How to make friends

[mjf314]

It's one of the best Russian animated shorts! You won't regret it. Maybe you can watch it with your daughter so she'll forget all about the fox song and become interested in Cheburashka instead (which would be a big improvement).

[Local Hero -- aka MestnyiGeroi]

It's one of the best Russian animated shorts! You won't regret it. Maybe you can watch it with your daughter so she'll forget all about the fox song and become interested in Cheburashka instead (which would be a big improvement).

See, that's a tough one, because the original Russian is so incredibly cute, and it's really a big part of the charm (there's a birthday song in the series that became a favorite in Russia, for instance). But a slight problem is that little non-Russian kids-- who would TOTALLY enjoy these shorts -- can't read subtitles. Now there is an English-dubbed version, which is OK, but nowhere near as charming. I don't know if it's available on the net.

Btw, I think there are just four episodes.

[burneyfan]

It's one of the best Russian animated shorts! You won't regret it. Maybe you can watch it with your daughter so she'll forget all about the fox song and become interested in Cheburashka instead (which would be a big improvement).

Ohh, I LIKE this idea! Maybe I'll show her some in the morning when she wakes up. I keep meaning to show her the Vinni-Pukh ones, too -- I liked those. (Some of the nuance of Yozhik v tumane may go over her head, though with her...hell, I never know. The kid freaks me out sometimes.)

[burneyfan]

But a slight problem is that little non-Russian kids-- who would TOTALLY enjoy they shorts -- can't read subtitles. Now there is an English-dubbed version, which is OK, but nowhere near as charming. I don't know if it's available on the net.

Mine reads subtitles..and intertitles. I shit you not. Sometimes they go a LITTLE fast for her, if they're REALLY fast, or she doesn't know a word or two, but...you'd be surprised. I am.

Other times, she'll have me translate (like with Le roi et l'oiseau) or speed-read subtitles to her. Somehow, she understands that they ARE subtitles, and what that means. She doesn't mind watching original-language, as long as people answer her questions. She's freaky. Really.

[mjf314]

That's not freaky. It just means that you taught her well. Btw has she seen Satantango yet?

[Local Hero -- aka MestnyiGeroi]

She's three???

Even if she can't get everything, if she's used to watching foreign-language shows and picking up what's going on from various cues, she'll love Cheburashka.

[burneyfan]

That's not freaky. It just means that you taught her well. Btw has she seen Satantango yet?

Ha ha...no, I'm gearing her up for Fassbinder's BRD Trilogy and Berlin Alexanderplatz first, before we tackle Tarr.

I think she comes by most of it naturally -- I mean, we always obliged her when she wanted to play word games and insisted on EVERYONE reading to her, stuff like that -- but it was stuff SHE always wanted to do -- just her weird, weird thing. There are times when I am really taken aback by how much she can do with reading and language. BUT...I'll stress: she's faaaaar from perfect at everything. Her fine motor skills are sub-par -- she can barely use a pair of scissors, and heaven knows she'll probably be eight or nine by the time she understands how to tie her own shoes (just like her mother ). It's not like she hasn't had plenty of opportunity to practice the fine motor stuff like every other kid -- we haven't kept her in a box reading all day. (She wishes!!) There are a lot of things she does CRAZY-well for her age (or even 3-4 years older than her age), but there are plenty of areas that are real challenges for her.

[mjf314]

Local Hero, I noticed that you haven't seen The Mitten. You should check it out. It's by the same director as Cheburashka.

[PeacefulAnarchy]

That's not freaky. It just means that you taught her well. Btw has she seen Satantango yet?

Ha ha...no, I'm gearing her up for Fassbinder's BRD Trilogy and Berlin Alexanderplatz first, before we tackle Tarr.

