could not ignore the phone ringing, even when they were in the middle of something else whether it be sex, cooking, having a serious talk or assembling furniture...

It's just that people need to learn how to act properly, rather than an actual technological issue. On the other hand, it is true that some of the apps are conceived in the intent of exploiting this human weakness, but that's no more a technological issue than the problem of some ads being too intrusive...

[Onderhond]

And then there are all the negatives from the apps. I can't speak for other cities, but uber and its ilk has destroyed the taxi industry in New York and led to a spate of taxi driver suicides. Meanwhile, the food delivery apps are doing immense harm to restaurants, which are the sorts of small businesses that are vital to the economic health of a city. Now those apps are available beyond mobile devices, but realistically they wouldn't have much power without widespread smartphone use.

The problem is not smartphones, the problem is how companies these days are circumventing the pillars of the free market (from what I understand of it at least, but I'm not a pro). Because these companies rely on investors and are allowed to operate on loss for years and years on end, the "best" product doesn't always win anymore, but the product with the most financial backing does. The reason they're allowed to make loss for such a long time is because these products create a dependency, from customers on one hand, but also for other companies. Uber Eats teaches people to order restaurant-quality food from their homes, while it teaches restaurant to build part of their business on delivery. Once they have market domination and dependency of customers and other companies, they can start flexing their muscle, raise prices and rake in the dough.

It's very much a disruptor thing and smartphone are great disruptors of course, but a company like Amazon (way way way before smartphones) did exactly the same thing. And look at where they are now.

Yeah, that part right there. I'm exaggerating, of course, when I say the downfall of civilization, but I think the smartphone has done a lot of harm to positive human sociality (talking to people face to face) and helped increase negative human sociality (social media -- which actually is immensely harmful).

I think the net result will be a big positive, but to get there it's going to be a rocky road. That's just gut feeling though and it's fair to disagree.

What social media/the internet did was expose people to a million different ideas and opinions. That was always going to clash with our village mentality. There's just too much info, our brains aren't used to dealing with so many different ideas and certainly not so many negative feedback. I'm certain future generation will learn to deal with that (as they grow up with this reality) and will adopt a much broader vision on our world. It'll take time though.

Also, companies like Facebook and Twitter are unregulated and love to experiment with dark UX patterns to influence its users. That's a thing that'll have to go too. For that this graph comes in handy: (I think currently we're moving between the peak and trough points)

[Lammetje]

The forum is pretty much my only social life now though and my anxiety is so bad that I barely post here anymore [...].

Please post more often. I like reading your various thoughts, stories and complaints.

[Knaldskalle]

The problem is not smartphones, the problem is how companies these days are circumventing the pillars of the free market (from what I understand of it at least, but I'm not a pro). Because these companies rely on investors and are allowed to operate on loss for years and years on end, the "best" product doesn't always win anymore, but the product with the most financial backing does. The reason they're allowed to make loss for such a long time is because these products create a dependency, from customers on one hand, but also for other companies. Uber Eats teaches people to order restaurant-quality food from their homes, while it teaches restaurant to build part of their business on delivery. Once they have market domination and dependency of customers and other companies, they can start flexing their muscle, raise prices and rake in the dough.

That's not just Uber Eats, that's Uber's entire business model. "Disrupt" taxi services to the point they go bankrupt and then seize the market, jack up prices to an even higher level than they were before and walk away with a ton of money and none of the responsibilities/costs of an actual taxi company (such as insurance, licensing and so on). Right now Uber is bleeding money every year, but they're still in the subversive phase. Scumbag company if ever there was one (not that I love taxi companies, but Uber is just yucky from top to bottom).

[Onderhond]

I simply used Uber Eats as an example (because it creates dependencies on two levels), this model is actually quite mainstream nowadays. It's problematic, it's well documented, but apparently it's difficult to keep in check.

It's not a smartphone issue though.

[Knaldskalle]

I simply used Uber Eats as an example (because it creates dependencies on two levels), this model is actually quite mainstream nowadays. It's problematic, it's well documented, but apparently it's difficult to keep in check.

This has happened before in the US, known as the age of the Robber Barons or the Gilded Age. Regulations and enforcement of regulations are the solution to that kind of crap.

