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How to make friends

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#81

Post by 3eyes »

Decades ago I found that alcohol helped me to come out of my shell and connect with people - but eventually it took over and became offputting instead. So I don't recommend that route.

My cousin used to say that the only way to make friends after college was to join a church. Has worked for me. But any interest group, cause or like that would help I guess - tho less so during the pandemic. Online friendships also have their advantages if one has the energy to keep them up (which I mostly don't these days).
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#82

Post by maxwelldeux »

I recommend getting married then having your spouse make all the friends for you. WAY easier than figuring out how to do it yourself. :lol:

But to 3eyes point, alcohol... can help. I had to learn the hard way to build up a professional buffer in my personality where my job persona would actually be "work appropriate", but that's also the persona I adopt in new situations. So alcohol helps break that shell a bit with new folks. But yeah - probably shouldn't be known as "time to make a friend" juice.
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#83

Post by OldAle1 »

maxwelldeux wrote: March 7th, 2021, 5:11 pm I recommend getting married then having your spouse make all the friends for you. WAY easier than figuring out how to do it yourself. :lol:

But to 3eyes point, alcohol... can help. I had to learn the hard way to build up a professional buffer in my personality where my job persona would actually be "work appropriate", but that's also the persona I adopt in new situations. So alcohol helps break that shell a bit with new folks. But yeah - probably shouldn't be known as "time to make a friend" juice.
I don't have enough money for a mail-order bride unfortunately but not a bad suggestion for some.
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#84

Post by Armoreska »

OldAle1 wrote: March 7th, 2021, 1:19 am "friends"? Is that one of those new smartphone apps or something that I've heard about? Sounds familiar. I know there was an old TV show too, that sucked. Otherwise no clue what this thread is about.
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.


1. not sure, most humans just want to eat me :/ also have ideological differences with everyone whose stance I know. don't closely know anyone among other species, other than the fruit flies on my dinner.
2. sure, I'm acquainted with a few.
3. plenty of people allied with me on separate causes and probably a few on my exact one. yes, many comrades for sure that I can chat to on Telegram.

I'd say Arthur is much better off than me with the friends business. I think having too many of type 1 would distract from watching movies anyway.
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#85

Post by Mario Gaborović »

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

1. not sure, most humans just want to eat me :/ also have ideological differences with everyone whose stance I know. don't closely know anyone among other species, other than the fruit
If that includes getting sexually aroused by a sight of churches in flames, can I be your friend then? I don't feel like my life is complete without committing such a destructive act of violence against those who are against progress and total freedom. They are increasingly getting on my nerves as the years go by.

Red light district workers/strippers are way more useful than those devils in black.
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#86

Post by Armoreska »

Mario Gaborović wrote: March 7th, 2021, 6:27 pm
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

1. not sure, most humans just want to eat me :/ also have ideological differences with everyone whose stance I know. don't closely know anyone among other species, other than the fruit
If that includes getting sexually aroused by a sight of churches in flames, can I be your friend then? I don't feel like my life is complete without committing such a destructive act of violence against those who are against progress and total freedom. They are increasingly getting on my nerves as the years go by.

Red light district workers/strippers are way more useful than those devils in black.
You can't trust me to not burn the district as well.

You must be a writer by the way such wonderful sentences :wub:
Last edited by Armoreska on March 7th, 2021, 6:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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the rest
ANARCHISTS, ANIMAL RIGHTS, Assisted suicide, Existential films, SOCIALIST CINEMA (an amalgamation of lists), Feminist lists, various GSSRM lists (aka LGBTQ+), 2010s bests, Visual Effects nominees, kid-related stuff, great animes (mini-serie or feature), very 80s movies, mah huge sci-fi list, ENVIRO, remarkable Silent Films and Pre-Code (exploring 1925 atm) and every shorts and docu list I'm aware of and
/forum.icmforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=1434
and "Gordon" Liu Chia-Hui/Liu Chia-Liang and Yuen Woo-ping and "Sammo" Hung Kam-bo
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#87

Post by kongs_speech »

Mario Gaborović wrote: March 7th, 2021, 6:27 pm
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

1. not sure, most humans just want to eat me :/ also have ideological differences with everyone whose stance I know. don't closely know anyone among other species, other than the fruit
If that includes getting sexually aroused by a sight of churches in flames, can I be your friend then? I don't feel like my life is complete without committing such a destructive act of violence against those who are against progress and total freedom. They are increasingly getting on my nerves as the years go by.