I think she comes by most of it naturally -- I mean, we always obliged her when she wanted to play word games and insisted on EVERYONE reading to her, stuff like that -- but it was stuff SHE always wanted to do -- just her weird, weird thing. There are times when I am really taken aback by how much she can do with reading and language. BUT...I'll stress: she's faaaaar from perfect at everything. Her fine motor skills are sub-par -- she can barely use a pair of scissors, and heaven knows she'll probably be eight or nine by the time she understands how to tie her own shoes (just like her mother ). It's not like she hasn't had plenty of opportunity to practice the fine motor stuff like every other kid -- we haven't kept her in a box reading all day. (She wishes!!) There are a lot of things she does CRAZY-well for her age (or even 3-4 years older than her age), but there are plenty of areas that are real challenges for her.

What about making friends, is she good at that?

[burneyfan]

She's three???

Even if she can't get everything, if she's used to watching foreign-language shows and picking up what's going on from various cues, she'll love Cheburashka.

YES!!! Almost four -- one more month, and she'll be four -- but STILL. She freaks me out. She watches silent films and reads the intertitles out loud -- watches foreign films and reads subtitles, as long as they're not CRAZY-fast, in which case, she wants me to speed-read them or paraphrase. (If I paused the frames, she could read them at a good clip herself -- it's the speed that gives her trouble -- rarely the vocabulary -- she's not shy about asking what every damn unfamiliar word is, and filing it away in that crazy little brain to use later.) She's awesome, and I'm impressed, but I really am often...very, very jarred.

[Local Hero -- aka MestnyiGeroi]

She's three???

Even if she can't get everything, if she's used to watching foreign-language shows and picking up what's going on from various cues, she'll love Cheburashka.

YES!!! Almost four -- one more month, and she'll be four -- but STILL. She freaks me out. She watches silent films and reads the intertitles out loud -- watches foreign films and reads subtitles, as long as they're not CRAZY-fast, in which case, she wants me to speed-read them or paraphrase. (If I paused the frames, she could read them at a good clip herself -- it's the speed that gives her trouble -- rarely the vocabulary -- she's not shy about asking what every damn unfamiliar word is, and filing it away in that crazy little brain to use later.) She's awesome, and I'm impressed, but I really am often...very, very jarred.

Reading subtitles at three is amazingly precocious.

In that case, do show her the first episode of Cheburashka tomorrow and let me know if she likes it. And, as I say, IT IS ABOUT MAKING FRIENDS.

[mjf314]

Which media player is she using? I don't know about other players, but in Media Player Classic you can press spacebar to pause/unpause, and you can also press left to rewind 5 seconds. Sometimes I have trouble reading subtitles fast enough, so this is very useful for me.

[burneyfan]

That's not freaky. It just means that you taught her well. Btw has she seen Satantango yet?

Ha ha...no, I'm gearing her up for Fassbinder's BRD Trilogy and Berlin Alexanderplatz first, before we tackle Tarr.

I think she comes by most of it naturally -- I mean, we always obliged her when she wanted to play word games and insisted on EVERYONE reading to her, stuff like that -- but it was stuff SHE always wanted to do -- just her weird, weird thing. There are times when I am really taken aback by how much she can do with reading and language. BUT...I'll stress: she's faaaaar from perfect at everything. Her fine motor skills are sub-par -- she can barely use a pair of scissors, and heaven knows she'll probably be eight or nine by the time she understands how to tie her own shoes (just like her mother ). It's not like she hasn't had plenty of opportunity to practice the fine motor stuff like every other kid -- we haven't kept her in a box reading all day. (She wishes!!) There are a lot of things she does CRAZY-well for her age (or even 3-4 years older than her age), but there are plenty of areas that are real challenges for her.

What about making friends, is she good at that?

Well, clearly she's unworthy because she hasn't seen Cheburashka (!) , but actually, yes, she has lots of friends and gets along very well with other kids. I'd say she's socially very average (except for her manners, which are eerily good, enhanced by that vocabulary and careful diction). She plays a lot with other kids, but sometimes, if there's something she really wants to do, she'll break off from her friends and do it -- sometimes her friends don't understand why she loses interest in being part of the group, and her preschool teacher says that the teacher tells them, "When [Burneyfan Jr.] wants to play alone, [Burneyfan Jr.] WANTS TO PLAY ALONE." But yes, most of the time when one of us picks her up from school, she's running around with friends and they're all pretending they're horses or dinosaurs or (the latest new game) "carrying babies in their tummies." (We haven't gone over anatomy and reproduction yet. )

[burneyfan]

Reading subtitles at three is amazingly precocious.