[Lakigigar]

I've really have some kind of "brain fog" issues... and it happens quite often in the latest years, but i've recently started to notice it more, but I always had it.

For some reason the problem starts when I read something, like now I had it with this list

https://www.icheckmovies.com/lists/davi ... miramarco/

I quickly (vaguely) read over it. Ricomincio da tre, and I read it as: "Romancing The Stone".

The thing is i start to ask myself: "huh, Romancing The Stone: is that an italian movie?", and I quickly realize i misread it, but than i have like a feeling it is the title of a real movie, so I search it up and I see it is a Zemeckis movie.

1. The thing is if i misread something
- Why is it always that I misread so badly, and it's almost an entirely different name (and not something similar to it)
- Why is it always that it is something that 1. exists truly, is 2. something i usually don't know well enough in particular or have never heard about it and 3. is related in the same context as the thing i originally misread (really weird?)

This is not only the case with reading film titles, it's with every little interest of me i have this issue. I can't name other examples, but it has often, certainly at least every week (might not be the case with movies).

And it has something to do with my subconscious / unconscious brain, because it's the only thing that reads and saves massive amounts of data that never goes to my conscious, so sure i've read about Romancing The Stone, but never in particular, so why would I think about that movie if i don't know if the film title exists, who the director, what it is about, from what year or country or whatever it is. It is some brain fog issue in my subconscious and I don't understand what is going on, because it happens quite frequently.

Another weird thing i've started to notice. Everytime i need to recall a movie's name, i always know the movie's production year as well... almost without exception, regardless whether i've seen it or not. Online internet databases of course DO have the year next to the film title. My brain simply saves that as well. I'm not sure why, but my brain does, and it doesn't fail in that. And it's simply because it's usually next to the film title (if only directors were also next to the film title...). I've also noticed i'm good with remembering years, like for in geology or climatology and weather i'm pretty good in it too. I think as a developing child with a climate interest, i got so used to saving years, that i do it as well for production years of movies. And i have pretty much good fact knowledge, because it's so easy to save something in my brain for some reason.

What I also noticed is how I spell movies, and even that is quite noticeable. In school, i was always the best student in spelling, but i've noticed it's not only in my native language, i have that benefit, i have it in other languages too, even foreign languages i sometimes never have learned. Like

Like i can easily remember film titles in foreign languages without looking up, some examples:

Letyat zhuravli (and i can name the year, 1957)
Diarios de motocicleta (i guess 2004?)

But if we do it harder like finnish or romanized korean

Tulikkitutehtaan tytto (1990)
Or Bom Yeoreum Gaeul Gyeoul Geurigo Bom (2003)

Yes, i know i'm a freak, and I wonder why my brain works like that.

Not that i'm proud of my brain, because it has some difficulties to remember plain "faces", like i can easily ignore this problem because I usually remember hair, clothing style and things like that and it's not that bad. It's partly because I don't stare at people or look thoroughly into their faces to remember them and people I know well are people I remember, but i also partially get help because of context. I know i would see for example my older school friends when i go to school (like than it's not an issue), but I wasn't able to recognize my best friend when I didn't expect him to show up, and that's when the trouble gets to start, especially because I usually pay no attention (or minimal attention) to my surroundings when I walk, because I get absorbed by the music i listen too. And yes, sometimes it bothers me in movies, esp. certain movies with lots of persons to remember. And low work memory also prevents me from fully enjoying fast-paced movies that don't take their time to absorb you into a story, which is movies like Snatch don't work well for me (and it also has yeah a ton of persons in that movie). Aside of that, the plot doesn't interest me, and the style seems quite dated.

I also am very fluctuating in understanding or reading other languages. I don't get why I sometimes understand english like i'm a native speaker and at other certain times i don't (esp. for listening), but also sometimes for reading.

Sometimes i have issues reading english for certain movies, at other times i have totally no issue.
Why do I have such an issue listening to The Great Dictator with subs, and can't understand more than half of it, when I don't have an issue with Isaac Arthur's science channel or various let's plays. Even for some dutch movies I can get in trouble for their dialect, and even some friends multiple times have to repeat what they said because I didn't fully understand what they said.