Red light district workers/strippers are way more useful than those devils in black.
You're disturbed.
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#88

Post by Mario Gaborović »

You can't trust me to not burn the district as well.

You must be a writer by the way such wonderful sentences :wub:
Oh thank you! I'm so creative when it comes to honest hatred.

And don't think we in Serbia don't know about that video from Ukraine, when a priest rode on a man as if he was a donkey. People from the West (including kongs_speech as well) are not aware who are we dealing with in our societies.

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These three are among the most popular people in my country; it's probably my fault for not having as many friends as I would like to. Being disturbed, you know. :party:
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#89

Post by Armoreska »

Mario Gaborović wrote: March 7th, 2021, 7:13 pm
You can't trust me to not burn the district as well.

You must be a writer by the way such wonderful sentences :wub:
Oh thank you! I'm so creative when it comes to honest hatred.

And don't think we in Serbia don't know about that video from Ukraine, when a priest rode on a man as if he was a donkey. People from the West (including kongs_speech as well) are not aware who are we dealing with in our societies.

These three are among the most popular people in my country; it's probably my fault for not having as many friends as I would like to. Being disturbed, you know. :party:
didn't hear of that. it's Moldova, google says

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_righ ... ic_opinion
According to the Commissioner for the Protection of Equality, research carried out in 2012 showed that 48% of Serbs believed that homosexuality is an illness.
2017: 90 percent opposed child adoption by LGBT person

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_righ ... ic_opinion
In a December 2007 survey by Angus Reid Global Monitor, 81.3% of Ukrainians polled said that homosexual relations were "never acceptable"
-wow I was in the 3% back then. pretty sure 3% is less than how many people are not-straight.

On 25 September 2016, European scientific studies detected that Ukrainians displayed higher levels of homophobia than Albanians and Italians

A summer 2015 survey by the British Council revealed that one in five of Ukrainian youth would be uncomfortable with having lesbian and gay people as friends.

poll published in May 2017 suggested that 9% of Ukrainians were in favor of same-sex marriage, while 85% opposed it
however

43% believed people should be allowed to change their legal gender
which is more than I expect
he or A. or Armo or any

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currently working towards a vegan/free world + thru such film lists: GODARD, r/antinatalism recommends,..
the rest
ANARCHISTS, ANIMAL RIGHTS, Assisted suicide, Existential films, SOCIALIST CINEMA (an amalgamation of lists), Feminist lists, various GSSRM lists (aka LGBTQ+), 2010s bests, Visual Effects nominees, kid-related stuff, great animes (mini-serie or feature), very 80s movies, mah huge sci-fi list, ENVIRO, remarkable Silent Films and Pre-Code (exploring 1925 atm) and every shorts and docu list I'm aware of and
/forum.icmforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=1434
and "Gordon" Liu Chia-Hui/Liu Chia-Liang and Yuen Woo-ping and "Sammo" Hung Kam-bo
imaginary awards | youtube channels | complaint lounge | explain how big a fan of slavery you are here, ..viewtopic.php?f=12&t=1535 and here: ..viewtopic.php?f=12&t=4484
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#90

Post by Mario Gaborović »

I meant about this video - was it actually Russia? :blink:


In Montenegro there was notorious Peranović, a priest who used to "cure" drug addicts by hitting their backs with a shovel. He became nation-wide known when one of them died from injuries. This is how rheumatism should be treated, I'm tellin ya: :party:

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#91

Post by kongs_speech »

I don't do this often, but I would like to sincerely apologize. I did not have this information and I understand now where you're coming from. It's all a matter of our cultural perspectives. As an American Christian (albeit one who doesn't go to church and has no interest in doing so), I tend to think of churches as being a little kooky but certainly not worthy targets of violence, especially considering that black churches often have been burned historically. You're not disturbed for being opposed to what these extremist Eastern European churches are doing. I understand your frustration and desire to watch it all burn.
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#92