In that case, do show her the first episode of Cheburashka tomorrow and let me know if she likes it. And, as I say, IT IS ABOUT MAKING FRIENDS.

I spend plenty of time stunned, really. (And then stunned that she can barely take off a simple T-shirt, ha ha.)

I will show her Cheburashka tomorrow and report back.

Her preschool unit for this week has been all about "welcoming new friends" (since their school year just started), so the lesson should fit right in!

Not sure if she can recognize what a chess set is, though...she might know, actually. I guess I'll find out! If not, believe me...SHE'LL ASK.

[mjf314]

3 is a good age to learn chess.

[burneyfan]

Which media player is she using? I don't know about other players, but in Media Player Classic you can press spacebar to pause/unpause, and you can also press left to rewind 5 seconds. Sometimes I have trouble reading subtitles fast enough, so this is very useful for me.

Well, usually she sits on my lap (or Mr. burneyfan's) and we watch on the computer -- you know, just regular Youtube -- or she'll sit on my bed, and I'll play stuff on VLC. Other times, we'll watch stuff on the TV that comes from my hard drive through our PS3 (which doubles as DVD player). I pause for her sometimes, though she has recently figured out how to pause-and-play the VLC stuff using my little Apple remote control. I've seen her do it when she wants to leave the room for a moment (to go to the bathroom or go ask her father a question, for example), but I haven't seen her pause or rewind while she's watching -- usually if stuff is moving too fast, she just turns to me and wants me to fill in the blanks or answer her questions. I should teach her how to do it herself!!

[burneyfan]

Anyway, back to making friends and Cheburashka and stuff like that -- I feel like I digressed big-time and wrote a novel about my precious offspring (!!). I'm limiting the mommy talk for the short term, promise. Carry on, other people (or good night).

[Local Hero -- aka MestnyiGeroi]

Local Hero, I noticed that you haven't seen The Mitten. You should check it out. It's by the same director as Cheburashka.

Very cute-- thank you. I noticed that the very, very ending is just implied, not shown, which I think would not be done in an American children's show.

And best of all, it's the story of a girl who's LONELY BUT MANAGES TO MAKE A FRIEND.

[mjf314]

Speaking of making friends, I also recommend the anime film Unico (based on a manga by the legendary Osamu Tezuka). It's about a cute unicorn who has the power to bring happiness to anyone he meets. He gets exiled by jealous gods and is forced to travel from place to place, and in each place he makes new friends. There's one scene where he fights a monster, so I'm not sure if it would be too scary for a 3-year-old, but most of the film is child-friendly.

[PeacefulAnarchy]

And best of all, it's the story of a girl who's LONELY BUT MANAGES TO MAKE A FRIEND.

Did we watch the same film?

Spoiler: click to toggle

Her "friend" is a mitten she pretends is a dog.

That was incredibly sad for such an ostensibly upbeat little film.

[Local Hero -- aka MestnyiGeroi]

And best of all, it's the story of a girl who's LONELY BUT MANAGES TO MAKE A FRIEND.

Did we watch the same film?

Spoiler: click to toggle

Her "friend" is a mitten she pretends is a dog.

That was incredibly sad for such an ostensibly upbeat little film.

It is very sad at times, but

Spoiler: click to toggle

she does have fun with her imaginary dog for a while, and then at the end her mother realizes she has been too restrictive and goes to get a real puppy for her. Everybody wins!

And the thread doesn't need another cleaning ...