Why do i have such an issue with basic mathemetical functions and algebra, while I kick everyone's ass with statistics. Some things absolutely don't make any kind of sense. My brain is just so weird, and i have no clue to why that is.

Even my dreams are otherworldly, like how could my mind possibly come up with them (and in my dreams i'm always deaf). If people communicate in my dreams, it's through the act of writing & reading OR i already know it what they think without them telling me, but my dreams are always contemplative for some reason, but they're absolutely trips and absurd in everyway possible, like i've never seen it.

I've taken LSD in early january. i've watched trip movies, but nothing has ever come close to my weirdest dreams, because they fuck you around. It's like Perfect Blue, but even crazier and much more absurd. If only I could remember them (and transition them into film), because the best movies (most likely shorts) are my dreams.

I've done psychological tests, there are suspects i have strong photographic memory through those tests, but i probably use it unconsciously, but when I spell things i visualize how a word is written I believe (in a blink of an eye, like a flash in my head).

[brokenface]

1. The thing is if i misread something
- Why is it always that I misread so badly, and it's almost an entirely different name (and not something similar to it)
- Why is it always that it is something that 1. exists truly, is 2. something i usually don't know well enough in particular or have never heard about it and 3. is related in the same context as the thing i originally misread (really weird?)

Ricomincio da tre - Romancing The Stone

Thing is your example there wasn't so entirely different between the two: same start and end letter, some shared letters (particularly the om and nc in the first word), same number of words, all similar length.

Human brain is constantly filling in the blanks from incomplete information, particularly visual info. When it's correct you don't really know you're doing it but sometimes can jump to wrong conclusion and it's a bit disorientating

[mightysparks]

I am also good at remembering the year of films and remembering how to spell the foreign titles because that’s my default view on IMDb. In recent years my memory hasn’t been as good (partly depression, partly spending less time on movie stuff. Thus watchable), but it used to be nearly perfect recall. All those things don’t really seem that weird to me, brains and humans are just odd in general lol

[Lammetje]

That was a glorious rant, Laki. I can relate to some of those things, like not remembering faces very well, not understanding what some people say even after they repeat it several times, and remembering certain pieces of information that most others forget.

Also, when I'm watching a movie and people start mentioning family relations (e.g. person A is a cousin of person B and person C is person B's mother-in-law), I usually have to pause the movie to take a moment to understand how the characters are connected to each other. Even if the family relations are pretty basic.

[blocho]

My father lived in The Hague for four years as a young man and has always spoken highly of the Netherlands. I've visited twice, but not since 2003, and I can't say I have strong memories. But today I saw this video ...



... and I have to say that that's a really nice country you have there. Sure, we got canals in the United States. Plenty of them, actually. It's a big country. But I think very few of them look this cool. Anyway, my hats off the protagonist of the video above, Boat, and to Boat's many supporting players, canals and bridges.

[Lakigigar]

I have a much better day & night rhythm now. I now go to sleep between 11pm and 2 am, sometimes it might be a bit later than that, but not often, and it's usually around 1-2am. For some US events i stay awake, so at election night i went to bed around 1-2pm, but aside of that it doesn't happen often (with Trump's election win, i didn't sleep for the entire night & day afterwards). The same does apply for some UK election events (esp. Brexit and Indyref which I also followed). I didn't follow the latest election in which Boris Johnson won, because it was pretty much clear how the election would turn out to be early in the night.

I wake up between 7-8 am now. But sometimes i sleep a few hours during daytime, occassionally. (maybe 1, max. 2 times a week). So I usually have 5 to 6 hours of sleep every night.

A few years ago, i went to bed at the earliest 4am, but it was quite frequently i stayed awake until the morning or early afternoon. Sometimes i also tried to stay awake until the evening and than sleep to quickly find out that my day & night rhythm rapidly shifted again to sleeping no earlier than 4am, so skipping nights was very frequently to some point even skipping multiple nights in a row, esp. when I gamed, but also for other things i stayed awake.