Post by Mario Gaborović »

kongs_speech wrote: March 7th, 2021, 8:13 pm I don't do this often, but I would like to sincerely apologize. I did not have this information and I understand now where you're coming from. It's all a matter of our cultural perspectives. As an American Christian (albeit one who doesn't go to church and has no interest in doing so), I tend to think of churches as being a little kooky but certainly not worthy targets of violence, especially considering that black churches often have been burned historically. You're not disturbed for being opposed to what these extremist Eastern European churches are doing. I understand your frustration and desire to watch it all burn.
I just can't grasp how a sane, intelligent person can believe in something he/she never actually witnessed to; even more so because there's abnormal level of injustice everywhere, anytime. Even if there's something as deity, WHY YOU SHOULD WORSHIP IT, knowing about it all?

And remember that 2000 years on, you're acting humble in front of teaching written by superstitious people who knew sh**, had no knowledge of history or anything... the almost entire planet is taking life directions from nonsensical ramblings told by people who wanted to believe, felt cool to think they witnessed walking on the water's surface - even though he probably was standing close to the shore when spotted, with sea splashing his ankles.

Self-deception is obviously the best of all drugs.
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#93

Post by kongs_speech »

Okay, apology retracted. I wouldn't call that line of thinking disturbed, but it's certainly judgmental and narrow-minded. I don't condemn atheists.
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#94

Post by Lammetje »

Mario, why do you have to be so nasty after that nice apology from Kong? Also, this is hardly the thread to discuss religion.
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#95

Post by Mario Gaborović »

Lammetje wrote: March 7th, 2021, 8:48 pm Mario, why do you have to be so nasty after that nice apology from Kong? Also, this is hardly the thread to discuss religion.
Religious people make up 60-90% of any society, which might be an obstacle when it comes to larger social acceptance for the outsiders. (we talk about making friends here, don't we?)

I didn't intend to be nasty, don't have any reason to be. But I believe it is a duty of atheists to confront. Being an inactive bystander is not enough.
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#96

Post by Armoreska »

Mario Gaborović wrote: March 7th, 2021, 9:34 pm
Lammetje wrote: March 7th, 2021, 8:48 pm Mario, why do you have to be so nasty after that nice apology from Kong? Also, this is hardly the thread to discuss religion.
Religious people make up 60-90% of any society, which might be an obstacle when it comes to larger social acceptance for the outsiders. (we talk about making friends here, don't we?)

I didn't intend to be nasty, don't have any reason to be. But I believe it is a duty of atheists to confront. Being an inactive bystander is not enough.
:thumbsup:

everyone else,

:lol:
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the rest
ANARCHISTS, ANIMAL RIGHTS, Assisted suicide, Existential films, SOCIALIST CINEMA (an amalgamation of lists), Feminist lists, various GSSRM lists (aka LGBTQ+), 2010s bests, Visual Effects nominees, kid-related stuff, great animes (mini-serie or feature), very 80s movies, mah huge sci-fi list, ENVIRO, remarkable Silent Films and Pre-Code (exploring 1925 atm) and every shorts and docu list I'm aware of and
/forum.icmforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=1434
and "Gordon" Liu Chia-Hui/Liu Chia-Liang and Yuen Woo-ping and "Sammo" Hung Kam-bo
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#97

Post by prodigalgodson »

Mario Gaborović wrote: March 7th, 2021, 8:29 pm
kongs_speech wrote: March 7th, 2021, 8:13 pm I don't do this often, but I would like to sincerely apologize. I did not have this information and I understand now where you're coming from. It's all a matter of our cultural perspectives. As an American Christian (albeit one who doesn't go to church and has no interest in doing so), I tend to think of churches as being a little kooky but certainly not worthy targets of violence, especially considering that black churches often have been burned historically. You're not disturbed for being opposed to what these extremist Eastern European churches are doing. I understand your frustration and desire to watch it all burn.
I just can't grasp how a sane, intelligent person can believe in something he/she never actually witnessed to; even more so because there's abnormal level of injustice everywhere, anytime. Even if there's something as deity, WHY YOU SHOULD WORSHIP IT, knowing about it all?