[metaller]

I remember something that made me quite mad when I was in game dev in the lab. One guy came in with his girlfriend and practically yelled "Hey guys! This is my girlfriend! "

This reminds me of that: http://xkcd.com/684/

[brokenface]

I'm just concerned because I am quite into films, and my taste with that and especially music can be really out there. I assume with films it could just be like "I'll watch a movie or two tonight while you watch tv or do whatever you like to do. See you in a few hours". Only other problem I could think of is when I would blast my experimental music.

without wanting to sound like patronising older person, it wouldn't be total surprise to me if you were into completely different music in 5/10 years..

also, fwiw, I think most people tend to see being passionate about something is an attractive trait even if they don't share the same taste, as long as it's not like the only thing you ever talk about!

[Dolwphin]

I guess you special guys/girls should stay here then, we are not afraid of your tastes. Personally I am not very social, after all I have Asperger syndrome, but I talk to some people IRL about movies and some in the cyber world, that is enough.

[mightysparks]

My rule in life has always been 'I'd rather have no friends, than lame friends'. I don't have the need for friends, but I choose to have people around if I like them. If the 'right people' come along, then great, if not, then good because I don't need to surround myself with people I don't want around. I only want the best for me, I won't settle for less

[brokenface]

but sometimes you gotta go through the lame friends in order to find the good ones..my experience is the easiest way to make new friends is via other friends. people tend to live in overlapping social circles, so you might get a link into one circle and that can lead you to several other circles and so on..

[mightysparks]

You have to have at least one friend to do that

I never make any effort in beginning a friendship. I just let them happen.

[Pretentious Hipster]

I'm just concerned because I am quite into films, and my taste with that and especially music can be really out there. I assume with films it could just be like "I'll watch a movie or two tonight while you watch tv or do whatever you like to do. See you in a few hours". Only other problem I could think of is when I would blast my experimental music.

without wanting to sound like patronising older person, it wouldn't be total surprise to me if you were into completely different music in 5/10 years..

also, fwiw, I think most people tend to see being passionate about something is an attractive trait even if they don't share the same taste, as long as it's not like the only thing you ever talk about!

Although my taste did change quite a bit in the past few years (I was a teen so obviously) I'm not sure if I can see it change. After all I listen to pretty much every genre except trance (I like psytrance though), crunkcore/scene music, most heavy metal, gothic metal, power metal, brostep, and reggaeton... and of course whatever the fuck is going on in the top 40 now. Not sure how my taste could evolve from that, at least as a major change. I keep wondering if I'll ever "grow out of" Death Grips though. Everyone I'm close friends with online already did that, and I fucking despise their fanbase. Also probably genre preferences too. I like hip hop the most atm.

I'll agree with you about that music trait though. I wouldn't really care what music people listen to, just as long as they put some effort into it.

[brokenface]

You have to have at least one friend to do that

I never make any effort in beginning a friendship. I just let them happen.

yeah that's kinda what I'm getting at, sometimes you might need to put up with some less-than-perfect people in order to get links to the 'right' kind of friends..

I'm sort of similar in that I'm happy to just hang out by myself a lot of the time & I don't make friends easy. moved to this town and knew nobody for most of the first year I was living here, but then through someone at work met a good crowd who have been the core of my social circle for years now and everyone else I've known has been through them directly or indirectly. the point being the person at work who introduced me to that circle is not particularly someone I'm close to but they were the starting link & if I hadn't gone along for a drink with them that I didn't particularly wanna go for, I may never have met the friends I have..

[mightysparks]

Yeah I know. I hung out with people at work a bit, and they were fine, but not really people I'd call friends. My flatmates are good and we have dinner/drinks together on weekends occasionally, but we all lead our own lives. Haven't really met anyone interesting enough to befriend yet.

[Kasparius]

Is that why we get along quite swimmingly? I've already won, er... We've already had all the fights? Maybe one of these days I'll be like "BOO-yah...JLG's Maoist period is his best, so suck it!" and then the gates of hell will open.

I think only El Cringo likes his Maoist period. Also I would have a VERY hard time believing you.

Particularly if I used the word "BOO-yah!" I doubt I could carry that one off convincingly. Besides, I'm like a '50s western guy -- my gunfightin' days are behind me...I just want to be a peaceful cowhand, unless goaded to my breaking point by violence and injustice (just go slamming my Fassbinder and see where it gets you, punk).