When i had an appointment, i did it often during the morning. When I had to shop, i also did in the morning, so what happened. I did those things often just before I went to bed... lol. So shops open around 8am or sometimes even 9am, and i went than because I didn't want to go in the evening, mainly because it's much more crowded than very early in the morning, and also because I simply felt more comfortable early in the morning. Usually, when I was back (at like 10am or for appointments sometimes even later), i went to bed (lol), to get my much-needed rest. I usually woke up around 2pm, but it varied a bit. Sometimes as early as around noon, sometimes as late as 4-5-6pm.

I did that for multiple reasons. I hated light when I watched a movie, so especially during the winter i had this routine. So what happened, as i felt no difference between daytime and night when I sleep (sometimes even feeling sleepier when it was sunny than when it was dark or rainy), i went to sleep than. I watched my movies at night, when it's more calm outside, and when there's no sunlights outside (right now i have curtains.), but I still prefer darkness. My room is almost always very dark. The darkness has some kind of atmosphere I really like. I have also developed good visuals at nighttime i believe. I have quite good orientation in darkness. But darkness settles my mood much better and enhances my cognitive functions I believe.

I noticed that I was able to do much more during night than during daytime, because i did the most cognitive demanding things during nighttime. If i wanted to write, i did at night. Playing strategy games, i did that mostly at night. Watching difficult movies (arthouse movies or cult movies), i did at night. While i tend to watch more lighter movies during daytime. Same thing for music, i listened all my fav albums for some reason mostly at night. When i listen them during daytime i like them less. The music albums i listen to at night are often higher rated when the ones I listen during daytime. Many of the music albums I like most are ones i listened for the first time when it was dark.

Same thing for movies. I watched almost every fav of me (before 2018) during nighttime for some reason, partly because I deliberately postponed the ones I expected most from to the middle of the night. Movies like Suspiria, The Fly and Kreuzweg are all movies I watched between around 2am to 4am.

Sometimes when I write something at night, i go to bed and wake up later... and I re-read texts that i wrote the night before, i can't remember much of it, but mostly I'm stunned by the words I use, because I don't understand some words in texts i wrote at night (believe it or not, but I noticed that). Sometimes I also see that when I re-read texts of months or years ago. But often when i write long texts, i tend to go in some kind of "trance", "enhanced cognitive abilities" and "hyperfocus", and that's the reason why I believe. Some movies and some music are also very trance-inducing (like Neon Demon, Suspiria, the tv series The End of the F**cking World and yes the arthouse movie Kreuzweg also for some reason).

Part of it might be caused by ADD which indeed has general lack of attention span but also hyperfocus modes, but sometimes i tend to be longer in hyperfocus than in periods of general lack of attention. Right now, i can say i can concentrate on about 90% of movies very well, which is higher than it used to be (and partially why i need to do so many rewatches as well). But i've watched around 60 movies this year, i think i couldn't concentrate very well on 4 movies. (The Handmaiden, Snatch, Le meraviglie and Capharnaum). Sometimes i concentrate at the early stages (first 30 to 60 minutes), but i really don't care after the movie after a while and I give up and than it goes from terrible to even lower degrees. On top of that, i have sometimes lower attention span for movies at the end of it (Last Days), but still able to concentrate. But with most movies, I usually have trouble getting into the movie, but after that, the movies usually tend to absorb me, and than I have no trouble anymore, which is now the case for most movies luckily.

[Lakigigar]

Also, this is mentally, but it also applied to my physical state. I also remember i was into running (as part of eating disorder problem, but let's keep that aside). I was able to run so hard at times. I have relatively good physical natural condition, but the problem is, i am not always motivated enough to force myself to do physical efforts, and I experience the earlier stages are often the hardest stages, because I tend to motivate myself better after the first 2 to 3 km's, so I usually if i did give up, it was in the first kilometers or first mile. If i did not, i ran like 5 miles or 15 km in an hour. I was a good runner, but not consistent. I was also very harsh for myself. I wasn't happy with running 15 km in an hour, even though if you can do that after not even only a month of training, that was supposedly very excellent, but I pushed my body to do extreme things in running I suppose. I dreamt of running marathons, and I actually only wanted to participate if i had a chance of winning that one, which meant running like 2h40m for a marathon and I was not able to get that pace for 15km. I was more on track of running a marathon behind 4 hours (with already only 1-2 months of training). Normal people would be proud of it or happy of it, that they're able to do that (WITHOUT INJURIES as well). I never have had an injury from running. My performance could've also become better if i trained in the right clothing. Although at night (even when winter), i ran in a tshirt and short, even when it was -4°C at night in the winter because I didn't want extra weight and wanted to have comfortable clothing, and because I realized I would warm up when I ran. I also never got sick from this. But yes, i could've had had better running equipment and better running shoes, and it would probably increase my performance even more and reduce the chances of illness and injury.