And remember that 2000 years on, you're acting humble in front of teaching written by superstitious people who knew sh**, had no knowledge of history or anything... the almost entire planet is taking life directions from nonsensical ramblings told by people who wanted to believe, felt cool to think they witnessed walking on the water's surface - even though he probably was standing close to the shore when spotted, with sea splashing his ankles.

Self-deception is obviously the best of all drugs.
Lol, what a dick move. He extended a hand and you slapped it away.

This is why you nutcakes don't have friends. No judgment tho, not like I do either...
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#98

Post by Mario Gaborović »

prodigalgodson wrote: March 8th, 2021, 3:03 am
Mario Gaborović wrote: March 7th, 2021, 8:29 pm
kongs_speech wrote: March 7th, 2021, 8:13 pm I don't do this often, but I would like to sincerely apologize. I did not have this information and I understand now where you're coming from. It's all a matter of our cultural perspectives. As an American Christian (albeit one who doesn't go to church and has no interest in doing so), I tend to think of churches as being a little kooky but certainly not worthy targets of violence, especially considering that black churches often have been burned historically. You're not disturbed for being opposed to what these extremist Eastern European churches are doing. I understand your frustration and desire to watch it all burn.
I just can't grasp how a sane, intelligent person can believe in something he/she never actually witnessed to; even more so because there's abnormal level of injustice everywhere, anytime. Even if there's something as deity, WHY YOU SHOULD WORSHIP IT, knowing about it all?

And remember that 2000 years on, you're acting humble in front of teaching written by superstitious people who knew sh**, had no knowledge of history or anything... the almost entire planet is taking life directions from nonsensical ramblings told by people who wanted to believe, felt cool to think they witnessed walking on the water's surface - even though he probably was standing close to the shore when spotted, with sea splashing his ankles.

Self-deception is obviously the best of all drugs.
Lol, what a dick move. He extended a hand and you slapped it away.

This is why you nutcakes don't have friends. No judgment tho, not like I do either...
But being polite is the EASIEST WAY. You'll make tons of fake friends + you're not true to yourself; you're forced to pretend while you're boiling on the inside :shrug: .
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#99

Post by Onderhond »

Mario Gaborović wrote: March 7th, 2021, 9:34 pm But I believe it is a duty of atheists to confront. Being an inactive bystander is not enough.
"I really care for issue X and everyone who thinks the same but isn't actively doing about it is part of the problem"

So woke yo.
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#100

Post by Lakigigar »

I have no idea how to make friends either. I could ask some Moviemeter users to hang out with, i guess. But it's really difficult. I live in co-housing, so I suppose I have some friends here, but every friend of me has awful taste. My co-housing members have better than average taste though I believe (otherwise I wouldn't have been able to watch The Great Dictator I suppose). Although one of them has been bragging about having an IQ of 142 and i'm like: "hmm yeah". And their political tastes are also extremely harsh anti-establishment too, some of them even having conspiracy theorist views but fine (in my family circles it's more of the same, more than half believe in conspiracies).

My best friend is a leftie, but he always states that he'd rather lives as a fisherman in Vietnam than to live in Belgium LOL.

Finding someone with my taste is basically impossible though.
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#101

Post by Coryn »

This is worse than I thought, it now really seems that over half of this community on here doesn't have more than 2-3 friends ? Some even go as far as saying they don't "need" friends ?

Important part here is that you can make friends whose interests are way off with yours. My closest friends don't watch arthouse cinema but it's no big deal, that's why I wander this forum to discuss this topic. Thinking your interests should allign to be friends seems so shallow. It's also not wrong to meet someone you have nothing in common with and be interested in what they do instead of trying to convince them that your movies are the best thing in this world ...

I'd say I have 7 really close friends, about 30 more I could call up any time I need them and way more people I'd call friends as well but I won't necesarilly share everything with.
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#102

Post by mightysparks »

Yea you don’t need to share interests. Sharing a sense of humour and a low need for socializing/attention are usually the main things that make me click with people. I’ve never met anyone who shared my love for films and while it might be nice, it’s never been an issue in the few friendships I’ve had.