I just watched Martha, which was delightfully vicious. Although there was a horribly cringe inducing cat scene...

[burneyfan]

I think only El Cringo likes his Maoist period. Also I would have a VERY hard time believing you.

Particularly if I used the word "BOO-yah!" I doubt I could carry that one off convincingly. Besides, I'm like a '50s western guy -- my gunfightin' days are behind me...I just want to be a peaceful cowhand, unless goaded to my breaking point by violence and injustice (just go slamming my Fassbinder and see where it gets you, punk).

I just watched Martha, which was delightfully vicious. Although there was a horribly cringe inducing cat scene...

I cannot WAIT to see Martha!!!! Not because of any cat torture, for heaven's sake -- I didn't know there was any -- but because it's a Fassbinder biggie. I've been saving it for nearly two years...so I guess that technically, I can wait and I've been merely holding off on it as a treat (cynical and nasty though it sounds). Still, I want to see it.

[Kasparius]

I'm just concerned because I am quite into films, and my taste with that and especially music can be really out there. I assume with films it could just be like "I'll watch a movie or two tonight while you watch tv or do whatever you like to do. See you in a few hours". Only other problem I could think of is when I would blast my experimental music.

without wanting to sound like patronising older person, it wouldn't be total surprise to me if you were into completely different music in 5/10 years..

also, fwiw, I think most people tend to see being passionate about something is an attractive trait even if they don't share the same taste, as long as it's not like the only thing you ever talk about!

Or in 10 years your wife will have to tell your kids: "Dad is in the basement drilling again."

[Kasparius]

Particularly if I used the word "BOO-yah!" I doubt I could carry that one off convincingly. Besides, I'm like a '50s western guy -- my gunfightin' days are behind me...I just want to be a peaceful cowhand, unless goaded to my breaking point by violence and injustice (just go slamming my Fassbinder and see where it gets you, punk).

I just watched Martha, which was delightfully vicious. Although there was a horribly cringe inducing cat scene...

I cannot WAIT to see Martha!!!! Not because of any cat torture, for heaven's sake -- I didn't know there was any -- but because it's a Fassbinder biggie. I've been saving it for nearly two years...so I guess that technically, I can wait and I've been merely holding off on it as a treat (cynical and nasty though it sounds). Still, I want to see it.

The nastiness is mostly a big plus.

[Lammetje]

The most recent close friends I've made were colleagues at my previous jobs. In general I don't make friends easily and I'm fine being on my own.

I don't even know why I like or dislike certain films... But at least that's one sided. Understanding why I like or dislike a person is confusing enough, but I have no idea how I end up with the friends that I do my best friend in high school had practically nothing in common with me, he was in the 'D' class and I was in 'A', he was loud and outgoing and social, I was quiet and shy and loner-y. We had been friends in early primary school and then met again years later and he was like 'I remember you' and I said 'yeah, your dog peed on me' and from then on we were inseparable friends. Totally bizarre.

Just mention piss and shit and mighty will be your friend

[OldAle1]

"friends"? Is that one of those new smartphone apps or something that I've heard about? Sounds familiar. I know there was an old TV show too, that sucked. Otherwise no clue what this thread is about.

[kongs_speech]

I stumbled ass backwards into meeting my best friend by going to a local punk show several years ago where her husband's band was playing. My online friends are all from film places.

[prodigalgodson]

I'm at this weird point where my taste is so weird but I think people that like the same things as I do are too weird for me.

Can't stand the offbeat heat, stay out of the kooky kitchen...

[Coryn]

Sometimes i feel like i am the outcast in this forum. I easily make friends but there is no magic trick to it. Take initiative and be inclusive if that makes sense, if you're the one sitting in a corner while other people talk they have no reason to incorporate you

[joachimt]

"friends"? Is that one of those new smartphone apps or something that I've heard about? Sounds familiar. I know there was an old TV show too, that sucked. Otherwise no clue what this thread is about.

This is how you "make" a friend.