I'm not very demanding of other persons, but I'm very demanding of myself, and if i like the sport and can motivate myself, i'm not someone who gives up anytime. I never give up when I don't want to. Like if i play badminton, i go for every plume how difficult that one is, and yes, i've been able to surprise people with how defend in badminton (but i'm also very lean, and tall), so for an amateur badminton i can do some nice saves, while quite good in attack, preciseful, unpredictable and also enough power to get the plume to the other side of the field (I think badminton is the sport i'm best in, so not really surprising, but i'm also good in tennis, even as a child, not mastering the techniques but still being quite precise, and dosing my power well).

The badminton was not at night, but the running was mostly at night. Even as a child, i remember being better in sports in the late evening (esp. endurance-related). So i think the difference between daytime and nighttime is also visible here.

I'm much better in walking / running than cycling though (although i don't suck in cycling, i can ride 100 km with my bicycle at a pace of 25 km/h, possibly more if i don't forget to eat lol), but that's far from exceptional. And for some reason despite my legs being much more powerful (esp. around calves), i'm better in hand sports, despite them being very thin due to eating issues, but I still had power left in them (but they seem thin, not really muscled though, and always have been, it's impossible for fat to go to my arms). I'm not that good in things like weightlifting though, while I have much more power in my feet and legs, when it comes to pure physical power. The discrepancy has always stunned me, because even at a bmi of 16, i still had those insane leg muscles (although with no fat, they look more impressive i guess). But if you looked at my face, my hands or esp. my back, you clearly saw i was underweight.

Most of my best sports performances however were done when I was underweight, esp. for running.

[joachimt]

I now go to sleep between 11pm and 2 am, sometimes it might be a bit later than that, but not often, and it's usually around 1-2am.

I wish I could do that. I normally go to bed between 10pm and 10:30. I wake up at 6:15am at working days. So roughly eight hours sleep. I really need it. If I go two bed later than 11pm for two nights in a row, I'm getting a headache.

[Lakigigar]

I now go to sleep between 11pm and 2 am, sometimes it might be a bit later than that, but not often, and it's usually around 1-2am.

I wish I could do that. I normally go to bed between 10pm and 10:30. I wake up at 6:15am at working days. So roughly eight hours sleep. I really need it. If I go two bed later than 11pm for two nights in a row, I'm getting a headache.

I needed more sleep a few years ago, but the latest months, especially after stopping taking medication and getting into another season. That changed a bit. It's different from latest winter (but I was on medication though), but the years before that, i wasn't on medication as well and I needed more sleep. I'm still able to sleep well, but i sleep better in fewer hours I believe now. And it wasn't like I was an alcoholic back than (although i did drink more years ago than now, but I now smoke more and I also drink a lot of cafein-related drinks, which was always the case). I think on average I drink like 3 litres of coke zero every day, and every week this has increased lately. But also... i now drink much more water than a few months ago, so what happened, not only my coke zero intake increased, i also drink much more water now. (i'm getting to 1.5 - 2 litres a day, sometimes more), on top of the 3 litres of coke zero... I'm also a lot of the time thirsty. I'm also hungry often. After losing 13.5 kg in like 4 months, my weight now is stable again, with even a slight increase. My BMI is now around 18-19 but I definitely eat over 2000kcals almost everyday. I just only eat candies, cookies and crisps rarely. It used to be a bit more last month, but now it has decreased to almost zero again.

I drink around 13 litres of coke zero every week, but usually i'm out of stock after 4 days, so the three days after that i survive on only water (and it's also much more than it used to be, all the diet coke gets replaced by water, so i drink around 2 to 3 bottles of water everyday when i'm out of coke zero (which is between 3 to 4.5 litres of water).