Having said that my only real friend is my boyfriend and we also have a friend that we used to live that we see every few months. But I have no need or want for friends or whatever so I’m happy with the ones I’ve got.
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#103

Post by Lammetje »

Coryn wrote: March 8th, 2021, 1:33 pm This is worse than I thought, it now really seems that over half of this community on here doesn't have more than 2-3 friends ? Some even go as far as saying they don't "need" friends ?
This is not bad or alarming or anything. For a lot of people (including myself) having just a few close friends is enough. I'm actually glad I don't have as many friends as you, it sounds exhausting. :P
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#104

Post by Coryn »

Lammetje wrote: March 8th, 2021, 3:49 pm
Coryn wrote: March 8th, 2021, 1:33 pm This is worse than I thought, it now really seems that over half of this community on here doesn't have more than 2-3 friends ? Some even go as far as saying they don't "need" friends ?
This is not bad or alarming or anything. For a lot of people (including myself) having just a few close friends is enough. I'm actually glad I don't have as many friends as you, it sounds exhausting. :P
There's nothing wrong with having a few friends as you say. I'd rather have the 7 closest ones than the 30 who are a little further away obviously.
From what I read here though there are people who have given up on making friends because they don't share the same interests as they do which sounds alarming and a good recipe for loneliness.
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#105

Post by kongs_speech »

The idea of not needing or wanting friends is something I can't relate to at all. I've had it both ways. I've had no one and been utterly miserable. Now I have a great support system and I'm much happier. Because I have friends all over the globe, there's always somebody I can message at any time, day or night, and strike up a conversation. Loneliness is not for me.
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#106

Post by Mario Gaborović »

kongs_speech wrote: March 8th, 2021, 7:01 pm The idea of not needing or wanting friends is something I can't relate to at all. I've had it both ways. I've had no one and been utterly miserable. Now I have a great support system and I'm much happier. Because I have friends all over the globe, there's always somebody I can message at any time, day or night, and strike up a conversation. Loneliness is not for me.
Wanting is not enough. Especially when you live in a small town where you know just about anybody. And the idea that someone like Trump or similar idiot (think of numerous European counterparts these days) is able to shape more than 50% of the minds is horrifying. I mean how should I talk to a person who wants to expel Syrian refugees? ("mixing with them we're destroying our identity" crap)

I think Lammetje referred to you as 'he', but you're a girl I believe.
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kongs_speech
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#107

Post by kongs_speech »

Mario Gaborović wrote: March 8th, 2021, 7:30 pm
kongs_speech wrote: March 8th, 2021, 7:01 pm The idea of not needing or wanting friends is something I can't relate to at all. I've had it both ways. I've had no one and been utterly miserable. Now I have a great support system and I'm much happier. Because I have friends all over the globe, there's always somebody I can message at any time, day or night, and strike up a conversation. Loneliness is not for me.
Wanting is not enough. Especially when you live in a small town where you know just about anybody. And the idea that someone like Trump or similar idiot (think of numerous European counterparts these days) is able to shape more than 50% of the minds is horrifying. I mean how should I talk to a person who wants to expel Syrian refugees? ("mixing with them we're destroying our identity" crap)

I think Lammetje referred to you as 'he', but you're a girl I believe.
I can relate to that, which is why most of my friends are like-minded people online.

Yes, I am trans. Thank you for asking.
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peeptoad
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#108

Post by peeptoad »

I'm happy having only a small # of close friends (though that small # has been further reduced by two of my friends dying over the last 4 years and unfortunately both were the ones that I had by far the most in common with)... I do need to expand my support network/subset of like-minded friends though, and I plan on gradually starting down that path once I get the second dose of the vaccine. Or maybe over the summer. Stuff (re: the pandemic) is still weird around here where I live...
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3eyes
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#109

Post by 3eyes »

Maybe we're all Aspies, or at an rate nerds.

As a Friend, I guess I should offer to hold you all in the Light. (But of course I'm a relic of the 20th century.)
:run: STILL the Gaffer!
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