I usually have a 1000 to 1500 kcal meal at noon (a lot higher than normal people, believe me, but it's usually however on the healthier side). I often eat something in the evening as well (3 to 4 sandwiches) but not always, but that's about it, because I don't eat anything else (often).

So, most people think i'm someone who can eat very well, sure that's for sure. I can, i can eat and eat and eat and not stop. And if i'm on the table, nothing gets thrown away, because I will eat it all, because I hate throwing away, because the only reason i can justify not being vegan while being environmentalist is to ensure that nothing gets thrown away because I HATE THAT. I'd rather eat myself sick before I stop. Despite often doing that, i'm still (slightly) underweight. But I could easily win eating contests if they would exist i believe, esp... in my weight class. Some said that they don't know else who can eat faster and more than I can on such a short time, and i've always been like that. I think it's partially because of child abuse and deliberate underfeeding and other trauma's that I developed this behaviour.

I have definitely still the symptoms of bulimia (but without the purging, which i've done in the past for a few months to half a year, and after that occassionally, but I don't have a good gag reflex, which might be my luck). But I also believe I do have symptoms of binge eating disorder, but I do tend to have a very high metabolism, even up to the point i've thought i could have diabetes type 1... .

[Lakigigar]

I've also like taken a ton of medication between feb/mar 2019 and sep 2020 consisting out of:
xanax
abilify or noradrenalin
seroquel
concerta at first, followed by dextroamphetamin/dexedrine (which is AD(H)D medication similar to Adderall)

But somethings got sometimes switched... like i've taken sertralin as well. The seroquel wasn't even prescribed but i've taken that for 6 months at least due to an administrative error. It was supposed to be SeroXAT instead of SeroQUEL. Unbelievable. When I heard about that, i immediately stopped all medication abruptly without consulting a psychiatrist (which was also comorbid, with a different psychiatrist changing my medication, which I disagreed with). The psychiatrist i consulted wasn't happy when he heard about that, because I already stopped for a few weeks, they let it slide (stating he was disappointed, but still following me). Until today, i've not had a single side-effect, except for dangerous weight loss.

My body also responds well to medication in the sense I get no side-effects either, but also not benefits from it. I didn't experience an altered consciousness or feeling with or without the medication, but no negatives either. It's like everything continued like normal, despite the quantities of medication i took. I still was depressive. I still had anxiety issues. I still had concentration issues. It all didn't help (another reason why i stopped taking garbage).

Right now, i'm relatively stable again, since october, ironically the moment I stopped taking medication and since than i didn't relapse, although i've had some periods of elevated stress and felt like i was relapsing in disordered eating behaviour. Everything went back to pre-march 2019 state actually, exc. for different day-and-night rhythm and less sleepy hours / less tiredness. But all of it is similar to pre-march 2019. I'm also watching more movies again now, which i didn't do between march 2019 and this year.

Yes, i'm still sort of depressive, but it's so much more manageable now than it used to be... And why? Because of the art of distraction. Simple and clear. Because of more focus on positive things and my interests again. And i've learnt to accept that this is the way I am, and that this is the way i want to design my life. Minimal social contact, minimal things to worry about, minimal stress, minimal anxiety, minimal focus on family & friends, less focus on politics and full focus on multimedia. Otherwise i've no life anymore. It's just so much better now.

[Lammetje]

I think we need a Laki Ramble Lounge.

[Lakigigar]

I think we need a Laki Ramble Lounge.

Some forum has a thread called: "Stream of consciousness / venting thread". Well last time I checked, i was top poster there with 2500+ replies, more than twice than who was second. I can't log in on the forum, so i can't provide the states, and apparently they're not visible to offline users (they also did a lay-out switch, so it could be because of that), but I recently got my 10.000th post on that forum over only 5 years.

On Talk elections forums i have 6865 posts now. On 9lives a Belgian forum, i had 11.000 posts I believe (but it's now down). Yeah there are some forums where i have lot of posts. I have 5000+ posts also on Moviemeter (although they're quite strict with what content they allow, so most of those must have been strictly on-topic), and they always count posts on film pages as well, and I review almost every movie i've seen (but that only counts for like +-700 posts). I'm not sure how many I have here (1746 apparently).

I have at least 30.000 posts over the internet, and it's possible it's up to 50.000 and some of them are notoriously LONG, believe me. Because on 9lives, i was known as the tl;dr guy.

I've been active as a kid on online forum, since I was 8. Yes, since I was 8. I remember i was 8 years only. I went on summer camp to build websites, and the only thing i wanted to learn was how to start a forum

Lately forums are getting older and older, getting dated, almost every forum loses activity (i don't know if this is the case here), but it's getting replaced with faster slow-chat channels, with loss of immersion. Export is from people that start getting a life lol, while younger generations all do tik tok or snapchat, whatever.

[mightysparks]

I usually try to leave a few months gap in between listens to the Ricky Gervias XFM show/podcast, but I just finished it listening to it twice in a row with only a couple of days in-between. I already want to start it again. Idk what it is about the show but it is insanely addictive. It's like crack. I feel so good listening to it and empty when I'm not. My boyfriend listened to most of it about a year ago, but never finished it. He's on it again now and has said he feels the same way about it. He feels good and relaxed listening to it, but gets depressed when it's not on. There is also a massive following for the show and some people listen to it on repeat constantly and use it to fall asleep at night etc. How the hell does a 20 year old radio show have this effect on people? I listen to it about twice a year on average and it's been 8 years since I first listened to it

[Pretentious Hipster]

Adobe does a DMCA take down notice on MS-DOS software... that was freeware

https://www.pcmag.com/news/adobe-sends- ... bat-reader

[Lakigigar]

My last.fm didn't continuously track, but i was surprised when I saw that. It actually visualizes my sleep issues pretty much lol.

I've taken sleep medication, the fun part is it seems like it was worse when i was on heavier sleep medication than now when i'm off it. Tho the last month it became worse again. I think on average i've slept 2 to 3 hours less in march than in february each night. I don't know why that it, but it seems my mind is way too occupied and that I became much more active at night again.

You see even evidence of all-nighters multiple days & nights in a row Although i feel very tired at times and take a lot of micronaps, but I also have these when i've slept over 10 hours. I almost feel tired in the morning. It gets better in the evening, and i get very active in the late evening & early night again. Than i get tired towards the end of the night and go to sleep, to wake up four hours later still tired... I shower than mostly to get me awake (which somewhat helps). But sometimes in the afternoon, i get really really tired and have to lay down for a while. But when you think i'll go to bed somewhat earlier, i usually stay up late again, often even going even later to bed, shifting my patterns again.

[Pretentious Hipster]

Gotta get a new backpack soon and I think I found the perfect one https://www.redbubble.com/i/backpack/De ... 7981.K1KHE

[funkybusiness]

"who's Gene Gabbon"

[xianjiro]

sure you don't mean the gibbon gene?

[AdamH]

5th May 2021 will, incredibly, be the ten year anniversary of the forum. Hard to believe. Think we need to make a new logo with 10 years mentioned in it. Not too many new forums nowadays probably last so long.

[Lakigigar]

I'm probably going to study again (last chance) next year... This time i'm again choosing for psychology. It's 95% sure. The other study direction that interest me a lot are: pedagogy & sociology. I've ruled out politicology, history & everything with exact science (simply because exact science isn't exactly my strength). Psychology is a young "science" that is still open to being given shape off, whereas in other sciences it's more established.

Preferrably if i'd to choose again, i would probably do in secondary education again something with exact sciences, pay more attention, study physics & astronomy, and after i've finished that, studying psychology or sociology, because preferrably what I want to do is work as a psychologist or sociologist, but i also want the knowledge i want to apply that to astronomy, because i want to theoritize how alien civilizations might work and for that you need both physics & astrology & maths/statistics (while also have a decent idea of earth geography & geology, which I already do at this point), on top of human sciences (which is from an anthropogenical perspective, which might not be great, since the sample size is small and very biased, but still... one sample size is better than no sample size), and if we assume some concepts are quite similar to that of us, and define intelligent life more as intelligent civilization-building species (i want to add the civilization-building characteristic to it), than that would be an excellent start. But I also think (and philosophy might be great for that aspect), that the concept of life might not be something we completely understand, esp. in how it can be defined, in how it is understood, and what it could look like, esp. if you look further, and look into definition of sapience & conscience.

Ideally, my dream is to write a book of it, but of course i'm not ready for that at this point, but I do have a general idea & outline, and i don't think it's been done before, because I have been looking into it my whole life for something. I do have some books that could be very interesting as a reference book (and perhaps some studies & research might be interesting too-, but in terms of real books, there is not much reference work, and part of what I want to do is to make things more readable for the general public, which I sometimes do with posts about geology & geography (but i need to eliminate the enthusiasm gap i sometimes have in that regard).

I do think my talent in that regard, is much better than talent for making music or making movies, certainly. I'm not really into fiction in the sense that I can do it myself, i believe. Perhaps cinematography yes, but writer & director, probably no.

Although like with everything, practice is the key to success, which is certainly true for a lot of things.

What I want to do is 3 years (at least of psychology) preferrably, than choose between psychology or sociology for master (or if something else pops up, likely psychology because why would you start studying it if you do something else), but what i've considered is to do the most important subjects in sociology as well that I feel i will need for whatever i want to do in my life. And during my free time, when i waste my time doing whatever the fuck i'm into at that point, i'll probably have enough time for the basics of whatever else i'll need (mostly by reading reference books to enrichen myself in that aspect), and perhaps that'll be it to do what i perhaps want to do (or perhaps it won't and it won't matter), and i'll still be an excellent psychologist (hopefully).

Pedagogy / psychology / sociology is certainly what I want to study academically, and psychology is what I want to pick. But these are the things I can see myself doing later, and is among what i think is achievable for me, because let's be realistic, exact sciences is not.

What however would be interesting is that i would be a fucking autist psychologist or a psychologist with ASD which could be quite rare haha, but i really think is the most logical study direction, but some have said you can't do it because you have ASD... or because you're suicidal / depressive and have self harm cuts... I'll determine that myself. If transgenders are going to be accepted today (which i fully support btw), than society will probably also perhaps accept formerly suicidally ASD psychologists.... i guess. A knife cuts in both ways... Diversity is more than just antiracism, pro-LGBTQ rights, whatsoever, it's more than that.

[xianjiro]

5th May 2021 will, incredibly, be the ten year anniversary of the forum. Hard to believe. Think we need to make a new logo with 10 years mentioned in it. Not too many new forums nowadays probably last so long.

we need to celebrate - some sort of

[xianjiro]

I'm probably going to study again (last chance) next year... This time i'm again choosing for psychology. It's 95% sure.

Diversity is more than just antiracism, pro-LGBTQ rights, whatsoever, it's more than that.

Wishing you lots of concentration and inspiration! Good luck with your studies and you're absolutely right about diversity, difference comes in so many different ways.

[blocho]

5th May 2021 will, incredibly, be the ten year anniversary of the forum. Hard to believe. Think we need to make a new logo with 10 years mentioned in it. Not too many new forums nowadays probably last so long.

we need to celebrate - some sort of

Maybe a new celebratory 10th anniversary topic in which we could salute the best posts and comments of the past 10 years?

[xianjiro]

5th May 2021 will, incredibly, be the ten year anniversary of the forum. Hard to believe. Think we need to make a new logo with 10 years mentioned in it. Not too many new forums nowadays probably last so long.

we need to celebrate - some sort of

Maybe a new celebratory 10th anniversary topic in which we could salute the best posts and comments of the past 10 years?

great idea!

[Lammetje]

5th May 2021 will, incredibly, be the ten year anniversary of the forum. Hard to believe. Think we need to make a new logo with 10 years mentioned in it. Not too many new forums nowadays probably last so long.

I already made one.

[AdamH]

5th May 2021 will, incredibly, be the ten year anniversary of the forum. Hard to believe. Think we need to make a new logo with 10 years mentioned in it. Not too many new forums nowadays probably last so long.

I already made one.

I don't even remember that and I replied to it But, yes, love it.

We need to bring back some old users for the day like Kaspar, Local Hero, monty etc.

[Lammetje]

Kong, if you're reading this: you're one post away from an elite post count.